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Arkansas, in a Bid Get into the Guinness Book of World Records, to Execute 8 Men over 10 Days

Funny story: Arkansas, in a Bid Get into the Guinness Book of World Records, to Execute 8 Men over 10 Days

Little Rock, AR--Besides being known for its high incidence of early death, infant mortality, cardiovascular disease, and obesity, Arkansas may soon break a new record, and possibly get into the 2018 Guinness Book of World Records in the attempt.

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TV bosses commission Jeremy Kyle on Death Row and confirms he will be executed live on television

Funny story: TV bosses commission Jeremy Kyle on Death Row and confirms he will be executed live on television

Television bosses have commissioned a thought provoking documentary series staring TV bully Jeremy Kyle investigating life on death row. Kyle and crew will travel to Indiana in order to investigate and give a clear insight on the matter. They, howeve...

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Governor Chickencooper's 'Right To Fry' bill gets the nod

Funny story: Governor Chickencooper's 'Right To Fry' bill gets the nod

Fought Collins, Colorado - Experimental execution drugs for Death Row inmates have been approved by the State's legislature. Colorado's Governor John Hickenlooper said this morning he'd been moved by harrowing testimony describing inmates' unconv...

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US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

Funny story: US legal system seduced by 'Armstrong Appeal'

The recent heart-warming words of Lance Armstrong have inspired a wave of appeals from prisoners on Death Row in America to commute their sentences to a 'life-time ban from competitive cycling'. US legal experts are said to be scratching their he...

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Subway and Starbucks open branches on Death Row

Funny story: Subway and Starbucks open branches on Death Row

Two of the world's largest brands have opened branches inside Death Row at New York State Penitentiary to serve last meals and drinks to the inmates before they go for the needle. "It's a bold move," said Subway chairman, Simon Simple. "We believe...

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Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Funny story: Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Tommy and Kathleen Morley of Simsbury, Connecticut, breathed an enormous sigh of relief when it was announced that Connecticut will repeal its death penalty statute. The Morleys' 17-year-old son, Rob, had been arrested over a dozen times on charges ranging from petty shoplifting to arson, and Rob's parents could tell that their depressed son was on a dangerous track toward committing more and more...

Read full story View 'Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty'

The State of Texas Discontinues The Practice of Giving Death Row Inmates Who Are To Be Executed Their "Last Meal" Request

Funny story: The State of Texas Discontinues The Practice of Giving Death Row Inmates Who Are To Be Executed Their "Last Meal" Request

HUNTSVILLE, Texas - Convicted criminal Lawrence Russell Brewer was convicted of a crime so horribly heinous that it cannot even be mentioned in a family publication. The state of Texas has historically allowed any convict who is getting ready to b...

Read full story View 'The State of Texas Discontinues The Practice of Giving Death Row Inmates Who Are To Be Executed Their "Last Meal" Request'

'Electric Bench' to be used in Texan Prisons

Texas Prison Chiefs today unveiled the electric-bench at a local state penitentiary after three years of research and development. The bench has been labeled "a fantastic breakthrough in the battle against rising prison numbers." The bench will al...

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No more last-meal requests in Texas as executed white supremacist ruins it for the rest of death row's rat bastards

Funny story: No more last-meal requests in Texas as executed white supremacist ruins it for the rest of death row's rat bastards

AUSTIN, Tx.--Lawrence Russell Brewer wasn't even cold and stiff from lethal injection late today before the Texas lawmakers started the ball rolling to end fancy last-meal requests. Brewer, 44, had requested quite a feed for his last meal includin...

Read full story View 'No more last-meal requests in Texas as executed white supremacist ruins it for the rest of death row's rat bastards'

Execution Drugs Withdrawn - too dangerous

Funny story: Execution Drugs Withdrawn - too dangerous

Two of the suppliers of the drugs used by the execution industry are withdrawing their use after it was discovered that they can cause death. "We never realised," said Bridget Tofar, lawyer for Smasho-Glyph-Kind. "We've been making Sodium Pentatho...

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Local Man Narrowly Escapes Euthanasia in Nursing Home Identity Mix Up!

Funny story: Local Man Narrowly Escapes Euthanasia in Nursing Home Identity Mix Up!

Local man and good samaritan Melvin Wordsmithe narrowly avoided death, or worse, during a recent visit to the local Nursing Home where he and stalwart Therapy Dog, Bear, provide weekly visits to the infirm of mind and body. Melvin had a sense som...

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Utah murderer chooses firing squad

Funny story: Utah murderer chooses firing squad

Convicted murderer Ronnie Lee Gardner has caused a storm of controversy after telling the sentencing judge: "I would like the firing squad, please." Following the frenzied reporting of the firing squad executions of Gary Gilmore, who famously quip...

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U.S. Man Chooses His Firing Squad

Funny story: U.S. Man Chooses His Firing Squad

A prisoner on death row has opted for death by a firing squad of his own choosing. When given the choice between a lethal injection or being shot by a squad of his own choosing, Ronnie Lee Gardiner told the judge "Silly question. Shooting please!"...

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Coffee Shop opens its first outlet on death row

Funny story: Coffee Shop opens its first outlet on death row

Shares of Barsucks Corp. edged up by 1/16th of a cent today after the company announced that in a bid to find new niches, it was opening its first outlet on death row. The outlet, to be opened at a Harris County, Texas death row is the first amon...

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Fat Man Given Enough Rope to Hang Himself

Funny story: Fat Man Given Enough Rope to Hang Himself

Morbid, Ohio - Convicted murderer, Ron (alias Big Mac) McDonald, was put out of his misery today after the Supreme Court supported his last-minute plea to be executed. McDonald had been on Ohio's death row for the past 22 years after being found guil...

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Goats on Death Row?

Funny story: Goats on Death Row?

Kinshasa jail, The Democratic Republic of Congo has been the home for a dozen goats, which were said to be held there illegally. The 'Dirty Dozen' were on remand, and due to appear in court, charged with being sold illegally by the roadside. Deput...

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Death-Row Prisoner Pins Last-Ditch Hope on Giambi's Golden Thong

Funny story: Death-Row Prisoner Pins Last-Ditch Hope on Giambi's Golden Thong

A death-row inmate has received Yankee slugger Jason Giambi's Golden Thong in the hopes of averting death by lethal injection Thursday.

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Just in time for Cinco de Mayo, Texas executions become #1 tourist draw

Funny story: Just in time for Cinco de Mayo, Texas executions become #1 tourist draw

In Texas, the leading death-penalty and concealed carry state in the US, choice Huntsville vacation slots are quickly snapped up by shoppers looking for something a little different for their Cinco de Mayo celebration.

Read full story View 'Just in time for Cinco de Mayo, Texas executions become #1 tourist draw'

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