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Funny story: Protests grow in aftermath of Euro exit

Protests grow in aftermath of Euro exit

There was fury last night when it emerged that England's entire Euro 16 squad (with the exception of Jack Wilshere) have been refused Personal Independence Payment (PIP). Manager Roy Hodgson resigned in disgust, with a close friend claiming, "Roy...
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Funny story: English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

English Thug Punches Bag of Crisps at Euro 2016

Following substantial unrest in Marseille and Lille, the scourge of English football hooliganism has reared its ugly head again in the city of Arras, Pas De Calais. The unsavoury incident occurred at approximately 11:15am in the central Leader Pri...
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Funny story: Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Britain, U.K. - After casting millions of votes to name England's new oceanic research vessel Boaty McBoat Face, and then being denied the name by those in charge of naming boats and stuff, most british citizens would now like to stop using the word...
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Funny story: Jacko and Feducious T. are on a trek to grab ahold of the 'world's perfect beer glass'

Jacko and Feducious T. are on a trek to grab ahold of the 'world's perfect beer glass'

My friend and neighbor Jacko and my old English Comp teacher Feducious T. Flynt stopped by the other day and informed me they were on a sojourn for what they considered to be the quest for the holy grail. "We're taking a road trip, then we'll be t...
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Funny story: Cameron On The New World Order

Cameron On The New World Order

In line with the current ruling on anti-Semitism which applies also to Jews, especially Non-Zionist Jews who can think for themselves, UK Prime Minister David Cameron decreed yesterday to a packed House of Commons that "anti-Americanism" be also out...
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Funny story: Motorway signs are all lies

Motorway signs are all lies

The warning signs seen across British motorways are written entirely by compulsive liars, it has emerged. Signs such as "Queue Ahead" and "Obstruction in carriageway" simply aren't true. A spokesperson for the British Highways has admitted "We...
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Funny story: The Spoof nails it again - Rowling announces yet another Potter

The Spoof nails it again - Rowling announces yet another Potter

And who among the Sheeple-Gullibles thought the boys in charge had closed up their Potter Goldmine, thrown away the keys and gone home? Those business shrewdies at the black heart of Harry Potter for which Rowling is but the front? Bloomsbury, Schola...
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Funny story: Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

Conservative Party Manifesto 2015

(Or, actually what Cameron meant to say but didn't, being the gentleman that he is and everything.) "Over the last five years, we have placed our country, according to our business partners' demands, in the U.S. and elsewhere, under total bureaucr...
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Funny story: Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Unfortunately we at URFKD Magazine were unable to meet with the UK Prime Minister David Cameron as planned. It seems he had more important engagements. However, here is a list of questions we were hoping to ask. (1) Given the fact that you are goi...
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Funny story: England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

England ban smoking in cars (Well suck my exhaust!)

CIA HQ reporting from a dilapidated council flat in downtown Moss Side, Manchester - Newsflash: Smoking in cars to be banned in England! CIA health reporter, Ciggy Tarlung-Woodbine, has sent this report from the back of a Ford Cortina with a smokey past parked up in Moss Side, a no-go-smoke-free-zone The ministry of health has decided to ban smoking in cars in England from October 2015, they...
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Funny story: England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

England Begins to Pay Concessions to Scotland

Glasgow, Scotland As part of the agreement made to keep Scotland in the United Kingdom, the British Royal Family arrived in Glasgow today dressed in kilts, reciting Robert Bruce poetry and playing bagpipes. "I am told the family is especially war...
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Funny story: Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

Britons Vote Out Prince Charles as Next King

London, England In a strongly anticipated move, the entire British Commonwealth voted to bypass Prince Charles in favor of his son, Prince William. "Charles is just so stodgy, he will have the whole British Empire asleep before he is even half-way...
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Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...
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Funny story: England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

England Set To Vote Scotland Out of The Union - USA May Want To Consider Voting Out Georgia

The main UK party leaders are urging the English to campaign to have Scotland removed from the Union and to force Scottish people to stop calling themselves British. Prime Minister David Cameron and Labour leader Ed Miliband will abandon their wee...
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Funny story: Britain on the move

Britain on the move

England is to detach Scotland from it's seabed if voters choose in favour of independence at upcoming referendum. The plans which had been crudely scrawled on the back of a No.10 embossed napkin surfaced upon twitter this morning. They outline th...
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Funny story: England Win World Cup Of Smugness!

England Win World Cup Of Smugness!

Even with theIr football team facing an early exit from the World Cup, the English are celebrating a comfortable triumph at the World Cup of Smugness. With England creating more smug bastards per square mile than any other country in the world by...
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Funny story: Falkland Islands Debate To Be Settled This Friday.

Falkland Islands Debate To Be Settled This Friday.

Prime Minister of Britain David Cameron and the President of Argentina, Mrs. Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, are to meet this Friday to engage in a best of five game of Rock-paper-scissors for the undisputed ownership of the Falkland Islands. The...
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Funny story: Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Scotland's Impact on England's World Cup Attempt

Today the BBC reported on England's accommodation in Brazil. The rooms that the players will be staying in feature couches and mattresses that are HIV positive, Behind the hotel is a favella that resonates enough gunfire to ensure that none of the p...
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Speedo Makes Fashion Breakthrough with New HillBlimp Swimwear

Post Lohte,Speedo moves on with HillBlimp swimwear modeled by The Hillary. Made from new techno-sailcloth,HillBlimp pantsuit-swimwear can be worn at rallies with a quick amphib-option of sea dunking.
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