WASHINGTON, DC - "Let me tell you: the Irish know more than a useful thing or two about the infamous butt burp, and that's saying something!" said U.S. Vice-President Joe Biden while speaking from the podium in his eulogy to fallen MIT police off...
LOS ANGELES, CA - Move over, Gwyneth Paltrow! The controversial "actress" and avowed herbivore was recently bestowed with the title of People Magazine's 'Most Attractive Woman' for 2013. Now, the magazine that defines the standards of the glamor li...
WASHINGTON, DC - In a bold attempt to silence his critics, U.S. President Barack Obama delivered a nine-and-one-half minute bout of non-stop maniacal laughter during this past Tuesday evening's "State of the Union" address. The laughter - te...
Washington DC - Fast on the heels of his 'Wet T-Shirt' fundraiser in support of a woman's right to choose, Vice-President Joe Biden is continuing his campaign to explore America's moral convictions with the announcement of a celebrity 'keg mixer' to...
CARMEL, California - Ever since his appearance at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, back in August, Clint Eastwood has been keeping pretty much of a low profile.
The legendary star of TVs western series Rawhide, the Italian mot...
In a move that represents a surprising although logical extension of the current demand by the 99% for a more progressive tax system, the Obama administration has proposed a beauty tax that will be built into the new health care system. In the searc...
It's all about having fun until somebody loses an eye!
I wrote a few days back that I'd lived through every Presidential election since Dwight Eisenhower's in 1951. Granted, I was not aware of anything more than my momma's nipple and my shitty diapers for that first election; but by the time Ike's successor John F. Kennedy ran in 1959, I'd heard all about Republicans and Democrats. My dad was...
Mitt Romney, the Republican candidate for president in the 2012 Presidential Election spoke with a frenzied crowd at a pep rally early Friday morning.
While speaking with his supporters, Romney attempted to pump up the crowd by explaining 2nd plac...
Pizmo Beach Pennsyltucky: Philbert of Macadamia and Mrs. Philbert went on a two week vacation to Tampa FL and Charlotte NC as delegates to the Republican National Convention (RNC) and Democratic National Convention (DNC), respectively.
No surprise that the Republican Party nominee was to be Presidential challenger Mitt Romney and the Democratic Party nominee was to be President Barack Obama for...
The U.S. Senators gathered for today's floor debate unexpectedly and unintentionally broke out into verse in the middle of their proceedings. The following is the official Congressional transcript of what occurred.
CONGRESSIONAL RECORD
PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION
WASHINGTON, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 2012
SENATE
MORNING BUSINESS
The Senate met at 10...
Jesus stunned politicians with a surprise appearance and a short speech at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Wednesday afternoon.
He talked about how U.S. government and politicians have to rediscover true values...
The United States House of Representatives has recently conducted a bipartisan vote to abolish all forms of satire within the country in a move clearly designed to belie the widely held notion that Congress is the place where good ideas go to die. The following are transcripts from the subcommittee hearing and floor debate that led to the aforementioned vote.
2012
A BILL TO PROTECT THE INTEG...
The mystery guest for the final night of the Democratic convention in Charlottesville, North Carolina, was actor Danny De Vito. Mr. De Vito walked on stage carrying a six-foot tall floor lamp, stood it next to the podium and switched it on. One of th...
The U.S. House of Representatives recently held a hearing concerning the revelation that Congress' approval rating hit the unprecedented low of -4%. The following is a transcript of that hearing.
CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL RATING FALLS BELOW 0%
2012
HEARING
BEFORE THE
SUBCOMMITTEE ON GOVERNMENT ORGANIZATION, EFFICIENCY AND FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
OF THE
COMMITTEE ON OVERSIGHT AND GOVER...
Waffle, NC - As a nod to one of President Obama's most notable achievements,the Obama Administration's decision to change Labor day to Labrador Retriever day, the Democratic National Convention, which starts on Labrador Retriever Day, will begin with...
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney, who has faced pressure from Democrats to make public his federal tax returns from the past ten years, finally revealed that the reason for his refusal to release any returns from prior to 2010 is that he n...
Long Island - It's been likened to Captain Jean-Luc Picard's Redemption directive of non-involvement in Klingon High Council secret ops to oust a tricky Romulan impostor.
This weekend a cabal of Dem oil and gas tycoons meeting at The Hamptons' ver...
Rush Limbaugh has finally made it official: He's fat.
The conservative radio show host has never publicly confirmed that detail until now, just a day after Anderson Cooper revealed his homosexuality.
Limbaugh made the announcement via his Frien...