Afghanistan - Remote controlled British drones armed with genetically modified aphids are being deployed for the first time over the Tora Bora in operations targeting Afghani opium production.
Billions of GM bugs capable of munching their own body...
Asia-Pacific - Launched in 1998 by the 33rd US President's daughter Margaret when North Korean nutjob Kim Jong-un was still a mere festering pimple on his father Kim Jong Very-Ill-Indeed's backside the Nimitz-class supercarrier is Guam bound ahead o...
Sent From My Y-phone
Washington, DC
POTUS will momentarily begin speaking to assembled reporters here in the Rose Garden.
POTUS is walking to the podium with the Nuclear Football. He opens it and takes out a big red push-button with an antenna sticking out of it and sets the red button on top of the podium. Is he Fkng crzy ?
"Good afternoon everyone. Lester, that includes you too. I be...
President Obama addressed assembled reporters in the Rose Garden today.
I have just sent American troops on a vacation to Niger. And while there they will be changing that country's name to one that accurately reflects its true beauty and greatness. One that brings to mind thoughts of wonderful people living in a land flowing with milk and honey-nuts.
We have been fighting a war for a long t...
The CIA admitted today that one of their Predator drone aircraft fired a missile and destroyed a Google autonomous Prius late last week.
According to anonymous CIA insiders, the drone had taken off from a secret airfield in Saudi Arabia when it...
Washington, DC -- Under growing criticism for using remote-controlled aircraft to hunt down and kill suspected terrorists, the Defense Department has transferred its top-secret aerial assassination program to the Mafia.
"Anybody got any complaints...
Washington - "It's still unclear which of the two crafts was on top doing the, er, inseminating," a spokesperson for US drone program architect John Brenner said today, "due to freak vibrational fallout interfering with satellite video recorders. Bu...
The White House announced today that the Obama administration will be working with TMZ in order to spy on celebrities. This decision came after President Obama was watching his favorite television show, TMZ, and heard that TMZ was looking for guest p...
Hezbollah have admitted to sending an unmanned drone over Israel. The paper aeroplane which was controlled by the "Breath of Allah" (or as the rest of us call it the wind) sailed gracefully over Israeli territory before being shot down by the Israeli...
In the face of criticism from the United Nations regarding the ongoing United States drone program in Pakistan, President Obama held a video press conference to reassure the Pakistani people, many of whom are reportedly too terrified to go about thei...
RAF Waddington, Lincolnshire, UK: Soon, consignments of Reaper drones will be arriving... As the Police State continues to pile more psychological pressure on its UK citizens, where the UK Government wants to know more and more about everybody, while at the same time the public are allowed to know less and less about them and their secret courts, now is the age of the DRONES!
Non-military dr...
An assassination attempt on the Prime Minister's life was at first suspected this afternoon as he was sitting in the Grandstand at Wimbledon's Centre Court watching today's men's singles tennis final taking place there.
Police bodyguards rushed t...
"Being president sounds glamorous," revealed a pensive Barack Obama during a rare private interview in the Oval Office yesterday, "but it's not all fun and games."
Obama went on to express how difficult it has been for him to keep track of what he...
President Barack Obama is personally responsible for managing a "kill list" of people targeted for assassination by the American government - no small task. In addition, it's Obama's job to personally approve any additions to the list.
At a pres...
Washington DC: The Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA) reported that Iran had shot down an unmanned US surveillance drone. A US government official Athena Papadakis blamed a malfunction for the drone making a soft landing, while flying over Fordo Ira...
Tehran, Iran - A devastating explosion that leveled a missile firing range near Iran's capital city was caused by a waffle iron, rather than by sabotage which had first been feared.
The appliance short-circuited during a ballistics test, igniting...
Last week was a historical moment for assassinations, as the US shot a missile at it's first US citizen, Omar al Awlaki. Jay Carney, the white house press secretary, claimed that this was the first of many actions that will make America more American...
NEW YORK - Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) #5987-D/A, a Boeing Tracer, was ejected from the US Army in February after several months of tireless work scouting areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan in several surveillance operations.
It still hasn't gott...