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Funny story: Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

Parents object to condoms in sex ed lessons

BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
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Funny story: The Milwaukee Bucks Are The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

The Milwaukee Bucks Are The NBA's Cellar Dwellers

MILWAULKEE - The fans of the Milwaukee Bucks are starting to chant "Go Yucks" at their home games. Coach Larry Drew's team's record is a very dismal 8-37. The Bucks are in last place in the entire 30 team league. One fan who refused to give his...
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Funny story: Coming Soon: The iCondom

Coming Soon: The iCondom

NEW YORK CITY - National Focus Magazine is reporting that The Milky Way Prophylactic Company, which is based in Long Island, New York, has announced it newest product. Company spokesperson Richard "Dick" Tarsonberry spoke with NFM's Durango Tucker...
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Funny story: Mississippi Rejects The Bill That Would Have Banned Condoms

Mississippi Rejects The Bill That Would Have Banned Condoms

JACKSON, Mississippi - The senate of the state of Mississippi has just voted down a very controversial proposal. State Senator Roy LeRoy Witchboro [R-Pascagoula] spoke with National Focus Magazine and said that the debate on banning condoms within...
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Funny story: New Vegan Condom Available!

New Vegan Condom Available!

A company in Roanoke, Virginia has announced that they have a new "Vegan" condom they call "The Banana Peel" that is the perfect answer for vegans who want to to go natural but don't feel comfortable about wearing a lambskin. "We think we have a b...
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Funny story: Wynonna Judd Explains The Baby Bump

Wynonna Judd Explains The Baby Bump

WATERLOO, Iowa - The crowd at The Crop Rotation Convention Center in Waterloo fell in love with Wynonna Judd and her gallery of hit songs. After the concert Wynonna spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine in her $1.2 million customized tou...
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Funny story: Junior designer makes her own prom dress

Junior designer makes her own prom dress

FISHWIFE, MI - Diane McTease, a high school student from the northern Michigan town of Fishwife, had a swell idea for a prom dress as she watched her sexy sex-ed teacher, Ms. Tew Cute, demonstrate the proper way to unroll a latex condom over a cucumb...
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Funny story: Tiger Woods Signs A Condom Deal

Tiger Woods Signs A Condom Deal

JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Golfing gigolo Tiger Woods has just announced that he has agreed to be the spokesman for a brand new line of condoms that will be available at drugstores, convenience stores, and retail stores throughout America within the m...
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Funny story: Bill Gates Funding New Condom Design

Bill Gates Funding New Condom Design

Bill Gates is funding a new condom design to be better and more comfortable than the old design. While enormously successful with previous ventures: computers and philanthropy, condom design may prove to be a greater challenge, sort of like: Can anyo...
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Funny story: Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

Delaware Now Requires Condoms To Be Worn At All Times

DOVER, Delaware - The East Coast state of Delaware has just passed a bill that will require all males between the ages of 18 and 48 to wear condoms at all times. According to state spokesperson Pandora P. Hissyheimer, 61, the bill was passed due t...
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Funny story: Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

Earth needs giant condom says UN Office for Outer Space Affairs, Flings, Bits-on-the-Side and One-Night Stands

New York - In a week dominated be Brits' meatier fears in the whorseflesh contamination scam and 'a steroid' attack on Southern Russia the UN's dedicated Outer Space Affairs agency says it's time to get tough on unprotected alien sex. "We need to...
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Funny story: The Super Bowl Committee Has Banned The Jenny McCarthy Commercial For Paul Bunyan Condoms

The Super Bowl Committee Has Banned The Jenny McCarthy Commercial For Paul Bunyan Condoms

NEW YORK CITY - Hollywood celebrity Jenny McCarthy is reportedly fit to be tied after hearing that her 30 second Super Bowl commercial has been dropped from the list of Super Bowl advertisements. According to Clarice Belle Terracutler, an assistan...
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Funny story: Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

Republicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
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Funny story: Fox Moving Into The Education-Oriented Cartoon World

Fox Moving Into The Education-Oriented Cartoon World

NEW YORK CITY - In a move that top executives said should have been done years ago, Fox Television has decided to move into the educational realm of cartoon shows. Television Director of Cartooning Panola "Kitty" Frinkfoyer, 43, has issued a direc...
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Funny story: Condom Law Passes in LA County

Condom Law Passes in LA County

Los Angeles County voters recently passed a ballot initiative mandating that pornographic film actors wear condoms during sex scenes, prompting J. Thorton Skinner, Executive Secretary of PORN, a trade group, to state, "We won't take this frontally. w...
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Funny story: Comstockery: Yesterday and Today

Comstockery: Yesterday and Today

Did you know that in World War I, the United States was the only country that did not distribute condoms to its soldiers? As a result, rates of sexually transmitted diseases were higher among American troops, as was the incidence of them being fathers of (often unwanted) babies. Our allies thought we were silly and prudish, calling such policies "Comstockery." The term was later used to more gener...
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Funny story: Pope Drops Blanket Ban On Condom Use

Pope Drops Blanket Ban On Condom Use

In an historic move, the Pope has brought about a seismic shift in Catholic doctrine, with the ending of the Vatican's total opposition to the use of condoms. In a statement, released between masses at St Peter's Basillica, the Pope, one time Hitl...
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Funny story: The Miami Dolphins Drop-Kick Chad Ochocinco

The Miami Dolphins Drop-Kick Chad Ochocinco

MIAMI - A spokesperson for the NFL Miami Dolphins, Clyde "Cleats" Cantabrini, has just stated that they have terminated wide receiver Chad Johnson, better known as Chad Ochocinco (#85). Cantabrini spoke with Tango Brisket, a reporter with Sports T...
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Breaking News...

Daryl Hannah Breaks Up With Neil Young

I get confused sometimes but as soon as he started playing Heart of Gold instead of Sweet Caroline, I realized that I had gotten Neil Young and Neil Diamond mixed up," said Ms. Hannah on her break-up.

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