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Funny satire stories about Dora Cattermole

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Funny story: Lord Lucan Arrested In Worthing

Lord Lucan Arrested In Worthing

WORTHING: Armed police stormed onto the pier at lunchtime today and arrested a 76 year old pensioner, believed to be Lord 'Lucky' Lucan. "We finally caught up with him on the fruit machines," claimed DCI Bob Barnowl of Worthing CID. "He's bee...
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Funny story: Sun on Sunday Fiasco As Love-God Alf Starling Weds Dora Cattermole

Sun on Sunday Fiasco As Love-God Alf Starling Weds Dora Cattermole

WORTHING: According to illegally hacked telephone information, 104 year old Casanova, Alf Starling, has surprisingly made an honest woman out of his 86 year old drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend, Dora Cattermole. Unreliable sources in Mexico, report...
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Funny story: London Fashion Week Honours Dora Cattermole

London Fashion Week Honours Dora Cattermole

Vivienne Westwood spoke out on behalf of the British Fashion industry today, when she singled out 86 year old Dora Cattermole as the one woman who put the "S" into London Style. London Fashion Week pays homage to Dora Cattermole tomorrow, when Wor...
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Funny story: Arsene Wenger Takes Shock Worthing Sabbatical

Arsene Wenger Takes Shock Worthing Sabbatical

Beleaguered Arsenal manager, Arsene Weger, humiliated in Milan last week and yesterday powered out of the FA Cup by resurgent Sunderland, left London early this morning for a south coast getaway. Wenger caught the 8.52am train to Worthing - headin...
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Funny story: Bitter Dora Cattermole Hits Back At BBC Boss Mark Thompson

Bitter Dora Cattermole Hits Back At BBC Boss Mark Thompson

Worthing diva, Dora Cattermole, lashed out today at BBC boss Mark Thompson after he finally admitted there are not enough older women on television. Cattermole, leading lady with the Goring-on-Sea Light Operatic Society, was set to become the face...
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Funny story: Curvaceous Adele Seeks Comfort With Alf Starling

Curvaceous Adele Seeks Comfort With Alf Starling

The slightly chubby yet devastatingly beautiful popstrel, Adele, rushed down to Worthing this morning to fall into the comforting arms of Viagra-addicted Casanova, Alf Starling. Tearful Adele was reeling from an unprovoked accusation by top fashio...
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Funny story: Alf Starling Advises The Queen & Prince Philip To Stay In Bed

Alf Starling Advises The Queen & Prince Philip To Stay In Bed

Worthing Casanova, 104 year old Alf Starling, sent an urgent message to Queen Elizabeth and her husband, Prince Philip, last night, advising them to stay tucked-up in bed during the cold weather. "Hypothermia is a killer of old people," he annou...
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Funny story: Ed Miliband Promises Dora Cattermole A Damehood

Ed Miliband Promises Dora Cattermole A Damehood

WORTHING: Labour leader, Ed Miliband, wrapped his arms around beautiful Goring-on-Sea opera star, Dora Cattermole, this morning and promised he'd make her a Dame. Popular Miliband, on a whistle-stop tour of the critical seaside marginal, stumbled...
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Funny story: "Alf Starling Pinched My Vajazzles" Claims Aishwarya Rai

"Alf Starling Pinched My Vajazzles" Claims Aishwarya Rai

Bollywood diva, Aishwarya Rai, has accused Worthing Casanova, Alf Starling, of running off with her vajazzle display. Speaking to a crowd of sympathetic journalists and paparazzi, broken hearted Ms Rai claimed that Starling had disappeared with he...
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Funny story: "I'll Stand By Chris Huhne" - Says Dora Cattermole

"I'll Stand By Chris Huhne" - Says Dora Cattermole

Worthing diva, Dora Cattermole, pledged to stand by Chris Huhne today after he resigned as Energy Secretary in order to clear his name. Ms Cattermole, mezzo soprano star of the Goring on Sea Light Operatic Society, announced that Huhne now needed...
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Funny story: Crystal Warren Rates Casanova Alf Starling No 1 In Bed

Crystal Warren Rates Casanova Alf Starling No 1 In Bed

Sex addict Crystal "Bunny" Warren, who claims to have bedded over a thousand men, announced this morning that Alf Starling was easily the best. "I spent a night with Worthing Wizard Mr Starling just before he flew to Cabo San Lucas for a fling wit...
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Funny story: "Sir Fred Goodwin Pinched My Pippa": Claims Worthing's Minnie Farthing

"Sir Fred Goodwin Pinched My Pippa": Claims Worthing's Minnie Farthing

Worthing landlady, 87 year old Minnie Farthing, today accused disgraced banking boss, Fred Goodwin, of making a cheeky move on her voluptuous posterior. "Ten years ago I was queuing-up at the Worthing branch of the Royal Bank of Scotland when I fe...
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Funny story: Dora Cattermole Invites Banker Fred Goodwin To Worthing Ceilidh

Dora Cattermole Invites Banker Fred Goodwin To Worthing Ceilidh

Opera singing love goddess, Dora Cattermole, has invited disgraced banker, Fred Goodwin, to Worthing this weekend for a knees-up in a B&B overlooking the promenade. Diva Dora, the on-off squeeze of 104 year old Viagra addicted Casanova, Alf St...
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Funny story: Prince Philip & Dora Cattermole : The Inside Story

Prince Philip & Dora Cattermole : The Inside Story

Worthing diva, Dora Cattermole, the 84 year old mezzo soprano star of the Goring-on-Sea Light Operatic Society, revealed today what the rest of us have known for years: that she once practised 'hip-bingo' with Prince Philip. Ms Cattermole, the o...
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Funny story: Cougar Dora Cattermole Dumps Harry Styles In Cabo San Lucas

Cougar Dora Cattermole Dumps Harry Styles In Cabo San Lucas

Worthing man-eater, Dora Cattermole, has taught One Direction brat, Harry Styles, a lesson in love he'll never forget. Ms Cattermole, the opera singing on-off squeeze of Casanova, Alf Starling, invited Styles for three days of solid 'Hip Bingo' in...
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Funny story: Alf Starling, Selena Gomez & Dora Cattermole To Star In "And Mother Makes Three"

Alf Starling, Selena Gomez & Dora Cattermole To Star In "And Mother Makes Three"

HOLLYWOOD: Union Atlantic Pictures announced today that Worthing Casanova, Alf Starling, has signed to star with veteran Goring-on-Sea actress Dora Cattermole, and teen sensation, Selena Gomez, in Harold Pinter's late stage masterpiece "And Mother...
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Funny story: Dora Cattermole Invites Robert Pattinson For Nookie In Cabo San Lucas

Dora Cattermole Invites Robert Pattinson For Nookie In Cabo San Lucas

Worthing strumpet, Dora Cattermole, the on-off squeeze of Casanova, Alf Starling, has asked vampire actor, Robert Pattinson, to join her for a weekend knees-up and non-stop 24 hour "Hip-Bingo" in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. "I've always believed me an...
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Funny story: Alf Starling Invites Aishwarya Rai To Join Him In Cabo San Lucas

Alf Starling Invites Aishwarya Rai To Join Him In Cabo San Lucas

Handsome Worthing Casanova, Alf Starling, is off on his travels again, hoping to hook up with Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai for a midweek romp in the Mexican sand. "Take a tip from the experts", whispered Starling from his private deckchair on...
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George Zimmerman, who got off on shooting Trayvon Martin in stand your ground Florida, has announced he is on his way to help Darren Wilson, the Missouri cop who shot Michael Brown.

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