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Funny story: Trump wants to protect Articles 8 through 12, even though they don't exist

Trump wants to protect Articles 8 through 12, even though they don't exist

Washington, D.C. - Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump vows to protect all 12 Articles of the Constitution, should he be elected president. Although this news was welcome music to many Americans, most of those Americans appear to be une...
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Funny story: U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

U. S. Constitution Found Dead in an Alley in Washington, D.C. GOP Being Held as a Person of Interest

WASHINGTON, D. C.--The Constitution was found dead last Thursday evening in a back alley, its bullet-ridden body soaked in blood. Suspiciously, article five of the Constitution, which begins, "The Congress, whenever two thirds of both houses shall d...
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Funny story: Obama Disarms ISIS with His Trademark Smile

Obama Disarms ISIS with His Trademark Smile

After decades of an expanding - and largely ineffective - "War on Terror," President Barack Obama recently succeeded in disarming the militant jihadist group ISIS using merely his trademark smile. Sources report that in a confidential meeting wit...
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Funny story: Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

Upholding constitutional rights proves an easy feat for one University

President Tonto recently upheld the constitutional protection for students to bear arms within the classroom and other public and private areas on the campus of Dumas State University. For weeks, students have staged sit-ins and demonstrations evoki...
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Funny story: Controversial FEMA plan meets stiff constitutional resistance

Controversial FEMA plan meets stiff constitutional resistance

(Washington, D.C.) Ahead of a blizzard expected to cripple the northeast, President Obama today signed a sweeping Executive Order that his critics say is a brazen attempt to consolidate more unfettered power into his hands. The President granted unpr...
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Funny story: The Foundering Fathers, on Original Intent

The Foundering Fathers, on Original Intent

"The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." 19th Amendment to the Constitution, ratified, 1920 We hold these truths to be self evident-- That all men are created equally Except for political expediency Where slaves are three-fifths property. These truths we're told are quite self evident: Th...
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Funny story: President Obama Adopts NBA Constitution

President Obama Adopts NBA Constitution

In a bold move signaling his dedication to pushing through his agenda in his remaining time in office, President Obama's Press Secretary announced today the signing of a new Executive Order, dubbed "Governmental Reorganization to Provide Economic Inc...
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Funny story: Donald Trump: I'm Electing Myself President! Gives GOP One Billion Dollar Check!

Donald Trump: I'm Electing Myself President! Gives GOP One Billion Dollar Check!

For the first time in U.S. history one single campaign donation has elected a new president, three years before the actual election! Super Republican wackjob Donald Trump, wrote the GOP a one billion dollar check and elected himself the next Pre...
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Funny story: Man fights for 3rd Amendment rights!

Man fights for 3rd Amendment rights!

Jimbo "Spanks" Williams is angry. Spanks lives in a trailer directly across the road from Fort Campbell, KY. During a recent winter storm, several soldiers returning to base on a bus, broke down next to his trailer. The commanding officer, Major...
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Funny story: Kim Jong Un to Begin Using "Basketball Rules" to Govern North Korea

Kim Jong Un to Begin Using "Basketball Rules" to Govern North Korea

Crazy and unpredictable dictator of North Korea Kim Jong Un today announced that he had been studying the economics and history of his country and had reached an epiphany regarding the way North Korea has been governed. Instead of the doctrine o...
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Funny story: What's Old is New Again--the USS Constitution's Facelift

What's Old is New Again--the USS Constitution's Facelift

Yep, she needed it. That floating piece of--um--history started out as an abandoned, shrunken, weathered behemoth measuring an impressive three hundred and four feet from bowsprit to spanker. (Don't ask). There was a budget crunch in 1797, but...
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Funny story: U. S. Army adopts politically correct Approved Reading List

U. S. Army adopts politically correct Approved Reading List

FORT MYER, VA - In an ongoing effort to promote nudism, the U. S. Army has forbidden a soldier from reading books by conservative authors while he is in uniform. Corporal (formerly Master Sergeant) Nathan Sommers, who has served "with honor but w...
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Funny story: Famous Supreme Court Cases

Famous Supreme Court Cases

The Supreme Court will hear arguments for two potentially-landmark cases for gay marriage this week. Here's a look back at some of the pivotal decisions the Court has rendered on in its history. 1857: Perhaps the most criticized ruling of all-time, the court holds in Dred Scott v. Sandford that people of African descent are not actually human beings. Oddly, no black people were even involved in...
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Funny story: New Yorkers Tired of Bending Over for 'Stop and Frisk'; Cops Suggest Alternatives

New Yorkers Tired of Bending Over for 'Stop and Frisk'; Cops Suggest Alternatives

New York - The heat is on the "stop and frisk" powers of the NYPD. Heavy political pressure has prompted Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly to develop alternatives to a procedure that allows police to detain and search anyone, at any time, withou...
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Funny story: Prime Minister reveals Plan for Constitutional Change

Prime Minister reveals Plan for Constitutional Change

It was confirmed by the Prime Minister today that plans for a far-reaching constitutional change that will involve the introduction of a new convention, that mystic instrument usually used by British politicians to cover up any sort of injustice infl...
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Funny story: Vivian's Way

Vivian's Way

NEW YORK (AP) - NPR chief, Vivian Schiller, denied that there was anything "mafia-like" in her firing of news man, Juan Williams. "We run a legitimate business here at NPR." When asked why she was not prepared to meet Juan Williams in person w...
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Funny story: American Political Candidates Continue to Misquote the Constitution

American Political Candidates Continue to Misquote the Constitution

Wielded as a sword of honesty, truth and used as the foundational document to support a political platform of "change", the U.S. Constitution is routinely misquoted and misrepresented by the same candidates asking for your votes this November. Reg...
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Funny story: Barack Obama Wants to Replace U.S. Constitution with PRO-stitution

Barack Obama Wants to Replace U.S. Constitution with PRO-stitution

President Barack Obama today announced a new initiative to replace the United States Constitution, now in place for some 225 years, with a new type of document, which he referred to as a PRO-stitution. This news sent most news reporters off looking f...
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Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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