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Funny story: Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

A group of eight geeky university frat house buddies was instantly killed by a single round from an M777 self-propelled howitzer when they ventured onto a firing range at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. "Training accidents are always tragic", read a statemen...
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Funny story: The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

Just down the road a ways the Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death is having a bus tour. The attendees of this gala are sparse. The Gateway of Death's Mayor and Safety-Service Director were expecting a much larger turnout, but only three peopl...
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Funny story: Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

A hacker unwittingly exposed the true nature of Roger Goodell by falsely reporting his death on Tuesday June 7, 2016. The NFL's hacked Twitter account announced his passing with the following tweet: "We regret to inform our fans that our commission...
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Funny story: Spoof writer ponders afterlife: "I wonder---does God laugh?"

Spoof writer ponders afterlife: "I wonder---does God laugh?"

I wonder---------Does God laugh? As I lay in bed a few nights ago and after I said my prayers, I do what I expect a lot of folks my age do, I wondered about heaven and about God. At eighty, not a bad time to start, right? Like, are there really a heaven and an afterlife? What's it like? Will they all be there? I heard once that a person asked a theologian if there were dogs in heaven. The theol...
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Funny story: Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...
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Funny story: At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!

At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!

The first branch of 'Cark It Right' will open the doors of its brand new, custom built suicide centre on St. Peter's Close on Monday. I spoke to the company M.D. Graham Reaper today. "Hello Graham, exciting time for you?" "Oh yes, we think it's a killer idea; people have been dying for an opportunity like this." "Erm..." "Sorry about the dark humour." "Don't you mean Christmas crack...
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Funny story: Death is now optional

Death is now optional

Under the new Dying Act which came into effect today all forms of dying other than euthanasia are illegal. A spokesperson for the Government said that euthanasia, either self-administered or assisted is now the only way that people can die. She added...
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Funny story: Après la vie

Après la vie

In physics, energy can be transferred or converted to kinetic, radiant, elastic, thermal or chemical energy, but it cannot be created or destroyed. Benjamin Franklin, born 1706, before his discovery, believed that 'clouds formed over the ocean had more electricity than clouds formed over the land; therefore, when these two clouds came close enough to one anther, the different charges had to eq...
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Funny story: Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Philadelphia, PA - Growing concern for loved ones who have passed on has been a boon to the burgeoning death care industry. Still, uncertainties exist regarding the quality of medical care for the deceased. For years the death care market has gone un...
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Funny story: Kentucky man digs up his father's grave to argue with the corpse

Kentucky man digs up his father's grave to argue with the corpse

SANFORD Ky - Michael May, 44, was discovered by Sanford police digging up his father's grave in a cemetery on Monday night, Aug. 17. May told the arresting officer that he was trying to exhume daddy so he could argue with him. May was charged with violating graves, public intoxication and marijuana possession and was expeditiously locked up in the Lincoln County Jail. What a fucking weirdo.
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Funny story: American Nursing Homes Join Natural Burial movement - Create Natural Compost Pits

American Nursing Homes Join Natural Burial movement - Create Natural Compost Pits

Dr.Edmore Cretan, National Director of "The Natural Burial Movement" announced today from a Nursing Home in Florida; "We are proud to announce that The National Association of Nursing Homes will be creating natural compost pits at all it's facilities...
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Funny story: Matthew's Suicide Note

Matthew's Suicide Note

Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...
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Funny story: Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Interview With UK Prime Minister David Cameron

Unfortunately we at URFKD Magazine were unable to meet with the UK Prime Minister David Cameron as planned. It seems he had more important engagements. However, here is a list of questions we were hoping to ask. (1) Given the fact that you are goi...
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Funny story: ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

ALPH - Worldwide Group of Humanist/Scientists Appeals for Alien Intervention

Aliens Please Help (Alph) is a group of humanists and scientists who are appealing to "Aliens" to intervene and end the dominance of human beings on Planet Earth! Dr. Moishe Pipick -Astrophysicist and Buddhist Scholar said today at the Alph World...
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Funny story: "Death Buyout" for The Elderly to Save Children is Essential

"Death Buyout" for The Elderly to Save Children is Essential

We Have To Eliminate Some Old People To Save The Kids. My idea is to offer a person with say two years to live a "Death Buyout" - ie. "Here's $100,000 for your kids -now adios grandma because we can't spend another $600,000 to keep you drooling for another coupla years." These are the hard facts: "Let's not forget that with the elderly population growing rapidly, even if cost increases fo...
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Funny story: Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Oldest Living Person -Misao Okawa - Says Sex is The Key

Misao Okawa is a Japanese supercentenarian who is, at the age of 116 years, 333 days, the world's oldest living person, holding the title since the death of 116-year-old Japanese man Jiroemon Kimura. Interviewed in Tokyo just thirty two days befor...
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Funny story: Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

Man Unexpectedly Drops Dead While Pre-Planning His Funeral

GRANTS LICK, KY-Jason Moribund, 57, a lifelong resident of northern Kentucky, was pre-planning his funeral at Swindler and Curry Funeral Home last Friday night when he suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. The owner of the funeral home, C...
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Funny story: Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Former CIA Head Defends Torture

Today, on the CNN show, "Today's News," the former head of the CIA, General Michael Hayden, and Harvard Professor of Ethics, Greg Stiles, squared off against one another on the issue of torture. The background of the debate centered on The Senat...
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