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Funny satire stories about Death

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"No, Henry, We Won't Publish Your 'Liberty or Death" Op-Ed"

SUBJECT: OP-ED SUBMISSION: "LIBERTY OR DEATH" FROM: oped@Richmondgazette.com DATE: March 20, 1775 To: Henry@Burgesses.va.gov ---------------- My Dear Henry: Pardon my informality with regard to your name, but I am a recent hire here at the Richmond Gazette, having just arrived from New York where I was editorial page editor of The Times, [the New Amsterdam Times] and I am unfamiliar with...

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Boy's dying wish unfulfilled

Funny story: Boy's dying wish unfulfilled

In a tragic misunderstanding, a dying autistic boy was granted a final wish - only for the organisation helping him to foul it up completely. Geoff Lucky, aged 9, of Coventry, suffers from cancer of the soul, and is expected to die any day now. Th...

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Granite counter tops no longer in fashion

Funny story: Granite counter tops no longer in fashion

Emmaus, PA - Once the height of fashion, granite counter tops are going the way of the Studebaker. What's in fashion now, according to Ms. McBoobay, Emmaus real estate agent, are the old counter tops that were in during the 1990's. The cheap old com...

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Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

Funny story: Woman's Bad Breath Kills Seven on Tourist Train

A Denver woman accidentally killed seven fellow passengers with her bad breath while aboard a popular sightseeing train ride on the border of New Mexico and Colorado. Passengers on the J&O Tours train started screaming and passing out when Thi...

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Funeral for "The Spoof" Avatar and Editor in Chief Postponed

Funny story: Funeral for "The Spoof" Avatar and Editor in Chief Postponed

The funeral for Zippy "The Spoof" Avatar adorning The Spoof website and his human counterpart has been postponed due to lack of evidence. "Were not 100% sure that they are actually dead", said the London Chief Medical Examiner in Waiting, "His wi...

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Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Funny story: Legendary ESPN Sportscaster's Cause of Death Identified -Choked on Gallons Of Freshly Squirted Semen

Baltimore, MD - He was so different. He was black but Canadian. He was black and specialized in Hockey commentary and play by play, sometimes assuming a fake French accent when he did the latter at a velocity quicker than even the most amped up Per...

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Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

Funny story: Pokemon Go Players Killed on Artillery Range

A group of eight geeky university frat house buddies was instantly killed by a single round from an M777 self-propelled howitzer when they ventured onto a firing range at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. "Training accidents are always tragic", read a statemen...

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The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

Funny story: The Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death's Bus Tour in 2025

Just down the road a ways the Chamber of Commerce of the Gateway to Death is having a bus tour. The attendees of this gala are sparse. The Gateway of Death's Mayor and Safety-Service Director were expecting a much larger turnout, but only three peopl...

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Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

Funny story: Twitter Report of Roger Goodell's Death a Hoax. NFL Admits "He was never alive to begin with..."

A hacker unwittingly exposed the true nature of Roger Goodell by falsely reporting his death on Tuesday June 7, 2016. The NFL's hacked Twitter account announced his passing with the following tweet: "We regret to inform our fans that our commission...

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Spoof writer ponders afterlife: "I wonder---does God laugh?"

I wonder---------Does God laugh? As I lay in bed a few nights ago and after I said my prayers, I do what I expect a lot of folks my age do, I wondered about heaven and about God. At eighty, not a bad time to start, right? Like, are there really a heaven and an afterlife? What's it like? Will they all be there? I heard once that a person asked a theologian if there were dogs in heaven. The theol...

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Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

Funny story: Remains of 74 Year Old Nun Found In Woods

The mysterious disappearance of Mother Helen Graham four years ago have been solved. She was last seen alive on a nature trail in the Angeles National Forest when she strolled away to look at a cactus flower. Her friend Sister Ellen Turner said, "she...

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At last, euthanasia arrives in the UK!

The first branch of 'Cark It Right' will open the doors of its brand new, custom built suicide centre on St. Peter's Close on Monday. I spoke to the company M.D. Graham Reaper today. "Hello Graham, exciting time for you?" "Oh yes, we think it's a killer idea; people have been dying for an opportunity like this." "Erm..." "Sorry about the dark humour." "Don't you mean Christmas crack...

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Death is now optional

Under the new Dying Act which came into effect today all forms of dying other than euthanasia are illegal. A spokesperson for the Government said that euthanasia, either self-administered or assisted is now the only way that people can die. She added...

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Après la vie

In physics, energy can be transferred or converted to kinetic, radiant, elastic, thermal or chemical energy, but it cannot be created or destroyed. Benjamin Franklin, born 1706, before his discovery, believed that 'clouds formed over the ocean had more electricity than clouds formed over the land; therefore, when these two clouds came close enough to one anther, the different charges had to eq...

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Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Funny story: Government proposes legislation to regulate the quality of medical care for the dead

Philadelphia, PA - Growing concern for loved ones who have passed on has been a boon to the burgeoning death care industry. Still, uncertainties exist regarding the quality of medical care for the deceased. For years the death care market has gone un...

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Kentucky man digs up his father's grave to argue with the corpse

Funny story: Kentucky man digs up his father's grave to argue with the corpse

SANFORD Ky - Michael May, 44, was discovered by Sanford police digging up his father's grave in a cemetery on Monday night, Aug. 17. May told the arresting officer that he was trying to exhume daddy so he could argue with him. May was charged with violating graves, public intoxication and marijuana possession and was expeditiously locked up in the Lincoln County Jail. What a fucking weirdo.

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American Nursing Homes Join Natural Burial movement - Create Natural Compost Pits

Funny story: American Nursing Homes Join Natural Burial movement - Create Natural Compost Pits

Dr.Edmore Cretan, National Director of "The Natural Burial Movement" announced today from a Nursing Home in Florida; "We are proud to announce that The National Association of Nursing Homes will be creating natural compost pits at all it's facilities...

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Matthew's Suicide Note

Funny story: Matthew's Suicide Note

Scotland Yard Police are trying to trace the origins of a suicide note. Police were summoned to Blackfriars Bridge last night when a man out walking his dog spotted a pair of boots mid-way across the bridge on the pavement beside a briefcase full of...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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