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Funny satire stories about Contraceptives

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Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...
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Funny story: Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Cardinal Searches For Condoms At 7-11's

Sunday, On National Television, Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York said, "Contraceptives, that are now widely available -- my Lord, all you have to do is walk into a 7-11 or any shop on any street in America and have access to them -- is that right...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Begs Student For Forgiveness!

Rush Limbaugh Begs Student For Forgiveness!

Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh apologized Saturday and again three different times on Sunday to a Georgetown University law student he had branded a "slut" and "prostitute" and "bigot" after fellow Republicans as well as Democrats criticiz...
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Funny story: News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter

The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed between the knees. Women...
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Funny story: Pope's Position On Condoms Still Not Clear

Pope's Position On Condoms Still Not Clear

Despite being welcomed as a step in the right direction, the Pope's relaxation of the Roman Catholic church's total ban on contraceptives has still left questions unanswered. Last week, Pope Benedict, surprised observers world-wide by suggesting t...
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Funny story: Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Holy Foam Contraceptive Approved by Pope in Cases of Unhappy Marriage

Following on the heels of Pope Benedict's decision to allow condom use in certain circumstances to guard against the spread of AIDS and other communicable sexual diseases, the Pope has made another landmark decision. The Pope has declared that a s...
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Funny story: Susan Boyle to release Contraceptive

Susan Boyle to release Contraceptive

Following the success of the recently released JLS condoms (choose a member to cover your member), Trojan have announced that they will be releasing a rival product designed to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STDs. The Susan Boyle insp...
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Funny story: Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Vuvuzela Buzzing Now Being Studied as Effective Contraceptive

Soccer fans in South Africa aren't the only ones complaining about the constant buzzing of the vuvuzelas during the World Cup. Local South African farmers are surprised at the results the buzzing is having on their livestock. The noise is having a...
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Funny story: Geeks Unlikely To Get Laid This Decade Come Up With New Contraceptives: Ray Guns

Geeks Unlikely To Get Laid This Decade Come Up With New Contraceptives: Ray Guns

The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation dropped nearly $100,000 on an idea of using ultrasound as a temporary and reversible male contraceptive. Sounds fancy, doesn't it? Let's rephrase. Bill Gates gave someone a 100Gs to blast your balls with supers...
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Funny story: Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Madison Avenue, New York - Once rabbits were used to determine if a "woman" was pregnant, giving up their lives in the process, but those days were as barbaric and outmoded as parental supervision is today. All thanks to a US court ruling that has or...
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Funny story: Boy Scout Rule: Wrap that Tool!

Boy Scout Rule: Wrap that Tool!

The century old British youth organization, the Boy Scouts will have a new merit badge to attain this year. Along with the usual virtues of the pledge, Be Prepared will soon have a new meaning. Head of the Scout Association Conrad Traception expl...
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Funny story: Palin Intrauterine Device on eBay

Palin Intrauterine Device on eBay

A intrauterine device claimed to be used by Sarah Palin has been offered for sale on ebay. The device as pictured right is more commonly known as a 'coil' and is said to have been found under Palin's podium after her recent debate with Joe Biden.
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Funny story: Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Church Bans Sexual Intercourse

Amidst growing concerns that Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on a rise, the Vatican has decided to do away with sexual intercourse itself. This new directive shall ensure that the previous directives banning contraception remain in place.
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Funny story: President Bush set to Veto Contraception Aid Bill

President Bush set to Veto Contraception Aid Bill

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - That's right sports fans! It's baseball time at the White House. The Senate passed a bill favoring aid for contraception to overseas groups that support abortion. President Bush is up at bat, ready to ta...
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Funny story: Pentagram Liars slander Iran for IUD's in Iraq/Afghanistan

Pentagram Liars slander Iran for IUD's in Iraq/Afghanistan

TEHRAN (Kavkaz Center News Agency) - Innocent victim Iranian officials remained quiet today as devil Bush regime's puppet Pentagram mouthpiece Robert Gates lobbed a hot potato of lies, accusing Iran's Quds Force of providing weapons and IUD&#...
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Funny story: Anti-Birth Control Activists Cite Possibility of Fifth Baldwin Brother as Reason to Avoid Contraception

Anti-Birth Control Activists Cite Possibility of Fifth Baldwin Brother as Reason to Avoid Contraception

The National Anti-birth Control Organization, Bring on the Babies (BOB) has begun its most recent campaign in the streets of Hollywood by citing the possible implications birth control has had on the entertainment world.
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Funny story: Internet subliminals are the ultimate male contraceptive

Internet subliminals are the ultimate male contraceptive

London - (Associated Mess): Cyberspace geeks working on new wi-fi solutions for tracking parole absconders have stumbled upon what may prove to be the ultimate male contraceptive: a subliminal 'pop-up' image of non-anaesthetic vasectomy that...
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Justin Bieber and North Korean Leader On Same Fantasy Basketball Site

Pop star Justin Bieber and North Korean despot Kim Jong Un are both on the same fantasy basketball website, battling it out in cyberspace over the comic collection Kim says Justin ripped him off on.

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