Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn.
Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a g...
Reports are coming in from Cornwall that a man-eating fridge freezer has been spotted basking in St Ives waters: "The massive beast came within yards of my boat as i was trawling round Zennor Head" said fisherman Blimey Windy.
Now speculation is m...
A Hurricane over the Isles of Silly is on course for the mainland of Britain. Nothing else matters in the world and waves can be seen in the English channel.
An order has gone out to everyone living in Cornwall and Devon to move immediately to Fra...
Hello, me dearios. I've been perambulatin' again. Perambulatin' I have. And my peregrinations, they have revealed much to me about the ways of our island people.
I did follow the ancient Way of the Cladger, through the old branglin' grounds of Somerset, and there I did espy the Church of St Ethel, at Upper Nacker, where lie the remains of Gideon Piddler, the inventor of the Steam Grundler in 18...
Millions of 3' long monster worms are threatening the complete destruction of Cornwall.
Biologists predict the 'honeycomb' effect of Portuguese worms will see most of the county eroded below sea level by 2020.
"Within a decade, other than a f...
The announcement that Cornish Pasties have been awarded a Protected Geographical Indication status under European Commission rules has delighted many a pasty maker from Cornwall. The status allows only them to label their pasties Cornish using a str...
The European Court is likely to protect the Cornish Pasty by giving it a PGI (Pretty Good Indigestion) award - meaning that only Pasties prepared in Cornwall can be called 'Cornish Pasties'.
Pasties made in Devon, following the same recipe, cannot...
Mass horror in Cornwall today as what has been described as the "Anti-Santa" was witnessed stealing presents from homes in Worsley Dorsley.
Mrs. Elena Morris woke up this morning and discovered a leering fat man dressed in green with a lethal sack...
Bored citizens of St Austell calling for its independence from the UK have admitted accidentally flooding the area by taking advantage of the adverse weather conditions during a botched attempt at turning the town into an island.
"Island of Auste...
Port Wenn, Cornwall - Local GP, Doctor Martin Ellingham today stiffly denied that he had officiated at the birth of the Cameron baby earlier this week as he addressed hordes of pressmen on the doorstep of his surgery.
Doc Martin - as the locals ca...
A sudden and shocking gust of wind in a small cornish village caused a usually straight standing tree to 'lean dramatically'.
Eyewitness Kenwyn Cribbs told us "we were all in the pub when this gust came whippin' by! Next thing ol' leafy, thats the...
Tavistock - David Cameron made his first public appearance outside of London as prime minister here today to honour Tavistock's most famous son, Jonas Falmouth, a wheelwright who invented the paint-stirring stick in 1342. Cameron spoke at the dedica...
Gary "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" Clitter, has finally found a safe haven after The Cornish Parliament gave the thumbs-up to Vietnam's favourite English Teacher and provided him a safe haven in Looe.
The Stannary were apparently very pleased to h...
A school of dolphins found lounging about on a picturesque beach in Cornwall have been arrested by police and charged with being environmentally unfriendly. If convicted, the maximum sentence is death
Salisbury Plain - (Paleolithic Mess): Archaeologists excavating Stonehenge have stumbled on what has been described as a stunning human life-sized amethyst crystal skull believed to date from circa 5,000 BC.
Cornwall - (Nazi Mess): The only son of Fuhrer Adolf Hitler is alive and well living in an English village and has several Grandchildren according to reports circulating on the internet.
Tito Jackson has decided to convert a farm in Somerset instead buying a house in Devon, Reg Quantrill of The Wurzels has sold Tito one of his surplus farm properties.