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Funny story: Russian Takeover Of Other Nations Strategies Of Today And Tomorrow

Russian Takeover Of Other Nations Strategies Of Today And Tomorrow

2008- Russia invades former 'comrade' nation Georgia because Putin 'has Georgia on his mind….'. March 2014- Russia takes over the Crimea because they want to protect their naval fleet, and their hidden stores of vodka. June 2014- Russia begins infiltration and takeover of eastern Ukraine, wanting to 'protect the Russians living there' who invaded centuries ago. December 2014- Russia invad...
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Funny story: The Blame In Ukraine Lies Mainly in The Brain (of Putin)

The Blame In Ukraine Lies Mainly in The Brain (of Putin)

Russian separatists in Ukraine, eager to show the world just how diplomatic and democratic they are in their newly taken over territory, smashed voting tables, threatened vote takers and surrounded the home of a man vocally in support of elections...
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Funny story: Vladimir Putin: Mission Accomplished

Vladimir Putin: Mission Accomplished

Unlike President Bush, President Vladimir Putin did not fly in a navy jet, land on an aircraft carrier and announce: Mission Accomplished! Instead, Mr. Putin sailed on a white cabin cruiser (that looked more oligarch than Russian Navy) into the Crime...
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Funny story: Obama Unfriends Putin

Obama Unfriends Putin

In a clear signal of his deep displeasure with Russian President Vladimir Putin, President Obama announced today the "nuclear option" of sanctions-unfriending Putin on Facebook. "That's right, I did it" an uncharacteristically agitated president...
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Funny story: Putin mug appears on new Crimean thruppeny bit

Putin mug appears on new Crimean thruppeny bit

Chicken Kiev - Vlad the Dictator's image has appeared on Crimean coins commemorating his triumph in the 2014 Paralytic Games. The new decimal denomination sees the Russian Zloty replace the old Ukrainian Shekel in a move reflecting the annexation...
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Funny story: One Ukranian soldier armed with a shovel continues to guard barracks in Crimea

One Ukranian soldier armed with a shovel continues to guard barracks in Crimea

Most of the Ukranian forces have pulled out of Crimea but one man remains, determined to hold his ground. First Sergeant Ihor Rodchenko is the exception. Stationed a few miles out of the provincial capital, he defiantly maintains his post. The...
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Funny story: The President's clothes in disarray with sundry elephants in the room (and aboard Air Force One)

The President's clothes in disarray with sundry elephants in the room (and aboard Air Force One)

President Obama is reported seeking a hair and wardrobe advisor, who is also versatile with speech-making. The President is having problems with collars that flap up and won't stay down, assorted Bearnaise mustard stains, plus he has been glimpse...
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Funny story: Putin annoyed government minister didn't congratulate him on newly purchased Crimea

Putin annoyed government minister didn't congratulate him on newly purchased Crimea

Government minister Sergei Yarov had to apologise to Russian leader Vladimir Putin yesterday. The president had reportedly become upset when Mr Yarov failed to congratulate him on his newly-invaded state of Crimea. "Vladimir can be quite sensitive...
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Funny story: Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Putin imposes "Prima Nocte" law on all Crimean Brides

Russia stretched its political muscles over the newly-occupied area of Crimea today, with Russian leader Vladimir Putin creating a new law of "Prima Nocte" in the area. The law was popular during medieval times and allows all Russian tourists the ri...
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Funny story: President on Putin:

President on Putin:

Following is a transcript of U.S. President Barack Obama's press conference today on the Russian occupation of Crimea and other topics. Q: Mr. President, will the United States impose additional sanctions on Russia even if Europe doesn't follow suit? President: My press secretary Jay Carney told me to say, 'I don't answer hypotheticals.' Q: What do you say to critics who say your post-Ira...
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Funny story: 5 Questions about Ukraine and Crimea you're afraid to ask and really shouldn't ask

5 Questions about Ukraine and Crimea you're afraid to ask and really shouldn't ask

WASHINGTON D.C. - As Vladimir Putin defies Washington's wishes, millions of Americans are left asking questions that would never be asked in other first-world countries. Spare yourself some embarrassment and commit this info to memory. Also, change the subject if someone brings all this up in conversation. 1) Is it "The Ukraine" or "Ukraine"? Short answer: Who the hell cares? Long answer: I...
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Funny story: Ukraine's precious Vladimir Madonna icon weeping teardrops of Black Sea Crude

Ukraine's precious Vladimir Madonna icon weeping teardrops of Black Sea Crude

Crimea - Russia's seizure of Crimean territorial waters' oil and gas deposits may be behind the sudden appearance of heavy crude tears spouting from the sacred portrait according to reports from Kiev today. The famous 12th century religious paint...
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Funny story: With 105% of the Vote Counted, Crimea Joins Russia

With 105% of the Vote Counted, Crimea Joins Russia

Crimea agreed Monday to join Russia. The vote ballot stated: Russia ___ or else ___! Now the Ukraine is afraid Russia will come there next and demand a similar vote. The Crimea is a key shipping area that the Russians wanted. All that the Uk...
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Funny story: Russia Calls For U.N. Sanctions Against Hydrogen for Occupation of Oxygen

Russia Calls For U.N. Sanctions Against Hydrogen for Occupation of Oxygen

(New York) - Russia called for an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Counsel over the weekend to discuss what Russia is calling "the unprovoked, illegal and unwarranted occupation of Oxygen by Hydrogen forces." According to Russia's Permanent...
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Funny story: The hollow sound reverberating from Washington leads on toward "ripostes" and "new language fusillades" plus Senator McCain contest over Ukraine

The hollow sound reverberating from Washington leads on toward "ripostes" and "new language fusillades" plus Senator McCain contest over Ukraine

Empire and consistency don't always mix when Empire is particularly annoyed at being one-upped. This insight was delivered from somebody anonymous in an anonymous Washington office commenting on current developments in Ukraine. Very few murmurs...
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Funny story: Strange Choices On Crimea Ballot

Strange Choices On Crimea Ballot

KIEV (Reuters) - Sunday's vote in Ukraine's Crimea is being officially billed as a chance for the peninsula's peoples to decide fairly and freely their future - but in fact there is no room on the ballot paper for voting "Nyet" to control by Russia.
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Funny story: Argentine President Cristina de Kirchner likens Crimea situation to the Falklands

Argentine President Cristina de Kirchner likens Crimea situation to the Falklands

Buenos Aires - Daft Argie wackjob Cristina de Kirchner has come out on Vladimir Putin's side by backing the 'return' of the Crimean Peninsula to the Russians. In a televised address this morning President Kirchner showed just how much recent brain...
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Funny story: Crippling Sanctions Enforced on U.K. Chavs by Russia - Pirate Movies Double in Price, Sratch Cards Sabotaged

Crippling Sanctions Enforced on U.K. Chavs by Russia - Pirate Movies Double in Price, Sratch Cards Sabotaged

Russian Supremo, Vladimir Putin is retaliating against the U.K.s Chav poplulation. Thought to be in response to William Hague's devastating "debating society" dialogue, he screamed, "I will punish every single Chav in the U.K. I will sabotage scra...
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Wi-Fi signal named "Al-Qaeda Free Terror Network" Results In Long Delay For Passengers At Los Angeles Airport

'Our networks are usually named as variations on: 'Moms apple pie - God Bless America,' confirmed an Al-Qaeda spokesman. 'Otherwise it would be a bit f***ing obvious.'
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