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Funny satire stories about E-Coli

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Germans Admit E-Coli Outbreak Source Mistake

Funny story: Germans Admit E-Coli Outbreak Source Mistake

German authorities are today rushing to cover-up an error relating to the latest E-Coli outbreak . It was announced earlier this week that the worst E.Coli outbreak in living memory had been traced to a bacterium found in noodles produced in Germany.

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German E.coli Invade Poland - France Next!

Funny story: German E.coli Invade Poland - France Next!

Officials in European capitols are in a near panic today as German E.coli have crossed the border into Poland in an sudden and unprovoked attack. "Nearly every toilet in the country has been destroyed," said Alphonsus Liguori, a plumber in Warsaw...

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German Health Minister Sacked After E Coli Blunder

Funny story: German Health Minister Sacked After E Coli Blunder

Germany's health minister Daniel Bahr has been sacked after making a horrendous blunder prior to a press briefing on the current e coli situation. Bahr was to be giving a keenly awaited update on the crisis that had led to various produce, includi...

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British tourist board issue a warning to travellers to Europe

Funny story: British tourist board issue a warning to travellers to Europe

The British tourist board have finally issued a warning to all holiday makers heading for Europe in the next few weeks, especially those thinking of journeying to the Rhine Valley, a tour of the war memorials or a city break to a broken city. "Bas...

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Bavarian Illuminati blamed as E.Coli mutant traced to Plutonium-210 lab

Funny story: Bavarian Illuminati blamed as E.Coli mutant traced to Plutonium-210 lab

Munich - The secret society's Germ(an) warfare wing has been caught cooking up a lethal new recipe to deal with Euroseptics (sick). Traces of the homegrown genetically modified Eco Lie bacteria have been sourced to a new batch of Plutonium-210, co...

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Nuke the cukes says Iran's Ahmadinejad

Funny story: Nuke the cukes says Iran's Ahmadinejad

Iran - Germ(an) warfare specialists said today the Iran President may have ordered the immediate destruction of the West's filthy killer veg. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has rubbished the EU's E.Coli claims after pointing out the bacteria's abbreviated na...

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Cucumber Battle Rages but Give Peas a Chance

Funny story: Cucumber Battle Rages but Give Peas a Chance

In response to the current E-Coli tainting of fresh vegetables across Europe, American Snap Pea producers with bumper crops are offering to ship much of their freshly picked surplus to Europe. "They're great sources of vitamins A and C, with a tou...

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E. Coli Outbreak Kills Millions, Trillions, Quadrillions

Funny story: E. Coli Outbreak Kills Millions, Trillions, Quadrillions

GENEZA, SWITZ. - The World Health Organisation (WHO) have declared the E.Coli strain found in cucumbers to be 'some new crazy shit'. Already, tabloid papers have reported deaths in European countries to have reached the millions that they foresaw,...

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European Cucumber E-Coli Source Found and Resolved

Funny story: European Cucumber E-Coli Source Found and Resolved

World Health Organization teams quickly deployed out to farms and packaging plants to determine the source of the tainted tubers, and have reported a successful intervention in the inspection, cleaning and packaging methods of at least two major fres...

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California Passes Law Banning Hamburgers

Funny story: California Passes Law Banning Hamburgers

Sacramento, CA - In yet another nation-leading move, the California Senate has passed Bill 1535 banning hamburgers in California. Fast food restaurants have until September to close their doors or change their menus to remove any hamburger food i...

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New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

Funny story: New Health Scare As Man Chokes On Mars Bar

After the recent Foot & Mouth, E-Coli and Legionnaires Disease outbreaks, a new scare has this morning raised calls from health officials for a total ban on Mars Bars.

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The Nation Mourns as Michael Parkinson contracts E-Coli.

Funny story: The Nation Mourns as Michael Parkinson contracts E-Coli.

Veteran chat show host Michael Parkinson was last night said to be "bearing up" after contracting the bacterial infection Escherichia coli. Sycophant Parkinson is thought to have picked up the infection from a piece of faecal matter caught...

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Green Onions Cause Taco Bell E-Coli Outbreak

Funny story: Green Onions Cause Taco Bell E-Coli Outbreak

The cause of the Taco Bell E-Coli outbreak has been traced to green onions possibly imported from Mexico. In response, the fast food chain has pulled all onions from all of its United States locations. Chemical analysis of the product shows traces...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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