New York, NY - The fire department was called to quell street celebrations here after the live television audience of the pilot for the new reality TV show, "Methbusters", was accidentally exposed to massive amounts of crystal meth, according to anon...
Spoof news sites are being condemned and politicians are calling for an investigation after a recent fake story inspired a bunch of bored crack addicts to successfully bring Amy Winehouse back to life, which has baffled scientists and experts. Police...
Just in time for Spring and Summer, the Astrological Star Society based in Jackson Hole, Wyoming has expanded its customized translations for the workforce by including specialized astrology readings for working class women and men in the Crack Whore profession. Starting in May, the A.S.S. will publish new insight gleaned from the stars to guide your personal and professional lives. The stars are...
Fukushima - According to an anonymous source working at the reactor, known only as Terryachyshumo Gansakifushimi, Tokyo Electric Power is resorting to ridicules measures to block a cracked reactor here.
Tepco is flushing into this leak:
* Sty...
OUCH HOLLER, Kentucky - Seasoned police in Ouch Holler, Kentucky say that they only thought that they had seen it all.
A spokesperson for the OHPD, who was laughing so hard he could not remember his own name, stated that police officers Wydell "Bu...
Crackheads all over the country were last night putting their heads together with a view to starting a protest movement over the proposed axing of Child Benefit by the Con-Dem government.
Child Benefit payments are a vital constituent of 97% of Cr...
It was bad enough that Steven Jackson lost his job one year ago as a Wall Street floor trader. Then things went from bad to worse. Following a series of failed attempts to obtain employment, Steven was forced to take a job with the US Government as...
It emerged today that Prince William, has secretly spent the last week in a crack den to better understand the effects of the notorious drug, crack-cocaine. Stumbling out of a squat in Brixton, South West London, the second in line to the throne look...
According US Commerce Department spokesperson Bikey Schwinn China has been hitting people with pipes here in the United States.
The small crack pipes make amazingly good weapons when wielded by Kung Fu artists from China. In retaliation, the US w...
PEORIA, Illinois - George Somerset is a man who has lost everything for love, and after his latest try, may now have lost even hope. This once prosperous businessman and homeowner is now at the local homeless shelter, trying to find out where it all...
The Government have announced new measures to raise extra funding for the Metropolitan Police. The move has been endorsed by the Mayoral appointed New Chief Constable Lord Jeffery Archer.
During the past year Crack Cocaine with a street value of a...
Out of a toilet in a darkened night club in Los Angeles, George Michael was once again caught with his pants down & his nose in crack, smoking crack.
He admitted to being in possession of a crack, but felt he should not be charged as he had...
Regent's Park - (Ass Mess): Controversial plans initiated by former Culture Club secretary Tessa Jowl to install a crack dealing den complex in Regent's Park have been thrown out by Westminster Council.
The Tate Modern in London is displaying a new installation comprising of an enormous crack in the floor of the Turbine hall.
"Murder She Wrote" actress and jailed killer Angela Lansbury has been unveiling the roster of new acts she has signed to her "Crack Bitch" label.
In light of recent and previous cave-ins by the wussiecrat majority in congress, we should all, by now, be disabused of any notions of political hope. But I have a dream. Actually, it happens sometimes in those Intermediate Bardos between sleep and what is called the wakeful state, or better regarded as the sanctioned hallucination, where a cosmic crack occurs in the collapse of a probability wave...
Today Lindsay Lohan managed to make a bigger fool of herself than most people thought possible. She has been caught driving intoxicated (again) and possessed several bags of powdered substance thought to be crack cocaine.
GRANDMOTHER of five, Dorothea Wilberton, has sparked a legal controversy after a judge directed a jury to acquit the 76-year-old of drugs charges after accepting her argument that crack cocaine was 'like a tonic' to her.