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Funny story: Homeless Man Strikes Oil, Dave Cameron Provides Immediate Humanitarian Assistance

Homeless Man Strikes Oil, Dave Cameron Provides Immediate Humanitarian Assistance

Liverpool, A homeless man forced to dig for a better way of life struck oil yesterday. Joe Murphy (50) originally from Bootle but homeless for the last 5 years due to devastating Tory cuts in welfare and unemployment assistance will now receive round...
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Funny story: Former football pundit Alan Hansen appointed as new Defence Secretary

Former football pundit Alan Hansen appointed as new Defence Secretary

Prime Minister David Cameron announced this morning in London that former television pundit and Liverpool defender Alan Hansen has been appointed as the new Secretary of Defence. "Alan has a history of making sure nothing slips past him. That wor...
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Funny story: Cameron hopes introduction of female ministers in cabinet re-shuffle will finally get Michael Gove laid

Cameron hopes introduction of female ministers in cabinet re-shuffle will finally get Michael Gove laid

Conservative leader David Cameron announced in a press conference on Saturday at number 10 that his introduction of several new female ministers was done with the sole intention of getting former minister for schools Michael Gove laid. Addressing...
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Funny story: Bang! And Your Taxes Are Gone!

Bang! And Your Taxes Are Gone!

The Conservative party have sanctioned the creation of bank notes that safely and silently self-destruct when they are invested into banks or Network Rail but cause more destruction than a starved hyena in a baby ward when invested into Job Seekers A...
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Funny story: Coalition Will Use Savings From Cuts To Dig Up Bodies Of Welfare Cheats

Coalition Will Use Savings From Cuts To Dig Up Bodies Of Welfare Cheats

London. The PM 'Dave' Cameron announced that the coalition plans using savings made from denying the poor and vulnerable their basic needs to dig up the bodies of deceased welfare cheats and display them in public until "their relatives do the decent...
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Funny story: 'Dave' Cameron Unveils 'Tough But Fair' Plan To Exterminate Poor and Vulnerable People

'Dave' Cameron Unveils 'Tough But Fair' Plan To Exterminate Poor and Vulnerable People

London. The prime minister David Cameron today announced that he would not rule out resorting to death squads in an effort to "make poverty history". 'Tough but fair' measures will be introduced if the Tories are returned to power after the next elec...
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Funny story: Hague - No Ginger Beer for Russia Until Putin Leaves Best Bits Of Ukraine Alone - So There!!'

Hague - No Ginger Beer for Russia Until Putin Leaves Best Bits Of Ukraine Alone - So There!!'

Foreign Secretary and Ginger Beer heir, William Hague said this morning: "We will take sanctions to a fourth level and make sure no - one in Russia can get Ginger Beer if secret agents, plain clothes soldiers and tanks do not immediately leave the be...
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Funny story: Welfare Caps to be Introduced

Welfare Caps to be Introduced

MP's have overwhelmingly voted in favour of introducing a Welfare Cap, starting from 2015. In a move proposed by the Chancellor in last weeks Budget, all recipients of Welfare benefits will be required, by law, to wear baseball-style caps. The...
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Funny story: Beer & Bingo - Jolly Good Fun!

Beer & Bingo - Jolly Good Fun!

Grant Scnapps, Tory Chairman - whose father was a well known immigrant from Eastern Europe - has twitted that Beer & Bingo are the working man's (and woman's) greatest joys. But he has landed himself in at Eton Mess. He has been clobbered by t...
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Funny story: Budget favourable to People with Bingo Wings

Budget favourable to People with Bingo Wings

Chancellor George Osborne has hailed his Budget as one for "makers, doers and savers...with bingo wings" after many measures made seemed to favour those with excess flesh around their upper arm area. The ability for those exhibiting surplus arm sk...
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Funny story: Poor Children Are Better Off Going Hungry

Poor Children Are Better Off Going Hungry

It's hard to imagine that conservative political ideology asserting that poor children are better off going hungry could make any sense. But actually it does. As leading Republican intellectual Rep. Paul Ryan says, "Federally funded school lunch pr...
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Funny story: Shock as Actual Difference in Policy Announced

Shock as Actual Difference in Policy Announced

Labour leader and aardvark impersonator Ed Miliband has announced that the party will not offer a referendum on EU membership if they were to gain power, directly opposed to the current Governments promise of holding an In/Out referendum on the issue...
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Funny story: Osbourne Suffers Whiplash

Osbourne Suffers Whiplash

Chancellor of the not-only-English Exchequer George Osbourne has suffered a severe bout of whiplash, courtesy of his considerably hard neck. It is believed it ocurred when insisting that an Independent Scotland would not be allowed to use the Poun...
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Funny story: Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

Independent Scotland 'wouldn't flood', claims Sturgeon

There would be no flooding in an independent Scotland it was claimed today. The bold statement was made by Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who was making a speech from somewhere up really, really high. "This just goes to prove yet another diff...
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Funny story: David Cameron's Forehead to get its Own Sitcom

David Cameron's Forehead to get its Own Sitcom

It has been revealed that the Prime Ministers colossal Forehead is set to have its own television show. It is believed the move is designed to deter the Forehead from upstaging it's owner at all public appearances and political television shows an...
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Funny story: English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

English Parliament to Criminalize the Celebration of Christmas by Welfare Claimants

There will be no dreaming of a white trash Christmas on the council estate or the trailer park for benefit claimants from 2016 if the Government succeed in passing a law to prohibit the celebration of Christmas by those in receipt of welfare revealed...
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Funny story: Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

Latest Government Austerity Measures Cause Havoc On Nations Pockets

David Cameron, Prime Minister and Conservative, has unveiled his latest tactic in achieving 'permanent austerity' in Britain. Announcing his latest plan at a banquet, held in honour of having expensive parties for people who don't really do anythi...
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Funny story: Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

Obese to Solve Cameron's Energy Price Crisis

In a panicked response to Ed Miliband's popular policy of freezing energy prices, Prime Minister David Cameron today made an unscheduled visit to the House of Commons to announce a new personally endorsed initiative to solve his government's energy p...
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NYPD snorts of derision at latest drug story

Apparently a 'baffled' FIT student found10 pounds of coke in her luggage and voluntarily turned it in

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