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Crossbow Cannibal, Stephen Griffiths - how many more did he kill?

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal, Stephen Griffiths - how many more did he kill?

Self styled Crossbow Cannibal, serial killer Stephen Griffiths is dying. Having been declared officially sane, the raving monster is being allowed to starve himself to death, in prison. Griffiths, convicted for the murders of Suzanne Blamires, Sus...

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The Crossbow Cannibal Finds a Cross-Eyed Friend

Funny story: The Crossbow Cannibal Finds a Cross-Eyed Friend

Once a failure, always a failure. Such is life, it seems, for perennial loser The Crossbow Cannibal. He seems to be a bit shit at killing himself, despite proving to be adept at it when it comes to ordinary people - especially prostitutes. Afte...

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Crossbow Cannibal's 'The Story of O, My Blood Group Hell' defence

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal's 'The Story of O, My Blood Group Hell' defence

Wakefield - (Antibodies): "Bleedin' cheek!" was the gist of the Crown Prosecution Service's response this morning following a legal defence submission by Bradford Ripper Stephen Griffiths. This claims 'a cute (sick) hemolitic reaction' turned sour...

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Crossbow Cannibal Claims He Killed Cumbrian Loony Derrick Bird

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal Claims He Killed Cumbrian Loony Derrick Bird

'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths is so pissed off with the attention-grabbing Cumbrian massacre that he now claims that he in fact killed Derrick Bird and that Bird did not commit suicide. Griffiths, 40, a gay-looking man with a fetish for Ab...

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Lady GaGa 'gagging for it' at Crossbow Cannibal tribute gig

Funny story: Lady GaGa 'gagging for it' at Crossbow Cannibal tribute gig

Manchster - (Bloody Cheek Mess): "Eat yer heart out, Manchester!" was last night's gory theme at Lady GaGa's MENtal Arena cannibal tribute gig. A vampiristic rendition of Janis Joplin's classic Piece of My Heart stunned concertgoers who watched in...

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Crossbow Cannibal 'boasted of dumping ex-girlfriend on Faecesbook'

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal 'boasted of dumping ex-girlfriend on Faecesbook'

Bradford, Yorks - (Slashers): Debriefing sources said today the self-confessed Crossbow Cannibal 'had invited an ex-girlfriend for dinner' before dumping her on the iconic social networking site. Stephen Griffiths, a postgraduate doctoral faeces (...

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Stephen Griffiths tempted by Acid Bath Murderer's Corpus Delicti plea

Funny story: Stephen Griffiths tempted by Acid Bath Murderer's Corpus Delicti plea

Bradford, Yorks - (Slashers): Sources close to the 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths police probe fear he may use the same legal defence as convicted Acid Bath Murderer John Haigh. The notorious 20th century serial killer dissolved at least s...

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Crossbow Cannibal Stephen Griffiths A Weirdo Susan Boyle Fan Say Cops

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal Stephen Griffiths A Weirdo Susan Boyle Fan Say Cops

A police source claimed today that cops involved in searching Stephen Griffiths' apartment in Bradford were sickened by some of the discoveries they made. "To classify this man as a twisted psychopathic pervert doesn't do it justice," a grim faced...

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Crossbow Cannibal 'obsessed' with Hannibal Lecter actor Anthony Hopkins

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal 'obsessed' with Hannibal Lecter actor Anthony Hopkins

Yorkshire - (Slashers): Bradford's 'Crossbow Cannibal' Stephen Griffiths may have been obsessed with Silence of the Lambs star Anthony Hopkins whom he is said to resemble facially. A police search of the suspected murderer's seedy bedsit has found...

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Crossbow Cannibal 'lost his veginity' after watching Cooking With Delia

Funny story: Crossbow Cannibal 'lost his veginity' after watching Cooking With Delia

Bradford - (Slashers): "Delia trussing poussins - that's spring chickens to you and me - was what did it," Mrs Moira Griffiths explained to reporters today. "Overnight it changed his carnal appetites, like," Mrs G added, "gave him a taste for the...

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Breaking news…

Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...
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