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Funny satire stories about Computers

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Funny story: A Rogue Computer Speaks

A Rogue Computer Speaks

I don't have pointy teeth, a black cape, a bad haircut, or a see-through body. But can I be scary? You betcha! Y'see, I'm a computer in the general reference room of a local library. A bad, bad computer. One who makes up emails and sends them to library patrons. Spooky! And fun -- to annoy, enrage, scare a lot of folks. Whatever. Oh, you thought only humans can be scary? Get with it. This is...
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Funny story: Chancellor demands progress bar standards

Chancellor demands progress bar standards

Chancellor George Osborne says he is 'totally hacked off' with web and software-based systems that use progress bars to show how far along a particular process is. He claims that millions of hours of productivity are being lost from British industry...
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Funny story: Case Against Technology- Part 12: Laptop Computers

Case Against Technology- Part 12: Laptop Computers

Laptops- Laptops satisfied consumer demand the same way lapdogs pacify their masters' angst, providing both with companionship. But many laptop users resent the comparison to a lapdog because it automatically infers a link to bestiality, which is a repugnant taboo - and they don't want anyone to know about their perversion. Computer companies were quick to exploit and capitalize on close...
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Funny story: The Case Against Technology- Part 11: Desktop Computers

The Case Against Technology- Part 11: Desktop Computers

Desktop Computers- The personal computer (PC) was invented as a prosthesis to replace the human brain. As expected our brains have atrophied from the reliance upon such a crutch - and users just can't get enough. Whereas the telephone lets your fingers do the walking, now you can let the PC do the thinking. After all, thinking is too much like work and people have better things to do with their ti...
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Funny story: New "Hire-A-Thug" Parking App is All The Rage!

New "Hire-A-Thug" Parking App is All The Rage!

San Francisco, CA - Ivor Putinski loves his new home in America, and wanted nothing more than to use his various talents to help improve the lives of the people in his newly adopted country. This inspired Ivor to develop his new "Hire-A-Thug" iPhone...
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Funny story: Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You

Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You

Goshen, IN-Can't get a date for the prom or the homecoming dance? Need a temporary assistant to run your office while your dependable office assistant is on vacation? Ready to panic? You may not need to panic. A local company which specializes in...
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Funny story: Facebook creates new app that tells you when someone is masturbating over your profile picture

Facebook creates new app that tells you when someone is masturbating over your profile picture

Social media giant Facebook announced today that a new app will be on their website that informs users when someone is masturbating over their profile picture. Facebook creator Zuckerberg revealed in a demonstration yesterday in Los Angeles, how...
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Funny story: Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You!

Need a Human Being? Let a 3-D Printer Produce One for You!

Goshen, IN-Can't get a date for the prom or the homecoming dance? Need a temporary assistant to run your office while your dependable office assistant is on vacation? Ready to panic? You may not need to panic. A local company which specializes in...
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Funny story: Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple watches to give you the time of your life

Apple wants your money, as much (or as little) of it as it can get--as much being $10,000 (for Big Spenders), as little $349 (for cheapskates). That's right, the company founded by Johnny Appleseed has added wristwatches to its collection...
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Funny story: Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

Town decides to ban other kinds of software on computer shops after banning Dota

IGNORAN, CE (Acme World News) -- Few weeks ago, it has been reported that the town of Protacio, CE bans Dota in all computer shops in that area due to increasing crime rate. Recently, this same town now bans other kinds of software, which is in fa...
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Funny story: IBM going the way of the T Rex?

IBM going the way of the T Rex?

International Business Machinations (IBM) denied reports that it plans to lay off 100,000 of its employees after losses for each of the last 11 successive quarters. "We're in the money," CEO Ginni Romney (no relation, as far as can be determined,...
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Funny story: CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

CAPTCHA Revelation: I Call the Shots

I'm so lucky to be a CAPTCHA program. Y'know one of those little thingies that won't let you operate on a website unless you prove that you're human. I absolutely LOVE my job. The irony of the situation tickles me. Love it, love it, love it -- that a human has to communicate with a machine in order to prove his or her humanity. LOL! Most of the time I do my gatekeeper job diligently. But eve...
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Funny story: Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Amazion Taking Christmas Orders For New Faster Than Light Game Console Computers

Heisenberg's quantum principles have been used to make the "Decahedral" processor chips in the new "faster than light" computers which will be available for Christmas. Predictably Britain's James Bond and the C.I.A. have ordered one each from Amazio...
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Funny story: iPads implanted in human fetus, starts texting at 5 months!

iPads implanted in human fetus, starts texting at 5 months!

In a press release today, the Cleveland Clinic in conjunction with several other teaching hospitals around the country announced that they had successfully implanted I-Pads in human fetus! "What is amazing," said Dr. T. J. McCorkle of The Clevela...
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Funny story: Confessions of a Spam Filter

Confessions of a Spam Filter

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
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Funny story: Denial of service Spoof attacker found, gives sordid confession

Denial of service Spoof attacker found, gives sordid confession

Investigation has revealed the DOS or denial of service attacks recently experienced by The Spoof were the work of an international gang named FECAL. This acronym stands for frequent efforts to collude against levity, the group's "mission," leadin...
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Funny story: SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

SIMILAR2 - A Computer Program to Make you Famous

A new computer program called "SIMILAR2" has been devised by a leading publishing agency in London. Arnold Galbraith, the inventor, and rumoured to be a 33rd Degree Freemason whose father was allegedly a Jesuit priest in charge of Vatican Publicity, told our "Nabbed" reporter: "We developed SIMILAR2 for our own writers. Basically, all writing is a matter of ideas, so we figured to help people...
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Funny story: Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Bored man reveals fear of running out of things to read on the internet by early 2015

Internet-obsessive Steven Diceham revealed his fears today that he might run out of things to read on the internet by as early as January 2015. "with the recent purchase of my new internet phone and unlimited wireless at home - I have been reading a...
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Showing page 1 (of 14 pages)
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Bill Cosby Explains That Fat Albert is Actually a Separate, Evil Personality

"So the person you want for all these accusations is really Evil Fat Albert," explained Cosby.
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