Chandler, AZ - Dick Weede, spokesperson for Goober ride service, announced today the firing of all their human drivers, at a small press conference at Chandler Fashion Center. “We solved the last issues with self-driving cars. We used to have to...
Cody Gray of Nashville, Tennessee, had an unfortunate habit of having just a little - okay, a lot – too much to drink and then recklessly driving himself home. He’d never had an accident or been stopped by the police, but in the back of his mind, he...
Tiger Woods may be out of the Voyager Tournament as details are emerging in the DUI arrest of the golfing legend: Apparently Woods was passed out and stalled in the fast lane of Intergalactic Highway Q451 West. Intergalactic Highway Police respond...
Santa Claus has been detained after flying his sleigh under the influence, it has been reported. Claus, aged 1,744, from the North Pole, was intercepted by American jets and forced to land at Thule Air Base in the Qaasuitsup region of Northern Gre...
WHEN PIGS FLY, NJ - Police officers are famous for their fondness for doughnuts, and, recently, one of Winslow Township's finest showed his appreciation of the sweets in dramatic fashion--by ramming his cruiser--actually, an SUV--through the front wi...
A Marshall County, WV, woman has been charged with DUI-Stone Ass Dead Drunk after she registered a 100 percent blood alcohol content. "That's really well over the BAC limit, about ... well, a whole helluva lot over the limit," said Sheriff Kevin C...
New York - There's something running in the Kennedy family's veins other than blood a court in White Plains, New York heard today as Robert F Kennedy's daughter Kerry pleaded Not Guilty to drug driving and other vehicle related stuff. The 50-some...
New York - Documents lodged with the Westchester County District Attorney's Office show a 'temporarily insane' plea bargain is being considered by the human frights lawyer whose drug driving case begin this Monday. Kerry Kennedy is charged with v...
Miami Beach cops claim Justin Bieber was drag racing and drunk, which caused his arrest. But Sgt. Joe "Pinocchio Nose" Soprano and his partner Elsie "Balls" Saunders of the beach police have confessed to looking for a reason to stop the controversia...
CHICAGO - America's Talk Show Queen, Oprah Winfrey has said that the little pop singer Justin Bieber needs to realize that he is getting real close to self-imploding. Winfrey talking with Durango Tucker of National Focus Magazine said that the lit...
Derek Acorah, the world's most famous grey haired psychic has been arrested for suspicion of driving whilst under the influence, something that he has embraced. "Derek has stated to the police that he was under the influence of spirits whilst driv...
The DUI Gazette - Instead of sitting politely and waiting for the police officer to reach her automobile, (after being stopped by the officer's flashing lights and sirens for driving on the wrong side of the street) Reese Witherspoon leaned out of th...
CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey, regarded by many as the Queen of Talk Shows, still likes to flex her telecasting muscles every now and then. Winfrey speaking from her home in The Windy City stated that Reese Witherspoon needs to stop acting like she is a...
ATLANTA - Reese Witherspoon is still in hiding due to extreme embarrassment over her recent arrest due to her disorderly conduct. A spokesperson for Ms. Witherspoon identified as Tucker "Bubba" Frattficker, stated that the actress wanted her famil...
For the last three days straight Lindsay Lohan did nothing bad. She didn't threaten her own freedom by lying, stealing or driving while under the influence. She was low key. Wall Street Investors and Las Vegas book makers were shocked and appalle...
Two people have been seriously injured with dozens more left bruised and shaken after two lines of conga dancers collided head-on outside a pub in Loughton, Essex just after midnight. The collision, at Loughton's 'The Red Lion' public house occur...
Westchester, New York - A karmic twist has slammed the brakes on top Opus Dei apologist for Ecuador's so-called Justice [sic] Ministry who appeared before a judge on DUI charges today. Kerry Kennedy, 52, is accused of fleeing the scene of an accid...
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