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Funny satire stories about Eric Holder

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Funny story: Attorney General invokes deity to decide Petraeus case

Attorney General invokes deity to decide Petraeus case

Attorney General Eric Holder yesterday claimed the Petraeus case will be decided "at the highest" level in an "appropriate" way. Meanwhile, Senator Feinstein urged that people can't be too careful with their behaviors in various chambers when they...
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Funny story: Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Too big to jail executive mistaken for ordinary criminal apologized to and released

Resigning Attorney General Eric Holder has come forward to clarify what happened with a banking executive who recently spent a night in jail anyway, despite being "too big to jail." This executive (who must remain anonymous, according to Mr. Hold...
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Funny story: A second Loretta Lynch crawls out of the woodwork as Clinton/Whitewater throwback

A second Loretta Lynch crawls out of the woodwork as Clinton/Whitewater throwback

Washinton DC - A second woman called Loretta Lynch has been nominated by President Obama as his pick for Attorney General following Eric Holder's abrupt departure citing piles. Loretta Lynch, 69, is a Little Cock, Arkansas lawyer who was part of B...
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Funny story: Justice Department Indicts Mortgage Czar

Justice Department Indicts Mortgage Czar

In the wake of the 2008 financial crisis stemming from massive mortgage security fraud, the Justice Department, under increasing pressure to hold someone (anyone) accountable, has named Patrick "Patsy" Connelly as a principle target for prosecution.
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Funny story: Eric Holder admitted at DC hospital for sex reassignment surgery

Eric Holder admitted at DC hospital for sex reassignment surgery

WASHINGTON, DC - Attorney General Eric Holder admitted himself this morning to nearby hospital, MedStar Washington Hospital Center, for sex reassignment surgery. The surgery has been scheduled for tomorrow morning. "During his regular morning meet...
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Funny story: Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Attorney General Holder orders America to turn itself in

Washington, DC -- The Obama Administration's top lawman has officially arrested the entire population of the United States. In an unprecedented Justice Department directive, Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a plan to imprison every American...
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Funny story: GOP autopsy causes murder investigation.

GOP autopsy causes murder investigation.

Washington DC- Attorney General Eric Holder announced an investigation into the possible murder of the Republican party.The AG's office confirmed that RNC chairman Reince Priebus is being held as a "person of interest", and warrants have been issued...
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Funny story: Eric Holder lookalike to play Pontius Pilate to Mehdi Ouazanni's Satan role

Eric Holder lookalike to play Pontius Pilate to Mehdi Ouazanni's Satan role

New York - "It's the ultimate devil's advocate scenario," a Hystery Channel studio source said today commenting on the casting of a US Attorney General doppelganger to play Pontius Pilate in future episodes of The Bible. The actor, thought to Rock...
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Funny story: US sues Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi

US sues Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi

Washington DC - TheSpoof.com has confirmed Eric Gunholder will sue Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi. According to the suit, Ponzi spoiled the reputation of the Social Security Administration. Gunholder told TheSpoof.com in an exclu...
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Funny story: Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

LEICESTER, England (ABSNN) - A whole lot of people who believed the male skeleton found beneath a parking lot in this English city was King Richard III, who was slain during the War of the Roses, an English Civil War, were disappointed when DNA testi...
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Funny story: Obama sends SEAL Team One for Romney's head!

Obama sends SEAL Team One for Romney's head!

SEAL TEAM I BASE, CORONADO CA (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama has ordered US Navy SEAL Team I to "get Romney, no matter the cost in innocent lives." LT Josh Ning, PAO at the SEAL Base in Coronado, California, told reporters Saturday afternoon t...
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Funny story: Holder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'

Holder Admits to 'Fast and Furious' Foul-Up: 'We Forgot the Drugs'

Washington DC - Under mounting pressure to disclose more details about the government's Fast and Furious gun-running fiasco, Attorney General Eric Holder revealed today that the effort failed because a "drug tracking" component of the operation was n...
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Funny story: "Don't Snitch" Culture Creeps Into American Government - We Now Have Ghetto Politics

"Don't Snitch" Culture Creeps Into American Government - We Now Have Ghetto Politics

The culture of "Don't Snitch" that has blighted African American neighborhoods, where citizens refuse to cooperate with law enforcement or authority, either due to fear or a misconceived fear of the law has at last crept into our constitution, thanks...
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Funny story: Attorney General Eric Holder, Obama's "Good Buddy", Never Misses A Happy Hour

Attorney General Eric Holder, Obama's "Good Buddy", Never Misses A Happy Hour

Despite failing to produce the documents requested for the congressional investigation into the Justice Department's botched Fast and Furious gun walking operation Attorney General Eric Holder still managed time to sing karaoke and knock back a coup...
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Funny story: Barack Obama Announces Engagement Of Sheriff Joe Arpaio And Eric Holder

Barack Obama Announces Engagement Of Sheriff Joe Arpaio And Eric Holder

BILLINGSGATE POST - In a speech before the National Scissor Butt Thesbians and Lisping Sportswriters of America, President Obama announced today that America's toughest sheriff and its weakest Attorney General are engaged to be married after the Nov...
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Funny story: AG Holder: 'The heart of Dixie needs by-pass surgery and is going to get it!

AG Holder: 'The heart of Dixie needs by-pass surgery and is going to get it!

SANFORD, FL (ABSNN) Attorney General Eric Holder told the press today that "The Heart of Dixie needs immediate by-pass surgery," in the wake of the shooting death of Traynor Martin, a black teenaged gang-banger at the hands of a white man, George Zim...
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Funny story: Holder Stretches to Comply

Holder Stretches to Comply

Attorneys at the Department of Justice are scrambling today, as they work hurriedly to complete the homework assigned to them on Tuesday by Federal Judge Jerry Smith of the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals. Judge Smith has demanded a letter of no le...
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Funny story: San Francisco Offers Sanctuary, Sex Change, & Security to Hounded Diva Casey Anthony!

San Francisco Offers Sanctuary, Sex Change, & Security to Hounded Diva Casey Anthony!

Girl on the run Casey Anthony, who skated from her murder conviction involving her two year old daughter due to a prosecutorial miscalculation over evidence, is now considering all her options for a new life. Public outrage over her acquittal has...
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Breaking News...

Imperial Palace Announces New Prestigious Appointment

Barack I has named Justice John Roberts as Lord Chancellor of Obamacare with specific authority to condemn all those AntiO'Carelamic terrorists to be waterboarded in perpetuity at Guantanamo Bay Keep.
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