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Allardyce stumbles over Pokemon Go

The real reason for Sam Allardyce being sacked as England football manager has now come to light. While the official version is that he helped others circumvent FA rules on transfers, insiders have revealed that his obsession with playing games of an...

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Manchester City pay man £50m a year to remove pizza from Joe Hart's diet

Pep has been in place for a few weeks now and City's head honcho has managed to work out exactly why the team under achieved last season. Pizza. Yes, you can assume that City will not be announcing Pizza Express as their official Pizza Partner...

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The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 3 Roy's Scouting Trip

Funny story: The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 3 Roy's Scouting Trip

Did you see it? Did you bloody see it? He looked like he was on holiday in Southend not visiting a building site in Manaus. No style, stupid 99p Store shades, long sleeve shirt, all buttoned up and I bet he was wearing flannels and a vest. I suppo...

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Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'

Funny story: Stuart Pearce livid at being branded a 'Baboon'

Sky Sources (Mustard & Ketchup) believe that football officials have confirmed that they will be launching an inquiry into Stuart Pearce's red card and touch-line ban. Pearce reacted to alleged racist abuse from home fans by kicking a football...

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Glenn Hoddle Is New England Manager

Funny story: Glenn Hoddle Is New England Manager

Glenn Hoddle has been named England manager, according to a press release made from FA HQ in London. Hoddle, 60, last managed England in 1996 - and led them to World Cup gory, or would have, had David Beckham not got himself sent off against Argen...

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Hairy Redknipp in court!

Funny story: Hairy Redknipp in court!

Totempall Manager, Hairy Redknipp, appeared in court today accused of tax evasion and having a house in North Wales. Mr Redknipps laywer, Blind Paul Gascoin, made it clear his client would fight the allegations; "Tooth and nail" and added; "I a...

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FA Abstains In Vote On Capello

Funny story: FA Abstains In Vote On Capello

The Football Association's executive board has agreed to abstain in the vote to decide whether or not to continue with Fabio Capello as England manager. FA Chairman David Bernstein explained : "All members of the executive board were unanimous...

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The KOP: "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!"

Funny story: The KOP: "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!", "Hodgson for England!"

This WAS Anfield, Merseyside: Such is the adoration of Roy Hodgson from the 'faithfaul' Liverpool Supporters, that their chant "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England", "Hodgson for England" has become the foundation of their growing 'esteem' in...

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Tommy Cooper: "Fabio Capello may retire in 2012 as England Team Manager, when he gets older!"

Funny story: Tommy Cooper: "Fabio Capello may retire in 2012 as England Team Manager, when he gets older!"

Wembley, North London: In sumptuous surroundings, cigar smoke in the air and many people speaking in high class pronounced accents, with their noses in the air, everybody fell silent when the main speaker for the evening, Tommy Cooper who was already standing at the lectern, coughed to begin the lecture. "Lords Ladies and Gentlemen, may I remind all of you who are here this evening, that as st...

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Exclusive Beckham Interview: I Got the Goldenballs for the England Manager Job

Funny story: Exclusive Beckham Interview: I Got the Goldenballs for the England Manager Job

For those readers who chose to actually read The Sun newspaper today (instead of using it for its correct purpose - emergency toilet paper); you will have been presented with the argument for David Beckham to take over the reigns of the England job from Fabio Capello. The Suns argument - which ignores the obvious basics like Beckham having no coaching badges, no managerial experience whatsoever...

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Fabio Capello: "Tommy Cooper inspired us in the FIFA 2010 World Cup!"

Funny story: Fabio Capello: "Tommy Cooper inspired us in the FIFA 2010 World Cup!"

England HQ in the field, South Africa: "We're expecting a Heroes welcome when we get back home at Glasgow Airport!" boomed out Fabio Capello in Tommy Cooper style! Stuck up around all England the dugouts and all the players bedrooms was Fabio Ca...

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Stephen Hawkings Appointed New England Manager and Names Chimpanzee as Assistant

Funny story: Stephen Hawkings Appointed New England Manager and Names Chimpanzee as Assistant

It's the dream team England fans have been waiting for - everone's favourite Dalek Stephen Hawking is teaming up with a chimpanzee to take over the reigns of the England squad with immediate effect. While the England squad make their way back to t...

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Bieber's Manager Arrested

Funny story: Bieber's Manager Arrested

The manager of pop sensation Justin Bieber has been arrested following a brawl at one of Bieber's events. Scott 'Scooter' Braun, heir to the famous electric shaver empire is said to have taken 90 minutes to cancel the event after he decided 'it was t...

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Notts County Announce Massive Fall In Season Ticket Sales

Funny story: Notts County Announce Massive Fall In Season Ticket Sales

Notts County, who last week secured the services of the former England manager Sven-Goran Eriksson as Director of Football, have announced the rather depressing news that season ticket sales for the coming campaign are at a record low. County, the...

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Beckham In Tears Over Capello Snub

Funny story: Beckham In Tears Over Capello Snub

David Beckham, the greatest English footballer never to play 100 times for his country, was last night "in tears" and "beside himself with grief" over his non-selection for next w...

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'Carry On England Manager' Movie Announced

Funny story: 'Carry On England Manager' Movie Announced

Farthead Productions today revealed that a new 'Carry On' film is to be made about the life and times of a typical England Manager...

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England Football Manager Fabio Capello Arrested for Racketeering and Tax Evasion

Funny story: England Football Manager Fabio Capello Arrested for Racketeering and Tax Evasion

Fabio Capello the son of a leading member of the notorious Sicilian Mafia is currently on bail after being held at a Prison in Turin for Match Fixing, Drug Distribution and for not declaring to the Italian Customs a sum of at least £10.5 million.

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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