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Funny story: Matthew's Suicide Note

Matthew's Suicide Note

Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...
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Funny story: Obama On Castro Handshake, "Too Early To Rub Dicks"

Obama On Castro Handshake, "Too Early To Rub Dicks"

Panama City, Panama - President Obama commented today on shaking hands with Raul Castro, dictator of Cuba, during a ceremony honoring Nelson Mandela. "His grip was firm and manly," Obama said. "It reminded me of one of Michele's handjobs." Oba...
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Funny story: Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Unfortunately we at URFKD Magazine were unable to meet with the UK Prime Minister David Cameron as planned. It seems he had more important engagements. However, here is a list of questions we were hoping to ask. (1) Given the fact that you are goi...
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Funny story: ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

Aliens Please Help (Alph) is a group of humanists and scientists who are appealing to "Aliens" to intervene and end the dominance of human beings on Planet Earth! Dr. Moishe Pipick -Astrophysicist and Buddhist Scholar said today at the Alph World...
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Funny story: "Death Buyout" for The Elderly to Save Children is Essential

"Death Buyout" for The Elderly to Save Children is Essential

We Have To Eliminate Some Old People To Save The Kids. My idea is to offer a person with say two years to live a "Death Buyout" - ie. "Here's $100,000 for your kids -now adios grandma because we can't spend another $600,000 to keep you drooling for another coupla years." These are the hard facts: "Let's not forget that with the elderly population growing rapidly, even if cost increases fo...
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Funny story: Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Misao Okawa is a Japanese supercentenarian who is, at the age of 116 years, 333 days, the world's oldest living person, holding the title since the death of 116-year-old Japanese man Jiroemon Kimura. Interviewed in Tokyo just thirty two days befor...
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Funny story: Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

GRANTS LICK, KY-Jason Moribund, 57, a lifelong resident of northern Kentucky, was pre-planning his funeral at Swindler and Curry Funeral Home last Friday night when he suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. The owner of the funeral home, C...
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Funny story: Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Today, on the CNN show, "Today's News," the former head of the CIA, General Michael Hayden, and Harvard Professor of Ethics, Greg Stiles, squared off against one another on the issue of torture. The background of the debate centered on The Senat...
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Funny story: Fun facts about cremation

Fun facts about cremation

I'm thinking about getting cremated. Well, not today. I think I'll wait until I'm dead. But here's a little fun fact about cremation: You can have your ashes mailed to a loved one. I don't think so. My ashes would get lost in the mail and I would have to file a missing ash report. Hold on, Cousin Willie, I know what you're thinking. You would replace the letter h in the word ash with th...
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Funny story: I'm long, long, long gone.

I'm long, long, long gone.

Police have issued details regarding the decomposed body of an elderly man who was recently discovered in a Tesco car park in Romford, Essex, where they say he may have lain dead for many, many years or more! Officers found the badly decomposed bo...
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Funny story: Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Scientists discover death could actually be good for your health

Scientists at the university of Stockholm have revealed that dying could actually have substantial health benefits for your body. Previously experts felt that when a person expires there were no advantages and that life simply ended, however that has...
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Funny story: Auto Chiefs Laugh At Death, Party On

Auto Chiefs Laugh At Death, Party On

Global Motors Executives who either ignored or engaged in a cover up of defective cars with airbag, break, steering and ignition problems, which caused deaths and injuries to many, have been on a retreat in Indianapolis, Indiana. It is an enclav...
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Funny story: "Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" Dies Again

"Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" Dies Again

For the 700th time this year "The Most Remarkable and Kindest Person You Would Wish To Meet" has sadly died. This comes after the recent 475th death of "He was a great Man" and comes hot on the heals of the tragic demise of "He was the best son ev...
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Funny story: NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

NFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation

Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, already facing felony charges in Texas for child abuse, was accused in a separate incident involving another son who was 4 years old. In that case Peterson inflicted a head wound on his son, who was in a car seat,...
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Funny story: Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

Twenty Signs to tell you that you are Dead

1. You think 'your' thoughts are worse than anybody else's. You have not thought about where 'your' thoughts have come from. 2. You are scared the people you respect and who respect you may find out and abandon you. 3. Killing people is okay, you believe, and your favourite movies are all about heroes and the relentless murder they bring. 4. You think sex is love because that is what they...
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Funny story: Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Assault Weapons Chief Says God Is On His Side

Commenting on the accidental murder of a nine-year-old girl's assault weapons instructor on a gun range, because of her inability to control her Uzi submachine gun, and thus blowing part of his brains out, Wayne La Pisse of the "Owning Guns Is A God-...
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Funny story: Man freezes to death in the iciest of ice bucket challenges

Man freezes to death in the iciest of ice bucket challenges

Bronx, N.Y. - Ice bucket challenges have gone viral in the social media circuit. These challenges involve a nomination of friends who will either take the challenge or donate to a charity to fund research to reduce morbidity and mortality caused by A...
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Funny story: Giant killer frogs attack nurses at prison hospital

Giant killer frogs attack nurses at prison hospital

Monroe, Wa. Correction officers at MCC (Monroe Correctional Complex) in Washington State have reported several unprovoked attacks by giant mutant frogs on workers at the prison. " They seem to be focused on the nursing staff;" officer Shirley L. s...
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Showing page 1 (of 35 pages)
Breaking News...

News Media Will Only Report on Women Not Raped by Cosby

There are now so many Bill Cosby rape accusers that a new one is no longer news; what is news is a woman he hasn't drugged or raped.
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