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Funny story: Obama Reviews Death Penalty

Obama Reviews Death Penalty

Back and to the Lefts News understands that Barack Obama has ordered a review into execution practices within the US prison system. An unnamed state has applied for permission to change it's execution technique from lethal injection to "Dropping The...
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Funny story: Ninth Grader Wins Science Medal at his Oklahoma High School for Three-Drug Lethal Injection Protocol

Ninth Grader Wins Science Medal at his Oklahoma High School for Three-Drug Lethal Injection Protocol

TULSA, OKLA--A ninth grader in Tulsa has won his class' science medal for developing a three-drug protocol to put inmates to death on death row in the "Sooner State," as its residents proudly call Oklahoma. Richie Westerman, who submitted his pro...
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Funny story: Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Oklahoma Governor Agrees to Extend Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Following the botched execution of death row inmate Clayton Lockett, Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin announced that she will support legislation extending the Humane Slaughter Act, which has previously applied only to farm animals, to human prisoners.
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Funny story: Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

Oklahoma Supreme Court Extends Humane Slaughter Act to Human Death Row Inmates

In a groundbreaking and highly controversial decision, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled to expand the applicability of the Humane Slaughter Act, designed to decrease the suffering of livestock during slaughter, to also encompass the human slaughter o...
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Funny story: Jesus and Dubya Debate the Death Penalty

Jesus and Dubya Debate the Death Penalty

Jesus came back, this time to Texas in the summer of 2000. He did not come back because the world, or the US for that matter, was in any kind of crisis. He came back because he was bored in heaven. A man (or a God, for that matter) can only take so much harp playing and hosannas and cloying followers prostrating themselves before him before he gets a notion (remember, I'm quoting Jesus here), to...
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Funny story: Ohio to Try New Method of Execution: Strangulation

Ohio to Try New Method of Execution: Strangulation

LUCASVILLE, OH-After trying a new drug combo to execute convicted killer Dennis McGuire, who choked and snorted in paroxysms of pain for twenty-five minutes before finally dying, the state of Ohio has announced a new method of killing people on death...
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Funny story: CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

CAIR Honchos to Convene Obamacare Death Panels

Omar Ahmad (CAIR President), Nihad Awad (CAIR Secretary & Treasurer), and Rafeeq Jaber (CAIR Vice President) and Ibrahim Hooper (Communications Director) were named to head the Obamacare Sunset panel, which is more commonly known as the Death Pan...
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Funny story: World Records 2013: Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

World Records 2013: Texas Executes Its 500th Prisoner

On Wednesday, June 26, Texas executed death row inmate Kimberly McCarthy, making her the 500th prisoner Texas has executed since 1982, and allowing Texas now to enter the Book of World Records 2013 for the most people executed by a sovereign state in...
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Funny story: Gaga wows in controversial new meat creation

Gaga wows in controversial new meat creation

Lady Gaga has once again covered her body in a meat based outfit. Following on from last years meat dress and the meat basque that she wore in September Gaga walked out for an encore in Austin, Texas wearing a meat lingerie set of bra, panties. suspe...
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Funny story: Spinster Arrested For Loitering On Facebook, Will Face Death Penalty

Spinster Arrested For Loitering On Facebook, Will Face Death Penalty

Philadelphia, PA-- A local spinster finds herself behind bars today after she was arrested for loitering on Facebook. Police sources say Miss Vicky Smegma was taken into custody after a tip from Facebook headquarters. Miss Smegma will face the gall...
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Funny story: Romney Demands Death Penalty Reform

Romney Demands Death Penalty Reform

WASHINGTON, DC - On Sunday, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney criticized the current punishment system and announced that he will revolutionize the death penalty by instituting a new system if elected. "Public executions are the answer...
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Funny story: Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Depressed Juvenile Delinquent's Family Relieved at Connecticut's Repeal of Death Penalty

Tommy and Kathleen Morley of Simsbury, Connecticut, breathed an enormous sigh of relief when it was announced that Connecticut will repeal its death penalty statute. The Morleys' 17-year-old son, Rob, had been arrested over a dozen times on charges ranging from petty shoplifting to arson, and Rob's parents could tell that their depressed son was on a dangerous track toward committing more and more...
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Funny story: A Computer Program Made to Eliminate All Home Threats Kills Owner

A Computer Program Made to Eliminate All Home Threats Kills Owner

GADSEN AL (ABSNN) -- Bill Gates, the MicroSoft Gazillionaire has one. The Convent of the Queer has one. queen mudder has one. And so did Gadsen, Alabama native Sonny Daze, but his killed him! What did all of these people have, and what killed...
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Funny story: Bellfield Conviction In Milly Dowler Murder Case Re-Ignites Death Penalty Debate

Bellfield Conviction In Milly Dowler Murder Case Re-Ignites Death Penalty Debate

The conviction of serial killer Levi Bellfield in the Milly Dowler murder case has raised many fundamental questions about the propriety of the British legal system. Quite correctly, Milly's family members vociferously objected to having their liv...
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Funny story: Dizzy World & Dubai World Announce New Seal Encounter Attraction Featuring Live Seals and Soon to be Dead Terrorists!

Dizzy World & Dubai World Announce New Seal Encounter Attraction Featuring Live Seals and Soon to be Dead Terrorists!

Dizzy World, Inc, LLC, the world wide entertainment conglomerate announced it has reached agreement with Dubai World to add to their popular sea side attraction by constructing a real live Seal encounter pavilion featuring Navy Seals practicing hunt...
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Funny story: Condemned paraplegic fights for disabled-friendly executions

Condemned paraplegic fights for disabled-friendly executions

A 71-year-old paraplegic who killed two Riverside, California police officers nearly 28 years ago is challenging his recently reaffirmed death sentence citing the San Quentin death chamber's "non-compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act of...
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Funny story: Acton driving school owner who supplied US with execution drugs 'offers to sell Tamiflu to NHS'

Acton driving school owner who supplied US with execution drugs 'offers to sell Tamiflu to NHS'

London - (One-Little-Prick News): As profitable sidelines go selling sodium thiopental truth serum to Arizona State Prison has proved to be a nice little earner. Now Acton's Emergency Stop Driving School owner Mehdi Alavi has offered to put UK do...
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Funny story: Ritual Stoning To Death Ruled Unethical By BMC

Ritual Stoning To Death Ruled Unethical By BMC

The British Murder Council (BMC) has finally committed itself to across the board condemnation of ritual stoning as a method of capital punishment. Ritual stoning - long a favoured method of despatching unfaithful wives in sink-hole, arse-backward...
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George Zimmerman On His Way To Ferguson to Help Darren Wilson

George Zimmerman, who got off on shooting Trayvon Martin in stand your ground Florida, has announced he is on his way to help Darren Wilson, the Missouri cop who shot Michael Brown.

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