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Italy Hires Somali Refugees To Strip Stranded Cruise Ship

Funny story: Italy Hires Somali Refugees To Strip Stranded Cruise Ship

Rome, Italy - The Italian Government has grown discouraged with the constant delays that have plagued the engineering efforts to re-float the Costa Concordia cruise ship from where it ran aground, off the Tuscany coast. The now infamous cruise lin...

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Somali pirates tracking stricken cuise liner as new hex strikes Costa Concordia sister-ship

Funny story: Somali pirates tracking stricken cuise liner as new hex strikes Costa Concordia sister-ship

Indian Ocean - "She's now a sitting duck for Somali pirates," a source close to Italian chief coast guard Commander Cosimo Nicastro tweeted this afternoon. Indeed, the Costa Allegra is in some peril adrift at sea tonight amid fears an 'arsonist p...

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Rumors of A Romantic Involvement Between Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan Rock The Set of "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"

Funny story: Rumors of A Romantic Involvement Between Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan Rock The Set of "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"

CATALINA ISLAND, California - According to several unnamed sources there appears to be a little more going on, on the set of the motion picture Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino than just acting.

Read full story View 'Rumors of A Romantic Involvement Between Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan Rock The Set of "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"'

Woman Becomes First to Marry a Corporation

Funny story: Woman Becomes First to Marry a Corporation

Local woman, Elizabeth Potter, will be the first person to actually marry a corporation. The Supreme Court ruled that corporations have the same rights and responsibilities as a person. Potter states that her marriage to Apple, Inc will help en...

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Coronation Chicken of the Seas* to be Queen's Diamond Jubilee dish

Funny story: Coronation Chicken of the Seas* to be Queen's Diamond Jubilee dish

London - Pollo impagliato 'Schettino' - (Francesco) Schettino-style stuffed chicken - has been named the Duchess of Cornwall's Diamond Jubilee dish in a competition to feed her mother-in-law. Camilla launched the cookery compy at the Nova Herod (!...

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Costa Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company

Funny story: Costa Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company

Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat. Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...

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WTF 'Costa Concordia captain is Diana RIP driver Henri Paul's son?'

Funny story: WTF 'Costa Concordia captain is Diana RIP driver Henri Paul's son?'

Rome - "Is a loada bollox," the editor of Italy's best selling Corriere Della Que Sera Sera thundered this afternoon. Rival Italian red tops are not so sure, however, and continue to probe reports that the captain of the stricken vessel 'may be He...

Read full story View 'WTF 'Costa Concordia captain is Diana RIP driver Henri Paul's son?''

Titanic inquest: Captain Basil Fawlty says he tripped into lifeboat

Funny story: Titanic inquest: Captain Basil Fawlty says he tripped into lifeboat

The cruise-liner captain accused of abandoning ship after it struck rocks off the Tuscan coast last Friday has reportedly claimed he could not lead the evacuation because he slipped and fell into a lifeboat while helping passengers leave the stricken...

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Titanic latest: Reggie Perrin 'missing at sea'

Funny story: Titanic latest: Reggie Perrin 'missing at sea'

Fears were growing last night as the whereabout of businessman Reggie Perrin, last seen boarding the doomed Titanic ship for a short break after a stressful time at his job with Sunshines Desserts. Family and friends of Reggie Perrin gathered last...

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OMG! Beeb's Strictly Come Dancing-themed cruise holiday was being filmed on Costa Concordia!

Funny story: OMG! Beeb's Strictly Come Dancing-themed cruise holiday was being filmed on Costa Concordia!

Rome - The themed luxury cruise show's debut was to have been filmed aboard the Costa Concordia just as she smashed her way onto Giglio Island rocks. An announcement just before Christmas said the BBC's flagship entertainment show had been success...

Read full story View 'OMG! Beeb's Strictly Come Dancing-themed cruise holiday was being filmed on Costa Concordia!'

Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan To Star In "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"

Funny story: Johnny Depp and Lindsay Lohan To Star In "Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa Concordia Francesco Schettino"

HOLLYWOOD - The star of The Pirates of The Caribbean series Johnny Depp has just been cast to portray Italian cruise ship Captain Francesco Schettino AKA Captain Crunch. The movie titled Chicken of The Sea - The Story of The Captain of The Costa C...

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Queen's reign will end 'much like Costa Concordia' stargazers warn

Funny story: Queen's reign will end 'much like Costa Concordia' stargazers warn

London - Belly-up predictions published today foresee a beached Prince of Wails and his Gorgon wife stand trial for treason on Tyburn Hill. Hellfire Club sibyls are pretty certain the Costa Concordia sinking is a true lodestar omen as far as celes...

Read full story View 'Queen's reign will end 'much like Costa Concordia' stargazers warn'

Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes 'to join crew of Italian ship Titanic'

Funny story: Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes 'to join crew of Italian ship Titanic'

The owners of Titanic ship Pierre Luigi Luigi today claimed that Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes will join the crew when the boat is ready to relaunch at the end of 2012. "Eeeee is just what we need - an expert on 'ow yu say - the rescue...

Read full story View 'Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes 'to join crew of Italian ship Titanic''

'Now the Carnival is Over' as Kate Middleton wedding portrait spotted floating inside stricken Costa Concordia

Funny story: 'Now the Carnival is Over' as Kate Middleton wedding portrait spotted floating inside stricken Costa Concordia

Rome - Rumors that the Carnival Dream Class cruiser was hexed right from its 2006 launch took a new twist today. The royal wedding picture, seen by divers trying to blow a large new access hole in the capsized vessel, has confirmed the very worst.

Read full story View ''Now the Carnival is Over' as Kate Middleton wedding portrait spotted floating inside stricken Costa Concordia'

Marine UFO seen 'taunting' Costa Concordia minutes before fatal prang

Funny story: Marine UFO seen 'taunting' Costa Concordia minutes before fatal prang

Italy - Some alien marine artefucts were spotted bobbing in the waters amid reports an Unidentified Submerged Object may have goaded the stricken cruiser onto Giglio's uncharted rocks. "Such craft are notorious for luring wayward vessels," an alie...

Read full story View 'Marine UFO seen 'taunting' Costa Concordia minutes before fatal prang'

'Mental' new royal yacht plan bombs as Prince Jefri Archer offers to hire out his 'Tits'

Funny story: 'Mental' new royal yacht plan bombs as Prince Jefri Archer offers to hire out his 'Tits'

London - Sad-ass Education Secretary Michael Gove's diamond jubilee brainwave hit the rocks today...much like the 'hexed' Costa Concordia on Friday the 13th. Widespread national derision about schmoozing the Windsors with a brand new £60 million f...

Read full story View ''Mental' new royal yacht plan bombs as Prince Jefri Archer offers to hire out his 'Tits''

Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?

Funny story: Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?

Rome - Italian cruise ship owners have denied reports that the Costa Concordia's capsizing last night was caused partly by a surge to the eat-as-much-as-you-like self service counter. The dining room's buffet spread was groaning under the massive...

Read full story View 'Stampede by grossly obese passengers to all-you-can-eat counter responsible for Costa Concordia sinking?'

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Jabba the Trump

I find when I watch cable news in the morning, I much prefer watching Donald Trump talk with the volume off. Imagine an orange Jabba the Hutt as a talentless mime.
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