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86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

Funny story: 86 ft sea monster found on Brit beach has same DNA as Boris Johnson!

Scientists analysing huge, ancient bones, found on a Brit beach, have discovered something quite amazing! It seems the DNA in the bones, that belonged to a huge Jurassic sea monster, has the same DNA as the present UK foreign minister, BOJO! "Ther...

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Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Funny story: Feathered, flying dinosaur is genetically related to Theresa May!

Chinese scientists researching a dinosaur egg have made an amazing discovery! Its DNA is the same as Theresa May's! The egg seems to be that of a feathered, flying dinosaur, that hovered, attacked and ruled over the planet millions of years ago. B...

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DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

Funny story: DNA is a Secularist Conspiracy

The following is a partial reprint of a handbill given to me one Sunday morning as I stumbled to my pickup after a wild night partying in Athens, Ga, home of the University of Georgia. At issue was the recent DNA extracted from a 37,000 year old hum...

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Mummy DNA Shows 3500 Years Old But Not Completely Human

Funny story: Mummy DNA Shows 3500 Years Old But Not Completely Human

A very confused group of experts have been onto this for a month and still have no solution. "We have an Egyptian mummy, we think, brought here as usual to test the DNA so it could be dated and so we did", stated a DNA Expert in Tucson, Arizona. "...

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John Lennon To Be Cloned?

Funny story: John Lennon To Be Cloned?

A Canadian dentist has plans to clone the late Beatle, John Lennon after purchasing his tooth a couple of years ago for over $30,000. This was revealed recently during an episode of Dead Famous DNA on Channel 4 in England. Canadian dentist Dr.

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Tea Party DNA Shows Meanness, Stupidity As Common Bond

Funny story: Tea Party DNA Shows Meanness, Stupidity As Common Bond

Recent scientific research proves that personalities, temperaments, and world views are innate. These are simply human genetic imprints. Now, world famous mind researcher, Adler Freud-Jung, M.D., Ph.D, I.W.W. and his associates have conducted e...

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China Accused of Raising Work Drones For Factories

Funny story: China Accused of Raising Work Drones For Factories

Apparently China has been giving children plenty of sweets over the years to get them to work for very low wages and not to get bored. China denies the fact that thousands of those former children are now working long hours and have been for many...

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Genoproject Results Continue To Surprise

Funny story: Genoproject Results Continue To Surprise

WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a news conference earlier this week, Dr. Spencer Wells, the National Geographic Explorer-in-Residence, announced more surprising results from the Genoproject's Multiyear research. According to Wells, by using their "cutting-e...

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Chinese Circus Using DNA Freaks!

Funny story: Chinese Circus Using DNA Freaks!

Although they are being billed with such names as "Cat Head", "Trout Ears" and "The Man With The Octopus Arms", American scientists who have watched the Chinese Circus in Europe say that these freaks are not by nature but by DNA experiments. "They...

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Missing Prostitutes May Be Conected With Science DNA

Funny story: Missing Prostitutes May Be Conected With Science DNA

Police in Las Vegas, Nevada are now searching for a "freak" identified by a prostitute after two other prostitutes have been missing for weeks. This lady is in pretty bad shape but has told police a great deal about her attacker. "It was a male...

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Scientists discover socialist gene linked to incest and sexually transmitted diseases

Funny story: Scientists discover socialist gene linked to incest and sexually transmitted diseases

Los Angeles - Researchers at LA's Seedy Sign Eye Hospital & Institute of Medicalology have announced the discovery of a link between incest-related sexually transmitted diseases and the rogue genetic makeup of socialists from Karl Marx to Ecuador...

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New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

Funny story: New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...

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A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

Funny story: A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

DOVER, Delaware - Law enforcement officials in Dover have confirmed that a drone that crashed on Bradford Frissyfrock's Farm did in fact originate from outside the United States. Officer Ty Bolero, 43, with the Dover Police Department stated that...

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Giant mutant fly created by Large Hadron Collider

Funny story: Giant mutant fly created by Large Hadron Collider

Urgent appeals for a very big fly swatter have been made by the LHC team in Switzerland afer a particle from an accelerator collided with a stray fly. The 10 metre wingspan fly soared out of the collision chamber and ate the operator's Coronation...

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O.J. Simpson Now Says He Fathered Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian

Funny story: O.J. Simpson Now Says He Fathered Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian

LOVELOCK, Nevada - The most famous inmate at Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson, has just dropped quite a bombshell. Speaking with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk in an isolated area of the prison facility the former NFL great mad...

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Ann Coulter's Birthplace Home Has Been Discovered

Funny story: Ann Coulter's Birthplace Home Has Been Discovered

WHITE PLAINS, New York - Two reporters with National Focus Magazine have just discovered the actual birthplace of Republican political commentator Ann Coulter. Durango Tucker and Jefferson Sierra had heard that Miss Coulter was not really born in...

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Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

In a bold move, the Isle of Wight councillor, David Pugh, has elected to spend his twenty-million pound lottery win on putting every dog on the island onto a doggy DNA database. "I was going to buy a bigger house," he said. "However, I already hav...

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Horse DNA Found In Richard III

Funny story: Horse DNA Found In Richard III

Tesco has shut down its Richard III outlet in Leicester after horse DNA was found in the remains of the last Planted King. The Food Standards Agency, who missed the DNA finding due to cutbacks, advised anyone who had bought Richard III steaks (at...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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