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Recruitment Consultants Outnumber All Other Workers.

Funny story: Recruitment Consultants Outnumber All Other Workers.

The number of recruitment consultants has increased exponentially over the last six months say analysts at NecroManPower Ltd. It has got to the extent that there are five recruitment consultants to every other job in the UK. The majority of the p...

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Environmentalists buoyant as surge in sea levels comprehensively outstripped by rise in water prices

Buoyant environmentalists across the UK have asserted their satisfaction that the anticipated surge in sea levels around the globe has been comprehensively outstripped by an average 5.7% rise in household water prices. Scientists believe sea level...

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Evel Knievel now responsible for Direct Gov road safety campaign

Evel Knievel, the former stunt racing driver, is now responsible for DirectGov's 'Think' road safety campaign, as part of government plans to hive off key departmental responsibilities to those who haven't the first clue about their area of assigned...

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British Gas announces 5% increase in pretending to care about customers

British Gas has announced a 5% increase in pretending to care about its customer base after confirming it will slash 5% off electricity bills which increased by 16% in August. The move comes a day after EDF ramped up their own attempts at feigning...

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City bankers alarm as gap between rich and poor just big enough to taxi private jet through

Many City workers are concerned the gap between rich and poor may still not be sufficiently vast for their private jets to taxi through, according to a report by a think-tank. The St Paul's Institute report, Value and Values: Perceptions of Ethic...

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Bank Of America Is Bullied By Recent College Graduate Single-Handedly And Overturns Stupidity

Funny story: Bank Of America Is Bullied By Recent College Graduate Single-Handedly And Overturns Stupidity

WASHINGTON DC - Recent college graduate Molly Katchpole who not only is broke like a joke but also an aspiring politician earned her ticket to the White House when she single-handedly pulled the nations second largest bank's hands out of her pockets...

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Lotto style 'National Hottery' to combat fuel poverty

The government plans to launch a new lotto style 'National Hottery' to provide the warmth of hope to those members of the electorate struggling to combat the rising problem of 'fuel poverty', according to a leaked report. The report claims that go...

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English bank tells its customers to F++k off in the written form!

Funny story: English bank tells its customers to F++k off in the written form!

A British high street bank, beginning with H and ending with an X (certificate) has adopted a brand new customer policy for those wishing to apply for credits. They are writing to their customers and telling them to "f++k off" because they have no...

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'The Simpsons' to be produced in black and white, say Fox

US TV network Fox has said all future seasons of 'The Simpsons' will be produced in black and white after admitting it the current economic climate meant it could no longer afford to add colour to the long-running comedy. In a statement, it said a...

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World Aid - A Concert for the planet

Funny story: World Aid - A Concert for the planet

Bobby Geldorf has announced plans for a worldwide fund raiser for the world. Following the loss of trillions and trillions of pounds, presumably to aliens or by sheer carelessness, Sir Bobby aims to raise awareness of the worldwide recession. S...

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Eastenders' Queen Vic fruit machine has greater operating cash balance than UK

The latest figures released by the treasury indicate that the UK's operating cash balance is vastly inferior to that of the takings from the fruit machine used in Eastenders' eponymous pub, the Queen Vic. The figures show that at present the count...

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News International Scandal - BBC Coverage Has Media Reporters Up In Arms

Funny story: News International Scandal - BBC Coverage Has Media Reporters Up In Arms

Media reporting staff at the BBC are up in arms over the corporation's coverage of the News International crisis. For years, listeners to Radio 4's Today programme and viewers of TV news bulletins have been accustomed to listening to media corresp...

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Cost cuts much more difficult when they affect us, admit government

The government has admitted sweeping public sector cost cuts are much more difficult to deliver. This follows the results of a study conducted by an independent think tank, which revealed that the move would affect the lives of MPs, and not just the...

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Fat Cat Banker Evan Meets Fate

Funny story: Fat Cat Banker Evan Meets Fate

A banker whose manner was blunt Squandered investor's funds on a punt. The whole lot was lost At incredible cost To the nations that all bore the brunt. Just one man, whose shoulders were broad, Was sacked, for reporting the fraud. The judge in his case Said "I don't like your face" So he lost 'cause the system is flawed. That outcome ignited his zeal; Off he went to the Court of A...

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Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Funny story: Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Iceland has rejected for a second time a proposal to repay the Netherlands and UK for losses incurred after the collapse of the country's banking system. The result means that the 2 governments are still £3.5 billion out of pocket after already re...

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Global Leaders and Politicians argue about the positioning of the deck chairs and who should be sitting where!

Funny story: Global Leaders and Politicians argue about the positioning of the deck chairs and who should be sitting where!

United Nations, Manhattan, New York, USA: Whilst, Global Leaders and Politicians argue about which position the deck chairs should be arranged and who should be sitting where! Some people ask "What Iceberg? It makes no difference people of the...

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God Owes $150,000,000,000,000

Funny story: God Owes $150,000,000,000,000

Utah, TX: M. Cerillo, leader of the radical 'Christian Fist of Humility' cult, made the shock announcement on TV this morning that God is on the verge of bancruptcy and desperately needs everybody's help. Opening his Help-God-A-Thon, Cerillo said...

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Obama apologizes to Wall Street: Actually meant to blame Sesame Street for Nation's financial woes

Funny story: Obama apologizes to Wall Street: Actually meant to blame Sesame Street for Nation's financial woes

Washington, D.C.: President Obama sheepishly apologized today for his incessant attacks on Wall Street over the first 15 months of his presidency. Claiming that he often mixes up the inanimate objects he likes to blame for our nation's troubles, Oba...

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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