President Obama has had to undergo speech therapy after banging his head. White House officials said the temporary speech impediment will be rectified before he has to give a speech about the economy.
An insider said that Obama became difficult to...
True Cockneys are boycotting the Olympic Games which are being held in their backyard because the signposts have not been printed in the local language!
The signs have been written in English, French, German, Spanish, etc, but the Olympic organiso...
The Queen has decided that, to commemorate her Diamond Jubilee, she will revert to her natural speaking style for the day on June 4th. Although she usually affects a very precise BBC English accent, coming from the west end of London means she natur...
Despite her bumper haul of awards at last night's Grammy awards Americans are still confused about exactly where Adele is from.
The confusion, although not affecting U.S sales of her album 21, is causing some Americans to question just how 'into'...
Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp, who only talks pigeon Cockney and can't read or write, has promised the FA he'll go one better than Fabio Capello and learn to talk proper English if they give him the job.
"I'd be sick as a parrot if them Bob Dylans at...
Inspector Stanley Livingstone-Stanley and I sat silently, as we lurched along through the winter evening streets of London. We were sitting in a two-horse brougham opposite a Bolivian admiral who was on his way to the Annual Convention of Not Quite Correct Things, which is an event hosted by Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, and is a veritable Mecca to those with a penchant for the re...
Cockneys tell more lies than Scousers or Taffies, according to a local survey.
The Londoners score an average of seven porkies a day, with Scousers achieving five and the hapless Taffies managing only four little fibs.
Both the Cockneys polled...
UEFA Champions League - It's good news for London, but a disaster for Manchester, as both Manchester clubs - City and United - crashed out of the tournament, whilst Arsenal and Chelsea progressed to the knockout stages.
City fanatic, Liam Gaggler,...
Scotland Yard reports that Bo-le of Glue thousand people 'ad been nicked - and more than Ca and Calf or 1,135 'ad been charged for riotin'. Of those charged, over 700 're guilty of speakin' Cockney Matheson Lang.
Scotland Yard 'as also organized...
Having already told Roman Abramovich to stick his caviar up where the sun don't shine, Spurs boss, Harry Redknapp has now suggested the Chelsea oligarch goes and 'buggers his balalaika'.
Chelsea's megabucks supremo, Abramovich, is reportedly ho...
West Ham boss Avram Grant has come out in praise of Aloysius "Nosey" Parker, one of the best known characters in the TV puppet show, "Thunderbirds".
'When I was growing up in Israel, "Thunderbirds" was the most popular show on the box. Although mo...
For the first time ever a website has been given access to the AGM minutes of one of the oldest organisations in London.....the Cockney Rhyming Slang Club.....
"John Taylor, the sitting Fun of The Fair, opened the Ronan Keating by thanking every Great North Run for making the Harry Lime to Richard Lumb.
Loud Hailer advised that 2009/10 had been one of the most successful Blackpool Piers in t...
Allo!
Me old china plates! wots bin apenin on the home frunt.
Well, for a start, me old mans minces ave all gone to pot an he cant make his way down the frog to the rubba dub.
Course, hes got the right ump, an given me muvva a bak ander. I've gandered it, an bosh! I've given him a clump on the loaf an ees gone darn like a sak of tom tit.
While all this is gowin on, me skin an blister i...
Cockney market trader and pub patron, Gordon Gorblimey-Bennet, of Brick Lane, The East End, is the latest consultant to be drafted in by BP after several failed attempts to cap the catastrophic oil leak in the Gulf Of Mexico.
GGB, as his mates dow...
'Ello me old Mile Ends. Me Plates are sure giving me some Michael Caine. See I've just been t'see the Overcoat Maker coz me old mate went Radio Rental this morning and topped 'iself.
Me old Trouble and Strife won't go to the funeral coz she's convinced he was a Dicky Dirt lifter.
'E did 'ave a Trouble and Strife and she 'as a decent pair of Bristols. She is a Widow Twankey but yer can't '...
The Mayor of London's Transport Secretary, Kulveer Ranger, announced today plans to phase out the world famous Cockney Black Cab, citing the popular mode of transport, 'expensive and unintelligible' for a modern London.
At a news conference, Mr.
In a shock announcement today the Financial Services Authority have advised the Monthly Cycle that they intend to regulate certain Cockney Rhyming Slang.
The move comes on the back of the announcement by Satan's Bankers Barclays that their Fascist...
Large areas of East London remained cordoned-off today by the army and police. Elsewhere in the country, people from East London are being asked to make their way, silently, to rapidly constructed isolation centres.
Medical experts and linguists...