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Funny story: Enemy #1 is Cow Flatulence, Not al-Qaeda

Enemy #1 is Cow Flatulence, Not al-Qaeda

Al Gore and Michael Moore are planning to do a new movie and launch a major effort to stop so much cow flatulence from getting into the atmosphere. The going is slow right at present because of it being so hard to video a cow farting at just the r...
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Funny story: India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

India Desperate For Money Agrees To Sell 17,000 Sacred Cows To Japan

NEW DELHI, India - The country of India, like most of the world's countries, has been going through a tough time economically. The Taj Mahal National News Agency has just announced some shocking news coming out of the nation's capital of New Delhi...
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Funny story: Men Arrested Of Abusing Cows Claim It Was By Moo-tual Consent

Men Arrested Of Abusing Cows Claim It Was By Moo-tual Consent

Two men who have been arrested on suspicion of sexually abusing cows are claiming that the cows not only agreed to the abuse but encouraged it. One of the men is accused of trying to have sex with several of the animals while another man, filmed...
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Funny story: Stephen Hawking: Whole Lot of Shit Going Down!

Stephen Hawking: Whole Lot of Shit Going Down!

Prominent scientist, Stephen Hawking stated today that both Greenpeace and other environmental groups are fighting a losing battle with nature. "There are about 7 billion people on the earth today. Let's say they have one good crap each day. Now I...
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Funny story: Congress Approves Cow Fartknockers For Environment!

Congress Approves Cow Fartknockers For Environment!

In a short speech Friday morning that was watched closely by the nation's farmers, Vice President Joe Biden and some of the members of the House of Representatives announced that there was no use for panic among the cattle ranchers and farmers. "W...
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Funny story: An Examination of the Worth of Cow Urine

An Examination of the Worth of Cow Urine

New Delhi invented a new product made from cow urine that has a wide range of cures from cancer, diarrhea, to diabetes. It is on sale by the Bharatiya Janata Party and one of their officials claims, "My daughter tried all kinds of things" to rid of h...
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Funny story: A Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Shoots A Pelican - Says He Thought It Was A Spy Drone

A Wisconsin Dairy Farmer Shoots A Pelican - Says He Thought It Was A Spy Drone

KENOSHA, Wisconsin - Dairy farmer Wendell Hickenbocker, 68, who has been in the cow milking business for 47 years, said that he has been watching CNN and hearing a lot about these so called spy drones that Canada is reportedly sending up to spy on Am...
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Funny story: Butter Cow Vandal Caught Red Handed

Butter Cow Vandal Caught Red Handed

Des Moines, Iowa- A member of "Iowans for Animal Liberation", the animal activist group that recently vandalized the butter cow sculpture at the Iowa State Fair, has been caught. William Baston is in police custody and is singing like a canary, or m...
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Funny story: Bionic Woman

Bionic Woman

The Bionic Woman was created out of spare, mostly human, somewhat female body parts as a companion for Colonel Steve Austin, a lonely former astronaut-become-cyborg, after she dove headfirst into a cow patty from a height of 12,000 feet in an attempt to decorate a clover patch with her remains. Before her tragic accident, she had been a tennis player known for her wicked backhand. Rebuilt by Dr...
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Funny story: Cows Come Home, Party's Over

Cows Come Home, Party's Over

Thousands of partygoers were disappointed last night when they had to stop their festivities because the cows came home. "I've always heard people say, 'Party 'til the cows come home,' and that's what we were doing. But never in a million years...
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Funny story: Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

Horsemeat Contaminated with Cow

A horse has been found with 60% beef in it. Which technically makes it a cow but the animal is very confused. It has raised concern over how many other horses are infact cows and therefore potentially contaminating our favourite foods. Consume...
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Funny story: Candy Corn-Fed Cows Are Much More Hyper

Candy Corn-Fed Cows Are Much More Hyper

PADUCAH, Kentucky - Atticus Grumpletoy, 71, owner of The Hoot & Holler Cattle Ranch located on the Kentucky-Illinois border recently stated that he has been feeding his 2,000 head of cattle candy corn since the first week in August. Grumpletoy...
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Funny story: Missouri Cows Infect Two Iowa Bulls with a STD

Missouri Cows Infect Two Iowa Bulls with a STD

Des Moines, Iowa -- Two Iowa bulls have been diagnosed with a venereal disease after a wild night of partying across the state line in Missouri. Iowa agricultural officials have placed the two hapless bulls under quarantine after they tested posit...
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Funny story: Emotionally Indifferent Barn Dweller's Sickness, AKA Mad Cow Disease, Claims Another Bovine

Emotionally Indifferent Barn Dweller's Sickness, AKA Mad Cow Disease, Claims Another Bovine

SAN FRANCISCO -- A California dairy cow previously identified as having Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease, has been euthanized. Federal officials stated that in the last several weeks the cow had been exhibiting classic symptoms o...
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Funny story: Cows are Evil

Cows are Evil

They look as innocent as babies in an advertisement for starving children. Large, moist eyes sit unblinking over lips as flat as the Midwest horizon. Flies buzzing about their heads fail to visibly perturb them, as if they are so resigned to their plight that their last, best revolt is to remain stoic and not give the flies the satisfaction of letting them know they are annoying. They are Zen-li...
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Funny story: Women should carry dead fetuses long time, Georgia state representative England

Women should carry dead fetuses long time, Georgia state representative England

ATLANTA, Ga. - State representative Terry England regaled the state house with stories of the olden days when he worked on a farm delivering dead pig and cow fetuses. Equating these barnyard friends with human females, England argued that what's good...
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Funny story: Methane gas discovered up cow's arse

Methane gas discovered up cow's arse

A herd of cattle could solve a Yorkshire village's heating problems. Wetwang vet Rod Uppingham thought he'd located a massive supply of methane gas during a routine pregnancy test on a 5-year-old Friesian at a Wolds farm. Farmer's wife Iris Niff...
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Funny story: Sweetness to slaughter cows

Sweetness to slaughter cows

New York, NY - The U.N. has proclaimed that effective today, no animals will be slaughtered with barbaric and painful mechanical means, such as shooting in the head. Animals will be slaughtered sweetly. Ms. Beeker, our correspondent at the U.N. r...
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Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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