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Funny satire stories about Cristiano Ronaldo

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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Football Gossip & comments 6th September 2012

Cristiano Ronaldo has rejected accusations he said he is "sad" at Real Madrid to get more money from the club. (BBC Sport) Its hair gel. He wants more hair gel. Trust my sources on this one Liverpool supporters' union Spirit Of Shankly has called on the club's American owners to appoint a chief executive based in the city. (ESPN) The problem is, if they did appoint a local CEO, they'd proba...
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Funny story:  Samaritans reach out to 'sad' Ronaldo

Samaritans reach out to 'sad' Ronaldo

Welfare group Samaritans have offered assistance to Cristiano Ronaldo after he refused to celebrate his two goals at the weekend, saying it was due to him feeling sad. The Real Madrid player didn't specify what exactly is causing his sadness, set...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo retires because he's sad and pathetic!

Ronaldo retires because he's sad and pathetic!

Madrid, Spain (it's Real!): Cristiano Ronaldo, soccer super-star, pompous, self righteous, multi-millionaire prima-donna is to retire from soccer because he's sad! The reasons behind his sadness have nothing to do with his vast wealth or lack of s...
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Funny story:  International Superstars Line Up For Stricken Pompey!

International Superstars Line Up For Stricken Pompey!

Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Carlos Tevez, Juan Mata... a team line-up to die for? Well it seems fans of stricken Portsmouth, will soon be on life support as some of the greatest names in the game sign up to help the club out of its difficulti...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo and Messi clash even before a ball has been kicked in vain in Spain!

Ronaldo and Messi clash even before a ball has been kicked in vain in Spain!

The world's best two footballers, Lionel Messi & Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd die-hard Rooney fans would argue about the statement, but they're blind!) are about to go head to head even before a single ball is kicked in the Primera Liga. The UEF...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over. (Daily Mirror) Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began. Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed. (Daily Mail) Don't they have den...
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Funny story:  Portuguese win gold and silver in Olympic diving

Portuguese win gold and silver in Olympic diving

Nobody was surprised to Portugal atop the podium in the Olympic diving, with Ronaldo and Nani making a clean sweep between them. Nani's dive in the twenty-five metre event was technically perfect, earning him the gold, whilst Ronald's dive lacked ele...
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Funny story:  Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

Cristiano Ronaldo's Penalty Miss Hilarious Says Expert

A top football expert has branded Spain's progression to the final of Euro 2012 'hilarious'. EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, was watching the Portugal v Spain semi-final on TV at his home in West Wittering because we refu...
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Funny story:  Euro 2012: Spain ask UEFA for extended half-time siesta

Euro 2012: Spain ask UEFA for extended half-time siesta

European Champions and World Cup winners Spain, have asked UEFA to increase the half-time break in their semi-final against Portugal from 15 minutes to 60 minutes as they struggle to overcome tiredness. The defending champs had to play their quart...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Ronaldo Fails New UEFA Smug Test

Real Madrid and Portugal talisman Cristiano Ronaldo faces two years on the sidelines after falling foul of UEFA's new smug testing policy. This remarkable development is sure to take the shine off his night of glory after guiding his team to a 1-0...
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Funny story:  Euro 2012: Viewers flood BBC with complaints about Portugal's Ronaldo

Euro 2012: Viewers flood BBC with complaints about Portugal's Ronaldo

The BBC were inundated with complaints tonight after the first quarter-final between Portugal and Czech Republic saw Ronaldo winking before the 9pm watershed. The incident happened at 8.25pm during the first half of the match, just after Ronaldo h...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo swears Messi is haunting him!

Ronaldo swears Messi is haunting him!

Cristiano Ronaldo is playing like a ghost of his normal self and he is convinced he knows why, there's a ghost following him everywhere called Lionel Messi! He has missed so many chances and free kicks which he normally puts away with ease for his...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo's Ego Escapes in Ukraine

Ronaldo's Ego Escapes in Ukraine

Reports from Ukraine this evening claim that the ego of Portugese superstar Christiano Ronaldo has escaped and is currently on the loose in the city of Lviv. The footballer had been celebrating his national team's thrilling victory over Denmark in th...
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Funny story:  World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

World's Best Footballer - Messi Or Ronaldo? - Local Man Gives Definitive Verdict

It's been acknowledged as the most difficult question in modern football - the sheer genius of the diminutive Argentinian, or the instinctive athletic artistry of the Portuguese? Who is the world's best footballer? The two went head to head last n...
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Funny story:  Yankees Prepare To Acquire Lebron James, Ben Roethlisberger In Bold Offseason Move

Yankees Prepare To Acquire Lebron James, Ben Roethlisberger In Bold Offseason Move

NEW YORK-The New York Yankees have once again infuriated sports fans everywhere by declaring their intention to acquire the contracts of Lebron James and Ben Roethlisberger, of the Miami Heat and Pittsburgh Steelers respectively. When asked if he...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

Ronaldo and Messi go head to head in Spanish Copa Del Raya

The Spanish cup second leg between Real Madrid and Barcelona exploded last night when star players Christiano 'Winker' Ronaldo and Lionel 'Mini' Messi went head to head in a mud wrestling challenge after 62 minutes of the game. A highly volatile m...
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Funny story:  Will Manchester City Cough Up £500 Million For Cristiano Ronaldo?

Will Manchester City Cough Up £500 Million For Cristiano Ronaldo?

There is no doubting the limitless ambition of a rejuvenated Manchester City, nor that of club owner Sheikh Mansour - but are City prepared to gamble £500 million in order to acquire Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid? And would he want to return...
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Funny story:  Ronaldo fails the "AXE" test!

Ronaldo fails the "AXE" test!

Real Madrid and Man United's ex super-star was observed at a tennis match in Madrid with his scorching, red-hot Russian girlfriend and she obviously turned him on so much he failed the "AXE" test. Photos of Ronaldo looking like he'd just finished...
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