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Funny satire stories about Cryogenics

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British Royal Family To Have Removable Heads

Queen Elizabeth II and any other Royal Heads of State will in future be removable to prevent Kings, Dukes Queens and even Jacks hanging onto power like Queen Elizabeth. The "Thatcher Syndrome" where crazed obsessives believe themselves to be ind...

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Cryogenic Storage Facility Workers Caught Bowling With Frozen Heads

Six workers at a local cryogenics storage facility are out of a job after being caught bowling with frozen human heads early Tuesday morning. Police say a security guard heard laughing and shouting around 3:00am and discovered the intoxicated wo...

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Crytologists Investigating Weird Beast Washed Ashore In Wales

Funny story: Crytologists Investigating Weird Beast Washed Ashore In Wales

A grotesque, bloated beast has been found washed ashore by a dog walker in Tenby, West Wales. The hideous, "Beast of Tenby" has a bloated body, which is partially covered in dark fur. It looks like a hybrid, of a dog, horse and a pig. It's mouth...

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Frozen Butterball Turkey Revived By Cryogenic Scientist

Funny story: Frozen Butterball Turkey Revived By Cryogenic Scientist

BILLINGSGATE POST: A scientist at a cryogenics lab in Florida reported that he successfully revived a 22 pound flash frozen Butterball turkey right before Thanksgiving. In the highly respected Scientific Journal of Cryogenics, Dr. Wilmot Scheemer de...

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Clint Eastwood gives speech---returns to cryogenic vault!

It was an excited, enthused but somewhat baffled crowd that gave a standing ovation to Clint Eastwood as he took the podium at the GOP convention last night. "Is he still alive?," one attendee was heard to remark. The Associated Press in a repor...

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Blast reported in Buckingham Palace cryogenics bunker

Funny story: Blast reported in Buckingham Palace cryogenics bunker

London - Suspicion is falling on a delivery of 1,000 barrels of sweet light crude - er...embalming fluid! - that's usually pumped direct into royal rejuvenation pods ahead of the Queen's Christmas Message. Storage tanks deep below Palace kitchens...

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Cryogenics Company wanted Michael Jacksons Head now they want Doctor's

Funny story: Cryogenics Company wanted Michael Jacksons Head now they want Doctor's

The Cryogenics company at the centre of a row over the freezing of Michael Jacksons body to put in cryogenic suspension are furious at the circumstances of Jacksons death. When it was eventually clear that Jackson was dead the company tried to get...

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Cryogenics Company to sue Michael Jackson Doctor

Funny story: Cryogenics Company to sue Michael Jackson Doctor

A cryogenics company, who lost out on being paid millions to freeze the King of Pop's corpse, are set to sue Conrad Murray who is alleged to have murdered Michael Jackson. The Cryogenics company, that cannot be named at this stage for Legal reaso...

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Michael Jackson's Body To Be Sent To Cryonics Center, Says Cryonics Today Magazine

Funny story: Michael Jackson's Body To Be Sent To Cryonics Center, Says Cryonics Today Magazine

The magazine's report, appearing in the issue that hits the newsstands Wednesday, is based on internal documents, e-mails, photographs and tape recordings supplied by an anonymous employee of the Elcor Life Extension Foundation. After Michael Jack...

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Gordon Brown to be cryogenically frozen

Funny story: Gordon Brown to be cryogenically frozen

Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, is to be cryogenically frozen in 3 days time. The announcement which was made today by a Downing Street spokesman, confirmed that the process would be completed by an expert in the field.

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Cowell: "I want to be Frozen"

Funny story: Cowell: "I want to be Frozen"

Music mogul and all round pain in the bum Simon Cowell caused a stampede today when he announced that he wished to be frozen and brought back to life at a later date. Many members of the public lay siege to the television studios where the X(treme...

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World Leaders Unite Against Root Cause of Terror

Funny story: World Leaders Unite Against Root Cause of Terror

Testosterone, Italy - At a hastily arranged global summit in the wake of mounting terrorist activities, world leaders today announced a unified plan of action to combat the root cause of terrorism. Barack Obama, the American President-elect, s...

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Miley Cyrus to be Cryogenically Frozen

Funny story: Miley Cyrus to be Cryogenically Frozen

TV and singing personality Miley Cyrus is to be cryogenically frozen upon her death and preserved until medical science discovers a cure for the common 'death', it's been revealed. The teen is following in the tradition of Walt Disney, except unli...

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Walt Disney Wakes up

Funny story: Walt Disney Wakes up

A male cleaner at the Cryogenics Laboratory (Disneyland University, Florida) is recovering in intensive care tonight after being scared half to death by none other than Walt Disney, the famous animator and deer hunter. The man, known affectionatel...

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Nice to See You in 50 years, to See You in 50 Years Nice!

Funny story: Nice to See You in 50 years, to See You in 50 Years Nice!

Aging sparrow-legged, "Strictly Come Dancing" presenter, Bruce Forsyth has shocked the entertainment world by announcing plans to be cryogenically frozen on his 90th birthday and defrosted 50 years later. The multi-millionaire, who is considerabl...

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Breaking news…

Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.
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