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Funny satire stories about Drug Cartels

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Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Officials at the US Department of Commerce endorsed the largest merger in corporate history by rubber-stamping the paperwork prior to returning it to the roll in the toilet stall at the lavatory down the hall. The amalgamation involved the acquis...

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Drug Cartels Trick Of Sending Young Kids Across U.S. Border Successfully Fools Guards

Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves. "The operation was a total success!" states Juan Cokefetcher...

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Scientists Discover That Potheads Cannot Recognize Connection Between Their Stash And Murderous Drug Cartels.

Funny story: Scientists Discover That Potheads Cannot Recognize Connection Between Their Stash And Murderous Drug Cartels.

Scientists have finally proven that there is a big disconnect in the minds of those heavily into pot. It has been long suspected that marijuana use has negative effects upon the brains and bodies of partakers, a claim equally long denied by the users...

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Mexican drug lord escapes death twice; maybe the third time will be the charm

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican Drug lord Nazario Moreno was killed again on Sunday, when federal forces shot him during a firefight. It was the second time since 2010 that the bandito was killed by authorities. "He is persistent for a dead man," a...

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Flow of Guns to Mexico Leaves Too Few Guns for U. S. Carnage

Funny story: Flow of Guns to Mexico Leaves Too Few Guns for U. S. Carnage

Gun enthusiasts say the millions of guns that flow across the border illegally for use by drug cartels in their war against the Mexican government must stop if mass killers in the U.S. are to reach the success level they're capable of. "Right now...

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US Breathes a Sigh of Relief over Bus Crash that Killed 30, No Guns Were Involved

Funny story: US Breathes a Sigh of Relief over Bus Crash that Killed 30, No Guns Were Involved

A bus speeding northbound on Route 85 heading into Albuquerque, New Mexico lost control and careened off the highway, flipped over a guardrail and rolled down a steep embankment before coming to rest upside down at the bottom of a ravine. The bus re...

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New Obama Campaign to Drive "Opposition" Voters from America

Funny story: New Obama Campaign to Drive "Opposition" Voters from America

WASHINGTON, DC - In May 2012, billionaire Eduardo Saverin made the news by renouncing his US citizenship; however, he is not alone. Since President Obama took office, the number of Americans leaving the country in 2011 was more than 600% higher than...

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The Zeta drug cartel resorts to random fear

Funny story: The Zeta drug cartel resorts to random fear

The Zeta drug cartel released a statement this Saturday that they will stop harming innocent by standards if the police stay away from their drug operations. They are taking responsibility for training and releasing pit bulls on the streets in New...

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UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

Funny story: UN declare parts of the UK no-go drug Ganglands!

The UN have officially declared certain areas of the UK suburbs of LA. It seems that these "no-go" areas are homing "Homies" of drug gangs and cartels similar to their parent gangs in the US and especially LA. Here are just a few of the friendly b...

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The Zeta Cartel Strike Back With a Vengeance

Funny story: The Zeta Cartel Strike Back With a Vengeance

The Zeta Cartel sent a letter to a Colorado police station in Granada, claiming responsibility for the death of 21 people who died of listeria contamination found in cantaloupes. The Zeta Cartel mailing was sent to the police stamped with double...

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Mexican government finally admit they have lost control

Funny story: Mexican government finally admit they have lost control

The Mexican government has finally acknowledged that it has lost control of the country and that drug cartels are now running the once proud nation. The Mexican president, Felipe Calderón, in an announcement beamed live across Mexico stated that h...

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The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico

Funny story: The Los Angeles Dodgers File For Chapter 11 Bankruptcy - They May End Up Moving South of The Border To Mexico

LOS ANGELES - The popular refrain of "Play ball!" may no longer be heard around DodgerLand. Team owner Frank "Excedrin Headache" McCourt has had to file Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and has stated that he will not be able to pay the players come pay day...

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Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

Funny story: Mexican drug cartels running out of room to store cash

MEXICO CITY, Mexico - A confidential source, Mr. X, with close ties to the Mexican drug cartels here, has revealed that it is becoming difficult to find new places to stuff bills. "The cartels blame QE2. They say it is resulting in too much money...

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Yucatan's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel Issues A Stern Warning To Topeka's Fanatical Westburro Atheist Church

Funny story: Yucatan's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel Issues A Stern Warning To Topeka's Fanatical Westburro Atheist Church

COZUMEL, Mexico - The Cozumel Cha Cha Cha Times is reporting that the Green Guacamole Drug Cartel, which is based in Tulum, Yucatan, Mexico has just ended a three day seminar and convention in the resort town of Cozumel. Pablo Pedro Salsa De Fuego...

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'Narcocorridos'- Dramatic Ditties Describing Dastardly Drug Cartel Doings

Funny story: 'Narcocorridos'- Dramatic Ditties Describing Dastardly Drug Cartel Doings

As though things weren't bad enough in Mexico with the war between the Army and the drug cartels, the drug dealers make up songs to glorify themselves. Known as 'narcocorridos', these ditties attempt to give honor and substance to their lives of narcotic running and selling (see the October issue of National Geographic). The songs were invented to give their sordid lives a higher, though...

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Mexican drug dealers have control over New York City

Funny story: Mexican drug dealers have control over New York City

Police authorities believe that a crime lord from Sinaloa, Mexico is behind the dumping of four bodies alongside a deserted parkway at a beach on New York's Long Island. "We have evidence that points to the fact that a serial killer is being used...

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Mexican Gangs Kill Americans, Misunderstanding Obama's "Punish Enemies" Remark

Funny story: Mexican Gangs Kill Americans, Misunderstanding Obama's "Punish Enemies" Remark

EL PASO, TEXAS - The unintended consequences of Obama's "punish our enemies" remark to Hispanics may be the murder of five Americans in Mexico in the course of a week. Journalists familiar with Mexican drug cartels and human trafficking on the border...

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Sean Hannity Says That He Is Not Afraid Of The South of The Border Drug Cartels

Funny story: Sean Hannity Says That He Is Not Afraid Of The South of The Border Drug Cartels

JONESBORO, Arkansas - Sean Hannity was in Jonesboro visiting the city that is known as The Cornbread Capital of The World. As he toured The Ma and Pa Kettle Cornbread Factory, he was asked about the alleged threats that one of Mexico's top drug ca...

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Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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