Idiot Wayne Badger, who famously bankrupted himself by buying a rare £200,000 Rolex rather than a house has asked how Father Dougal from factual documentary Father Ted is now a highly regarded, and charming detective in the documentary Death in Parad...
The wind blew through the windy city. This was Chicago, the windy city. In his office off one of those run down streets near a rather violent neighbourhood, Frankie D sat at his desk sipping sour mash whiskey and hummed one of those classic old tunes; Y.M.C.A. by the village people.
A letter had arrived from Ohio and its content had him worried, it was written in Mandarin. Was it a threat from...
Shylock Humes woke with a start Mrs Hudson had dropped the breakfast tray on him again.
"Ooh beg pardon Eric, I tripped on the half rug" sighed Mrs Hudson.
"Never call me Eric Maude, you never know who is listening" warned Shylock.
"I didn't know your name was Eric" said a voice from the wardrobe.
Quick as a flash, Shylock leapt from his bed and grabbed his gun, Mrs Hudson grabbed her...
Miss Marple adjusted the truss and made her way into the dining hall. The people she had invited to dinner were seated by the butler in advance of her arrival, a little ruse Marple used to relax her guests and give them a false sense of security. It never failed she had nailed many a criminal in this fashion. Give them a hearty meal, a few drinks, and the barrier comes down.
Lord Butty and Dr W...
Inspector Corner, Detective Pong, Sergeant Hump and Constable Hall had all journeyed from Scotland Yard in the special Ford Anglia overhead camshaft pursuit vehicle, in response to a call from Sussex Constabulary about an exploding butler.
The Ford Anglia had a synchromesh gearbox and vacuum-powered windscreen wipers and it was a remarkable vehicle. It inspired many remarks, especially when peo...
When I opened my eyes I saw red coals, licking flames. My left leg was burning. Above me, giant faces loomed; they were contorted hideously. Had I truly descended to hell?
I had not. I looked about me. I was in the sitting room at 221b Candlestick Maker Street. The faces were those of Inspector Stanley Livingstone Stanley and - my God! - could it really be my friend Shylock Humes? I moaned, an...
Stewart: When's he going to get here?
Tracy: I don't know.
Stewart: Soon, you think?
Tracy: I don't know I said. He'll get here.
Stewart: It's been hours since you sent for him.
Tracy: He'll get here.
Stewart: He's big.
Tracy: He's big.
Stewart: It all started with the Rockefeller Christmas tree case, didn't it?
Tracy: It did.
Stewart: Before my time.
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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An original metaphor:
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