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Funny story: Dolphins call each other dirty names

Dolphins call each other dirty names

HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a report today that supports the long-suspected assumption that dolphins were really mean deep down inside. "Calling each other names is just the beginning," said Jan Vincent, instructor of marine scie...
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Funny story: Dolphins decide never to help humans again!

Dolphins decide never to help humans again!

Solomon Islands, today: The slaughtering of innocent dolphins continues unabated and if Japanese butcherers were not enough, Solomon Island inhabitants have also decided to cull innocent dolphins swimming in their shores. The dolphins have had en...
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Funny story: Near-sighted dolphin mistakes child for Honey Boo Boo and bites her!

Near-sighted dolphin mistakes child for Honey Boo Boo and bites her!

ORLANDO, Florida (ABSNN) - A dolphin named Sally bit a child who was feeding her in a tank at Orlando's Sea World Sunday. Police immediately arrested the dolphin who told them, "I'm so sorry! I'm so near-sighted, I thought the little girl was Honey...
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Funny story: Halifax to change its name

Halifax to change its name

Halifax, the post industrial town that sits near Huddersfield and Leeds on the M62, has applied to have its name changed. "Halifax is so last century," said town Mayor, Keith Bottlebottom. "We need a name for the twenty-first century." Halifax...
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Funny story: Dirty Limericks by Angry Feminist Lesbians

Dirty Limericks by Angry Feminist Lesbians

The Spoof's limericks column has been popular with lad readers, but criticism has come from certain other quarters over what some perceive as sexist elements. In the interest of fairness and constructive criticism we present what we are told will be a humorous and thoughtful rebuttal from Val-Grace MacDorkin, a prominent spokesperson on women's issues: You've come here for dirty humor, haven't...
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Funny story: Dolphin friendly foods hit the shops

Dolphin friendly foods hit the shops

Given the success of Dolphin Friendly Tuna, one particular food produce is joining the gravy train with Dolphin Friendly foods, such as Dolphin Friendly Gravy. "We've got a great range in Dolphin Friendly Carrots," said greengrocer Danielle Jerrou...
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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Unfortunate porpoise cannot be saved

Isle of Wight News - Unfortunate porpoise cannot be saved

Rescuers who attempted to rescue a stranded porpoise have come under intense criticism from animal rights activists for their methods in returning the unfortunate creature back out to sea. "The stranded porpoise was found on a beach near Brighston...
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Funny story: World's tallest man sought by Porn companies

World's tallest man sought by Porn companies

This week the world's tallest man, at 2.36m (7ft 8.95in) has saved two dolphins by using his long arms to reach into their stomachs and pull out dangerous plastic shards. Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun was called in after the dolphins swallowed pla...
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Funny story: Scientists Develop a Bilingual Dolphin Communication Device

Scientists Develop a Bilingual Dolphin Communication Device

Costa Rica - Two scientists have developed a device that will finally allow us to decipher and communicate with dolphins. Dr. Federico Barrera and Dr. Augustin Sanches-Guerrero developed the dolphin translator two summers ago. It has taken two year...
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Funny story: Scientists discover "balloonheaded" dolphins, they're not, they're aliens!

Scientists discover "balloonheaded" dolphins, they're not, they're aliens!

Scientists have discovered the fossil of what seems to be a dolphin with a "balloon head", well they're not actually dolphins, they are aliens! This particular type of "alien dolphin" was let loose by an alien warship 2 million years ago passing b...
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Funny story: Dolphins Are Rubber-necking A--holes, Just Like Humans

Dolphins Are Rubber-necking A--holes, Just Like Humans

Dolphin researchers are interested in reviewing footage taken of a dolphin leaping out of its holding cell during a July 4 marine show at Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium, in southwestern Japan. But not for the reason you'd think. "People think we wa...
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Funny story: Dolphins Prove To Be Smartest Creatures On Planet - Maybe They Are Studying Us.

Dolphins Prove To Be Smartest Creatures On Planet - Maybe They Are Studying Us.

New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo sapien. The Kiw...
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Funny story: Dolphin Receives ASBO

Dolphin Receives ASBO

The world's first mammalian ASBO has been served on a New Zealand dolphin. Moko, a thirteen year old boisterous bottle-nose has been stealing surf boards, stranding body boarders and generally annoying anyone who ventures into his 'manor'. Dete...
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Funny story: I don't want to swim with dolphins

I don't want to swim with dolphins

I like dolphins and I like swimming but I just don't want to put the two together. Intellectually, I have an inferiority complex when it comes to these sea mammals. Just give me something more stupid, like a sheep or a chicken and I'll swim with it. Or maybe goldfish. The American Navy used them to seek out sea mines so I suppose they were the first suicide bombers in a way. this is essentially a...
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Funny story: David Attenborough receives ASBO from dolphins

David Attenborough receives ASBO from dolphins

Sir David Attenborough, the face and voice of British natural history programmes, was left bewildered yesterday at having received an ASBO following filming of his new series "The lives of dolphins." As a result of an order he is banned from approach...
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Funny story: Giant Floating Turds to Blame for Beached Dolphins

Giant Floating Turds to Blame for Beached Dolphins

Marine biologists at Exeter University are developing a new theory for the mass beaching and subsequent deaths of Dolphins off the coast of Falmouth earlier this week. Scientists now suspect a flotilla of faeces discharged from a facility in Southam...
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Funny story: Dolphins Arrested After Lounging About On Beach

Dolphins Arrested After Lounging About On Beach

A school of dolphins found lounging about on a picturesque beach in Cornwall have been arrested by police and charged with being environmentally unfriendly. If convicted, the maximum sentence is death
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Funny story: Terrorist Dolphins Thwarted

Terrorist Dolphins Thwarted

A pod of dolphins specially trained by Al-Queda to swim up the river Thames failed in their attempts to explode outside the houses of parliament thanks to covert operations by MI6.
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Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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