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Attorney General invokes deity to decide Petraeus case

Funny story: Attorney General invokes deity to decide Petraeus case

Attorney General Eric Holder yesterday claimed the Petraeus case will be decided "at the highest" level in an "appropriate" way. Meanwhile, Senator Feinstein urged that people can't be too careful with their behaviors in various chambers when they...

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David Petraeus Speaks Out on Affair

In another Spoof exclusive, General David Petraeus has given a statement on the sex scandal that cost him his job as head of the CIA. Petraeus was forced to step down after the exposure of an extramarital affair with Paula Broadwell, his biographer a...

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Alien cloning factory found near US Ambassador's Residence

Funny story: Alien cloning factory found near US Ambassador's Residence

London - "Looks like ET was planning on flooding the world with hundreds of General Petraeus lookalikes and Mitt Romney clones," the head of the UK Diplomatic Protection Racket Corps said today as the news broke, "we even found their original Paula...

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General Petraeus Stripped of His 'License to Kill'

Funny story: General Petraeus Stripped of His 'License to Kill'

Washington DC - The State Department has revoked the master spy privileges of disgraced former CIA director David Petraeus. That means the ex-general has lost all of his "00" espionage perks, including the highly prized "License to Kill." "Because...

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UK Defence Chiefs caught in the cross-fire as top US General forced to pull out

Funny story: UK Defence Chiefs caught in the cross-fire as top US General forced to pull out

In the light of recent revelations concerning General Patraeus, senior members of UK Armed Forces have admitted that they have also been caught with their pants down, frequently having to make a 'hasty tactical withdrawal'. Part of the problem is...

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'Petraeus And Allen Should Have Seen It Coming' says former Pentagon remote viewing commander General Albert Stubblebine III

Funny story: 'Petraeus And Allen Should Have Seen It Coming' says former Pentagon remote viewing commander General Albert Stubblebine III

New York - "They were among my very best psychic warriors," ex-First Earth Battalion commander General Stubblebine said today amid mounting furor in the Broadwell-gate case, "taught 'em everything I know and NOW look what's happened!!" Speaking to...

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Jack Nicholson and Sandra Bullock To Star In "PaulaGate - The General David Petraeus Story"

Funny story: Jack Nicholson and Sandra Bullock To Star In "PaulaGate - The General David Petraeus Story"

HOLLYWOOD - One of the biggest political scandals to hit the nation in a while is already in the process of being made into a motion picture. TouchRock Pictures in association with Pipe Dream Films has just announced that the movie based on The Ge...

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General Petraeus Blames Mitt Romney For PaulaGate

Funny story: General Petraeus Blames Mitt Romney For PaulaGate

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The former director of the CIA, General David Petraeus, reportedly told a close, unnamed friend that he never realized that he would one day join the ranks of individuals such as Senator John Edwards, Governor Eliot Spitzer, and Go...

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Petraeus Apologizes; Vows to Start Cheaters Clinic

Disgraced former CIA David Petraeus says he is so disgusted with his behavior in having an affair with his much younger beauteous biographer that he plans to start a rehab program for cheating military and intelligence community officials. "I kn...

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X Files honeytrap caught General Petraeus

Funny story: X Files honeytrap caught General Petraeus

Langley, Va - "Hell hath no fury as a Borg Queen scorned!" is how one intelligence analyst put it as news of David Petraeus' sudden departure broke. Speaking to reporters this morning Official Shrink to the CIA Professor Einstein Flintstone descri...

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Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Funny story: Tons of marijuana discovered at school

Two and a half tons of marijuana was discovered in an Afghani school, leading authorities to inspect other students' lockers only to discover twice that much in opium stashed away. "These enemy combatants think they can hide their drugs from us?"...

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Generalissimo Petraeus Re-ups Major Major's Catch-22; It's more...It's 23!

Funny story: Generalissimo Petraeus Re-ups Major Major's Catch-22; It's more...It's 23!

In the classic anti-war novel of Joseph Heller, Catch-22, if you wanted to stop flying bombing missions you were clearly sane enough to be denied a mental illness discharge. If you were crazy enough to want to continue flying bombing missions than yo...

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Pope Applauds Petraeus Non-Pull Out Policy As A Victory for Catholicism

Funny story: Pope Applauds Petraeus Non-Pull Out Policy As A Victory for Catholicism

In an unusual political statement, the Pope today praised General Petraeus' non-withdrawal policy in Iraq as a victory for the Vatican and a blow to birth control users worldwide.

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Petraeus: Wig Crisis Deepens

Funny story: Petraeus: Wig Crisis Deepens

The US Army's wig supply scandal reached crisis point last night when it was revealed General David Petraeus had to borrow a synthetic toupee from an Iraqi hairpiece fabricator.

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Petraeus suspected of dumping missile in Florida's gun amnesty

Funny story: Petraeus suspected of dumping missile in Florida's gun amnesty

Orlando, Florida - (Rioters): General David H Petraeus, commander of the Multi-National Force in Iraq, is the prime suspect in the dumping of a surface-to-air missile launcher at gun amnesty in the city of Orlando.

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