NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown.
CEO, JD, stated that the rea...
Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed.
MUNICH - Hans Snortlebuntof, a well known artist in the city, has leaked to the press that he has constructed his next work of art, to be revealed Jan. 2, 2012, entirely out of 1000 Euro bills. Three tons of them.
According to investigative repor...
HARFOLD, Vt. - After reading for weeks that the euro promises to collapse, Americans in northern Vermont are growing impatient, unable to make a decision as to whether they'll travel to Europe in 2012.
"I need that sucker to go one-to-one," said S...
Washington, DC -- The US Treasury Department is introducing a program designed to stimulate the US economy from the bottom up. Called "Do-It-Yourself Dollars," the effort provides software American taxpayers can use to print their own cash.
"Now,...
Barry Obama, faced with the reality of an economic catastrophe which could cause him to be a one term President, initiated a crisis management call to former UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown seeking liquidity and re election advice.
(Ed. Note: you...
Tokyo - Speech expert Dr. Hotseetanuka is alarmed today at the sudden onset of stuttering that is afflicting "Nuclear Experts". Many such "experts" are being consulted today with regards to the nuclear catastrophe here.
Surprisingly, they are sud...
News out of Hollywood and Washington is that a new dollar bill that will feature sexy actress Megan Fox will replace the one with George Washington until the United States debt can be paid.
"With the US dollar getting lower by the day and the US g...
Washington DC, USA: US President Barack Obama unveiling plans for $7.2 trillion (£4.5 trillion) of deficit spending over the next decade, will test the bond markets with mega-deficits, whilst making little attempt to control the spiralling costs of...
Wall Street was in a panic early this morning when news leaked out from the People's Republic of China that the people there were dumping the United States dollar by the millions!
"We have too many dollars", stated one Hung Long. "Five trillion an...
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - David Hockey a 57-year-old Canadian man recently vacationed down in sunny Mexico with one of his seven life-like looking silicone dolls named Bianca.
Hockey, who says that his wife, who is a real biological woman, said tha...
After spending $120M to print brand new 'counterfeit proof' new $100 notes at twice the old price, the Treasury was forced to admit today they were scrapping all 1.1 Billion of them due to a printing error!
The error was not caught during the tre...
Washington, DC-- The Federal Reserve is working with Facebook to make some remarkable changes in the US economy. The Federal Reserve plans to replace the dollar with Facebook coins, beginning on January 1. The golden coins will replace the greenbac...
Standing proudly about as if they had done something, US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, Treasurer of the US Rosie Rios, and US Secret Service Deputy Director Keith Prewitt, today unveiled America's newest...
WASHINGTON DC - The Federal Reserve issued a warning through a special courier to me for world-wide publication to China, "Do not attempt to keep our currency".
As the note handed to me stated:
US currency is the property of the United States G...
WASHINGTON DC - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced to a small disparate pool of reporters today that due to the weak U.S. economy and labor market a new ten prong approach to placing money in the hands of Joe the Six-pack will be impleme...
BEJING China - Upon his arrival in China this evening, according to my source Noyen Tubuyca, Obambi declared that the US Treasury would issue its own currency independent of the Federal Reserve, the country of China, and the Bilberberg cabal.
The...
WASHINGTON DC - The Federal government, according to my confidential source in the White House, is about to recall all paper currency after a study by scientist Dr. Tim Gaferinioti concluded that paper currency in the United States is contaminated wi...