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Funny satire stories about Computers

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Funny story: Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You!

Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You!

Goshen, IN-Can't get a date for the prom or the homecoming dance? Need a temporary assistant to run your office while your dependable office assistant is on vacation? Ready to panic? You may not need to panic. A local company which specializes in...
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Funny story: Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple wants your money, as much (or as little) of it as it can get--as much being $10,000 (for Big Spenders), as little $349 (for cheapskates). That's right, the company founded by Johnny Appleseed has added wristwatches to its collection...
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Funny story: Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers to be replaced by Watson computers

Lawyers around the nation are worried that they may have to enter another job profession after several investors decided to develop a Watson Lawyer to advice and represent paying clients. Watson is an artificially intelligent computer system capab...
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Funny story: Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...
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Funny story: IBM going the way of the T Rex?

IBM going the way of the T Rex?

International Business Machinations (IBM) denied reports that it plans to lay off 100,000 of its employees after losses for each of the last 11 successive quarters. "We're in the money," CEO Ginni Romney (no relation, as far as can be determined,...
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Funny story: CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

I'm so lucky to be a CAPTCHA program. Y'know one of those little thingies that won't let you operate on a website unless you prove that you're human. I absolutely LOVE my job. The irony of the situation tickles me. Love it, love it, love it -- that a human has to communicate with a machine in order to prove his or her humanity. LOL! Most of the time I do my gatekeeper job diligently. But eve...
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Funny story: Hawking warns AI could destroy humanity

Hawking warns AI could destroy humanity

Demented half-cyborg boffin Professor Stephen Hawking has claimed that one day, possibly soon, artificial intelligence could destroy humanity. The drooling brainbox insisted that if we continue to develop ever more powerful robots and computers, then...
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Funny story: Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazio...
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Funny story: iPads implanted in human fetus, starts texting at 5 months!

iPads implanted in human fetus, starts texting at 5 months!

In a press release today, the Cleveland Clinic in conjunction with several other teaching hospitals around the country announced that they had successfully implanted I-Pads in human fetus! "What is amazing," said Dr. T. J. McCorkle of The Clevela...
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Funny story: Confessions of a Spam Filter

Confessions of a Spam Filter

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
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Funny story: Denial of service Spoof attacker found, gives sordid confession

Denial of service Spoof attacker found, gives sordid confession

Investigation has revealed the DOS or denial of service attacks recently experienced by The Spoof were the work of an international gang named FECAL. This acronym stands for frequent efforts to collude against levity, the group's "mission," leadin...
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Funny story: SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

A new computer program called "SIMILAR2" has been devised by a leading publishing agency in London. Arnold Galbraith, the inventor, and rumoured to be a 33rd Degree Freemason whose father was allegedly a Jesuit priest in charge of Vatican Publicity, told our "Nabbed" reporter: "We developed SIMILAR2 for our own writers. Basically, all writing is a matter of ideas, so we figured to help people...
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Funny story: Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Internet-obsessive Steven Diceham revealed his fears today that he might run out of things to read on the internet by as early as January 2015. "with the recent purchase of my new internet phone and unlimited wireless at home - I have been reading a...
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Funny story: Scotsmen Freezing After Updating To O.S. 12 "Prairie Dog"

Scotsmen Freezing After Updating To O.S. 12 "Prairie Dog"

Apple MacPherson have uploaded a fix for O.S. 12 "Prairie Dog" which appears to be causing Scotsmen to "freeze" and require cold reboots. Apple MacPherson have denied any problems are linked to its new operating system and claim the new download is...
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Funny story: For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

For First Time, Hard Drive Crashes Surpasses Car Crashes in Washington DC

Washington D.C. - An epidemic of hard drive crashes is sweeping this city and, for the first time in history, the number has exceeded the total number of car crashes that have occurred within the city limits since 2011. It is truly uncanny how man...
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Funny story: "Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

"Software Dementia" Now Recognized By American Psychiatric Association

Arlington, VA - The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has officially recognized "Software Dementia" as a legitimate mental illness and, as such, recommends the condition be covered by health insurance providers and be included under the American...
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Funny story: Man convinces panel that he is a computer

Man convinces panel that he is a computer

It is an astonishing milestone in computing. For the first time, a human being has passed the Tuping test, in which one must persuade a panel of judges that he is in fact a robot. The victorious man, Colin Cement, 46, of Dorking, is by day a street p...
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Funny story: Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Covert "Girl Detector" Discovered In Windows Operating Systems

Redmond, WA - Microsoft Corporation was on the defensive today after an independent software research group released its findings that Microsoft's Windows operating systems contain a hidden 'girl detector.' The existence of the girl detector confi...
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Breaking News...

Only 3 Drugs In America's Pharmacopeia "Do anything"

A high ranking official with the FDA made the remark Thursday at a cocktail party. He said "other than this whiskey the only thing medicine has to offer is penicillin, tranquilizers, and amphetamines"
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