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Funny story: Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

Extend Your Shitty, Meaningless Existence With the Nutrirocket Food Extractor!

The Nutrirocket food extractor is the latest, most scientifically-proven way to extend one's painful, lost existence indefinitely. Thanks to the most innovative in 21st century euphemisms, we have magically turned a 40 dollar blender into a $120.00 (...
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Funny story: Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

Herbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit

We've all met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who clearly considers herself morally superior to everyone else on the planet. Well, the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch, by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a person's true vegan-ness, HARP takes into account...
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Funny story: Cream Wars - Clotted Cream Must Be Eaten in Cornwall and Not Taken Anywhere Else

Cream Wars - Clotted Cream Must Be Eaten in Cornwall and Not Taken Anywhere Else

An escalation in the Devon vs. Cornwall clotted cream wars was yesterday sparked off by 'Cornwall's Prince Charles's' announcement that he had won the war without a shot being fired. The pleasant but sickly Cornish Clotted Cream - made by boilin...
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Funny story: Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

Ten Simple Ways To Lose Weight Guaranteed!

These Top Ten Ways to lose weight are easy as falling off a log. (Guess I better take that one off). 1. Always sleep on a vibrating bed. 2. Go Over A Fence that has a warning sign, "Dozen Bulls Horny Here!" 3. Crap on your food. 4. Easiest Push-Ups! (Pushing Up Daisies) 5. Snack on salted packing peanuts! 6. When introducing yourself at 'Get Acquainted Singles Meet', "Hello, my n...
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Funny story: Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

Paleo Diet Is OUT! New "Socio Diet" Sweeps Nation

According to the latest buzz from health clubs and fitness gurus, the formerly wildly popular Paleo Diet has been supplanted by the new Sociopath or "Socio" Diet, which skyrockets meat-centric eating to new dimensions of amorality. Sources say the Socio Diet has particularly caught fire in high-power urban centers like New York City and Washington, D.C. Want to incorporate some "Socio" into you...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Wages War on Anorexia

Chris Christie Wages War on Anorexia

Some say that embattled New Jersey Governor has bitten off more than he can chew with his growing bridge scandal while some of his closest allies in Trenton have rallied around him and decided that he should go on the offensive by waging a war that h...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Flip Flopping Like A Fish

Chris Christie Flip Flopping Like A Fish

Atlas News say they got a sneak peak of a new video from the group against the possible presidential candidate and that it is coming out with the highlights. It shows Christie pledging support for in-state tuition for undocumented students at the...
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Funny story: 103rd Way to Die: McDonald's!

103rd Way to Die: McDonald's!

In Raleigh, North Carolina, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's to the birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat p...
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Funny story: Wynonna Judd Desperate To Lose Weight States She's Going To Go On The Celery Diet

Wynonna Judd Desperate To Lose Weight States She's Going To Go On The Celery Diet

NASHVILLE - Wynonna Judd was in Nashville working on her next album which is tentatively titled, Wynonna's New Album: Overweight And Proud To Boot. Judd said that the title of the album was her idea and not sister Ashley's like the supermarket tab...
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Funny story: Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use

Olympic officials have been asking themselves if Marijuana should be outright banned for all athletes who plan to participate in the Olympic games, now that it has become more accepted and legal in certain parts of the world. Speculation has risen...
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Funny story: Diet book causes crime spree in Nordic country

Diet book causes crime spree in Nordic country

Norway's standing as a peaceful and low crime country, has taken a severe hit after a new diet crazes has hit the country. The book "steel what you eat" has been on the bestseller list for two months and the effects can be felt in the otherwise q...
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Funny story: New Diet Involves Counting

New Diet Involves Counting

We've been told to count calories if we want to control our weight. But now we need to do even more counting, according to a new weight control strategy recommended by the specialist counting agency Counts 'R'Us. They say that if we expend exactly...
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Funny story: Survey reveals cannibals prefer to eat Brits

Survey reveals cannibals prefer to eat Brits

The world's first ever survey of the eating preferences of cannibals has revealed that British people are the nationality of choice to have for dinner. Nutritionist Wattle Ayeet said that it was obvious that most Britons would make a delicious mea...
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Funny story: Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Sexy, Bikini-Clad Body

Christina Aguilera Shows Off Her Sexy, Bikini-Clad Body

VENICE BEACH - Christina Aguilera has lost quite a bit of weight lately and she is not shy about letting people know it and showing it. Aguilera who was recently photographed on Venice Beach wearing one of the skimpiest, sexiest bikini swimsuits m...
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Funny story: Sarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings

Sarah Palin Says The Anorexic Rumors Are Nothing But Reindeer Droppings

WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that Sarah Palin feels like no one in the Lower 48 cares about her anymore. And according to recent polls the Moose Mama is absolutely right. Even her fellow Republican cronies and cohorts at FOX News made that ab...
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Funny story: Lady Gaga's New Year's Resolution

Lady Gaga's New Year's Resolution

NEW YORK CITY - All of the Times Square New Year's Eve confetti and streamers have long been swept away by the NYC sanitation workers and the fireworks smoke has dissipated out over the Nova Scotia coastline. And Lady Gaga once again has sat down...
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Funny story: Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera of the Voice appeared on the American Music Award Show and it was no secret that she has put on a bit of poundage. Miss Aguilera does not try to hide the fact, especially since anyone can physically see it. H...
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Funny story: George Lopez Says Kirstie Alley Needs To Go On The Tortilla Diet

George Lopez Says Kirstie Alley Needs To Go On The Tortilla Diet

LA HABRA - Comedian George Lopez was in La Habra checking on a low-rider that he saw in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle. As he was sitting in The Giggling Guacamole Restaurant he was approached by Pico de Gallo a reporter with Tittle Tattle Toni...
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Showing page 1 (of 11 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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