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Funny story:  Couple addicted to coffee enemas finally release names of favorite blends

Couple addicted to coffee enemas finally release names of favorite blends

TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day. Wife Tamm...
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Funny story:  Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

Dark matter is out, sticky matter is in

In theoretical physics and cosmological circles there has been a good mannered debate raging for several decades over what is holding all the matter in galaxies together. "It's quite simple," said Brian Cox, presenter of The Sky At Night. "When we...
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Funny story:  Funeral homes: the new Starbucks

Funeral homes: the new Starbucks

In the midst of dwindling sales at home and stiff competition from other coffee shop chains, Starbucks management have recently turned to growth regions such as Asia to open up new stores while closing several existing shops in North America and Euro...
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Funny story:  Little Divot Man In Rich Tea Biscuit Furore

Little Divot Man In Rich Tea Biscuit Furore

Yet again the once sleepy village of Little Divot finds itself at the centre of a national scandal after improper use of a rich tea biscuit was discovered at a local tea room. Staff at the Blue Rinse Tea Rooms were left aghast after one of them ca...
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Funny story:  How to get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks

How to get a free cup of coffee at Starbucks

How to get a free cup of coffee from Starbucks From the Staff of dc Lampoon Times are tough and coffee ain't cheap! So we here at the dclampoon.com have come up with some sure fire methods for you to get your free cup of morning Joe from non-participating Starbucks. The origins of free coffee The origins of free coffee can probably be traced back to some loin cloth wearing native starv...
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Funny story:  New Starbucks Opens Up Inside Starbucks

New Starbucks Opens Up Inside Starbucks

Residents of New York City's Union Square area were delighted when a new Starbucks store opened up inside Union Square's already-existing Starbucks. Sean Kingsley, a graduate film student at nearby New York University, said that the opening of the...
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Funny story:  Starbucks Proves Extremely Helpful to Amnesia Victim

Starbucks Proves Extremely Helpful to Amnesia Victim

When Joseph Brittingham was attacked and beaten by armed robbers in his Upper West Side apartment late one Saturday night in November of 2008, he sustained multiple concussions so severe that it was questionable whether he'd even survive, let alone regain his previous mental and physical abilities. After over two years of intensive care and ongoing, excruciating physical rehabilitation, Joseph...
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Funny story:  Cameron comes out fighting in the 'cash for access' row

Cameron comes out fighting in the 'cash for access' row

In the light of the Sunday Times revelations that the Tory party are taking money in exchange for access to David Cameron the Prime Minister has come out fighting. Far from distancing himself from the whole sorry debacle he has announced that he i...
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Funny story:  Kiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids

Kiddie Cappuccinos Sold in Brooklyn; Ho-Hum, Say Kids

The latest rage in Park Slope Brooklyn is the fake cappuccino, developed to convince toddlers they're getting designer drinks just like the ones adults are ordering up. Yeah, right! A spoof reporter who understands baby talk has conducted interviews with a number of Brooklyn toddlers and has discovered that they are not deceived. Moreover, they are disgusted by the charade. Here's a sample...
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Funny story:  Barstuck's to Begin Serving Medicinal Marijuana for Happy Hour

Barstuck's to Begin Serving Medicinal Marijuana for Happy Hour

Barstuck's Cafe today announced that it will begin serving Medicinal Marijuana in specially selected Barstuck's fitted with small smoking rooms. On the heals of recent trials of serving beer and wine, Barstuck's official said it was just a natural p...
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Funny story:  Barstucks charged customers for coffee smell of their coffee

Barstucks charged customers for coffee smell of their coffee

Seattle, Washington--Barstucks has been charging customers a small fee for the coffee smell of their coffee. "At Barstucks we do the best to create the best customer experience and that means charging more for the coffee smell. It is the best sme...
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Funny story:  Coffee with Mussolini?

Coffee with Mussolini?

Former dictator Benito Amilcare Mussolini, who ruled the country before being deposed in a coup in 1943, is to become the new vice-chairperson of coffee-house chain Stabrucks, it was revealed today. In a leaked document the fascist dictator, belie...
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Funny story:  America runs on Dunkin'? "Bullshit!" says Trucker

America runs on Dunkin'? "Bullshit!" says Trucker

HARFOLD, Vermont-Elwood "Elmer" Edwards requires very little while on the job. With country music favorites queued up on his iPod, once Edwards pulls onto an Interstate and shifts his 18-wheeler into high gear, he only needs one hand to steer, and th...
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Funny story:  Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Coffee the New Fountain of Youth

Following an extensive study about the health benefits of drinking coffee, initial results show that regular consumption will dramatically reduce risk for prostate cancer, some heart related illnesses and will improve general stamina at work, around...
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Funny story:  Anger at Firth "coffee shop" slur

Anger at Firth "coffee shop" slur

Moody star and Chiswick resident Colin Firth has done it again. Only recently, Chiswick folk were angered at Firth's failure to buy a round, and his claim to feel "rootless" in the leafy West London town. Now grumpy Colin has upset the locals agai...
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Funny story:  Los Angeles Laker Ron Artest and "Coffee Bob" To Film A Commercial For Starbucks

Los Angeles Laker Ron Artest and "Coffee Bob" To Film A Commercial For Starbucks

SAN ANTONIO - Los Angeles Lakers forward Ron Artest looked like a runaway freight train as he slammed into two fans sitting in the front row of San Antonio's ATT Center during the recent Los Angeles Lakers vs. San Antonio Spurs game. One of the fa...
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Funny story:  Dunkan Donuts' Secret Employee Prison Discovered and Toured

Dunkan Donuts' Secret Employee Prison Discovered and Toured

CANTON, Mass. - More employees of Dunkan Donuts, suspected of being part of a plot to funnel secret doughnut and coffee-making information to it's host of competitors, were arrested and jailed today, as part of a region wide crackdown on secret-leaka...
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Funny story:  Starbucks to Expand Into Every Home and Workplace

Starbucks to Expand Into Every Home and Workplace

SEATTLE - Starbucks, the world's biggest coffee people, will expand into the home. "Studies," said a spokesman, "have shown that after a Starbucks - registered trademark - they go to a 'home' or a 'work'. These people spend nearly most of their da...
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Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast

Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.

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