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Energy Efficient Lighting Improves Sex Lives of Medical Examiners

Funny story: Energy Efficient Lighting Improves Sex Lives of Medical Examiners

Since 1998 there has been a baby boom among medical examiners and coroners. This, according to experts, coincides with the increased use of CFL and LED lighting. Psychologist believe that the ghastly cyanotic hue of the skin under these lights allows...

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Mr. Boehner explains XL pipeline

Funny story: Mr. Boehner explains XL pipeline

Speaker of the House Mr. Boehner has shown some impatience with the Senate in refusing approval of the XL pipeline program. The controversy will return in January with the new Republican majorities in Congress, leaving a possible veto by President...

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Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

Funny story: Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

In a panicked response to Ed Miliband's popular policy of freezing energy prices, Prime Minister David Cameron today made an unscheduled visit to the House of Commons to announce a new personally endorsed initiative to solve his government's energy p...

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Quentin Kelp MP - A Wind Up

Dear Constituents Fresh from my work experience as an apprentice vicar at Krupton Parish Church and with the Conference season over for another year we can now focus on more important things such as re-election. My theme this week will be the looming power crisis and I have a solution that I think should guarantee me the necessary attention before the election and a Ministerial job soon...

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'Final Solution' for Energy Crisis

Funny story: 'Final Solution' for Energy Crisis

The government is set to scrap up to 10,000 wind turbines in favour of 2,000,000 exercise bikes to meet the countries future energy needs. Harking back to the workhouse, benefits will be scrapped and all able bodied scroungers will be encouraged...

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Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Funny story: Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers. "Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...

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Airbags Adding Safety to New Nuke Plants

Funny story: Airbags Adding Safety to New Nuke Plants

Augusta, Georgia -- An electric utility here is building the first new nuclear generating plants to be constructed in the US since 1978. Its safety secret: the use of giant, automotive type airbags to cushion and protect the facility from the destruc...

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How can 'garbageless' school lunches be eco-friendly? School Boards going on a Healthy Eating drive.

Funny story: How can 'garbageless' school lunches be eco-friendly? School Boards going on a Healthy Eating drive.

Eco Clubs are being encouraged in schools around Ontario. Teachers and students are encouraged to be eco-friendly. I have no problem with teaching children to look after their environment but I questioned the sanity of students being asked to bring 'garbageless' lunches on Fridays. Why? Because this is NOT actually helping the environment. The garbage still exists but it is in a different...

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Woolly Jumpers to be Deployed in New Battle Against the Evil Gas Barons of Scotland

Evil gas Barons in Scotland have just enraged the wrong person with their 20% gas price hike. That person is the multi-billion pound Woolly Jumper Philanthropist Donald McDonald. Donald was so enraged by the news that Gas prices are to rise for...

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Candle Shortage Next Big Crisis on Horizon

Funny story: Candle Shortage Next Big Crisis on Horizon

People all over the world are becoming increasingly worried about an imminent energy crisis. As a result, they are buying candles by the billions. Candle stores from Albuquerque to Zurich are selling out faster than they can make them. Wholesale dist...

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President Obama Proposes Rolling Energy Blackouts Across the US

Funny story: President Obama Proposes Rolling Energy Blackouts Across the US

In an address to the nation later on this week, President Obama will announce that the nation's dependence upon foreign oil and energy has placed the country in debt and that the best and most simple solution is to have rolling blackouts all winter a...

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Scientists Harness Power from Bad Journalism

Funny story: Scientists Harness Power from Bad Journalism

The world's energy problems might have been solved by a group of scientists in Oxford who have found a way to store power released by bad journalism. The twin calamities of tautologies (an unnecessary repetition of meaning using different words) a...

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President Signs Climate-Energy Bill

Funny story: President Signs Climate-Energy Bill

In an effort to stem global warming, curb greenhouse gas emissions and to address growing water shortages, President Barack Obama singed into law a bill proposing landmark legislation that will affect the way most Americans live. The president add...

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Aurora Borealis To Be Switched Off At Night

Funny story: Aurora Borealis To Be Switched Off At Night

Doris Johnson, Mayor of Olde London Towne, today announced the latest measure in a raft of measures designed to combat the energy crisis and slow down global warming. "We'll turn off the Aurora Borealis at night for a bully off," she told a packed...

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Iowa Woman claims Boyfriend solved Worlds Energy Crisis from his farts

Funny story: Iowa Woman claims Boyfriend solved Worlds Energy Crisis from his farts

Francesca Delaney, an Iowa woman who has had more than her share of fame recently, has now claimed her boyfriend, Zeb Johanson, has solved the world energy crisis. Apparently Mr. Johanson captures his self produced methane, (i.e. farts) and pumps it...

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Energy crisis over, Obese to the rescue!

Funny story: Energy crisis over, Obese to the rescue!

In a surprise and innovative initiative announced today by the G7 economic countries, plans are at an advanced stage to offer initiatives to the obese to undergo liposuction. Scientists have discovered that human fat is 12.8 times more energy effi...

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Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

Funny story: Bitch can't afford batteries for her vibrator due to bad economy

The current state of the economy is a major turnoff for 21-year-old local resident Jenna Buzzins. The freak used to go through two 8-packs of Energizer AAA batteries a week, and much like the Energizer Bunny, she'd keep going and going… Now she's for...

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High Gas Prices turning everyone into stingy, real-life Monopoly Players

Funny story: High Gas Prices turning everyone into stingy, real-life Monopoly Players

It appears the recent surge in gas prices have not only diminished people's checking accounts, but their personalities as well. People are increasingly becoming more selfish with their money, and in particular, their cars. My best friend of 10 yea...

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Breaking news…

Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.
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