The Detroit Visitors' Bureau announced yesterday they have hired a five-person crew to erase murder victim chalk outlines around the city.
"We had nearly 350 murders last year and everywhere you went, there were chalk outlines. The cops don't b...
AMERICAN FORK UT (ABSNN) - Mitt Romney announced Saturday his plan to rid the US of 500,000 Muslims with the stroke of his Presidential pen. He plans to give to Canada the four US cities with the highest population of Muslims: Detroit (300,000), an...
As of August 31st of this year Detroit Michigan will be expelled from the United States and forced into exile. Government officials told us yesterday "Well come on. It's Detroit. Nobody wants Detroit."
With crimes rates in Motown being the highes...
DETROIT - The honorable Flodell McJefferson, mayor of the city of Detroit just received a fantastic text message.
Mayor Mack J, as the people of MoTown refer to him, spoke at a news conference and happily announced that the text message he had rec...
In an effort to further reduce the city's crime fighting budget, Detroit, Michigan, Mayor Donald Do-Little, has announced that the city will be furloughing crime to coincide with its limited police office hours. Only crimes committed between the hou...
DETROIT, Mi.--Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, on trial for trying to set fire to his underwear while on a Northwest Airlines flight, changed his pleas to guilty today.
The prosecution's' relief was, however, short-lived when it was learned that Abdulmu...
Banking on Detroit's decades old reputation for top quality and well organized sports event rioting, Vancouver Canucks fans angered over their loss in the Stanley Cup Finals, recruited some hard core Motor City fans to help organize those efforts.
DALLAS - The once proud Los Angeles Lakers are no more. Their coach Phil Jackson has retired and will head up to Montana where rumor has it he will spend his time counting sheep, branding sheep, and hitting sheep, since he won't have Pau Gasol around...
Charlie Sheen opened his "I'm out of a job and need a gig" comedy tour in Detroit to an unexpected but resounding set of audience initiated "Boos". Though Sheen offered a few carefully chosen four letter words about the city and his audience the foll...
DETROIT - Charlie Sheen, the man with no show, no real friends, and really no clue opened up the first stop of his Charlie Sheen's My Violent Winning Torpedo of Truth Vs. The Losing Trolls of Lies Tour before a sell out crowd of 4,300, 4,289 who were...
LONDON - Oprah Winfrey the richest woman in the United States was recently invited by Queen Elizabeth to attend a dinner at Buckingham Palace in honor of legendary rhythm and blues artist Smokey Robinson, lead singer with one of Motown's greatest groups Smokey Robinson and The Miracles.
The music legend who was born William Robinson, Jr., in Detroit has been performing for 55 years. And in that...
BROOKLYN - The head of the Brooklyn-based Goombalini Family, Salvatore "The Pizza Man" Goombalini was recently approached by a group of computer programmers from Detroit about a little problem they are having.
The group headed by Gino Stashafini,...
The Detroit Lions announced that there will be no charge for admission when Detroit's Ford Edsel Field hosts the postponed game between the New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings at 7:20 p.m. Monday.
The game, originally scheduled for Sunday, had t...
Rare weather patterns and unseasonably warm temperatures will be responsible for a convergence of two storm systems today, where sustained winds are expected to reach more that 60 miles per hour.
Local authorities are preparing for the worst, give...
There was panic in Detroit today after a 400,000 square foot Chrysler manufacturing plant, and 6 surrounding square blocks were evacuated after what turned out to be a plethora of Beer Farts caused the evacuation and mass hysteria.
The noxious fum...
DETROIT, Michigan -- Scientists have discovered what appears to be the first known black hole resting near the automotive center of the Milky Way Galaxy. It apparently resides in a region known as the Big Three Halo, a vast sphere of sparsely populat...
DETROIT - The little girl who wants to be a big girl real bad and her new friend Taylor Lautner were reportedly in Detroit, aka MoTown hanging out and letting it all hang out.
Miley who has pole danced, lap danced, and gone knicker-less in the pas...
Early Wednesday in Detroit, Michigan it was reported that Keyshaun Williams was arrested on charges that stemmed from his continual "lack of swag." Wayne County Prosecutor Kym L. Worthy was adamant in her defense of the arrest
"Detroit is known ar...