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Funny story: Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Amazing what a couple of grams of coke can do as Pope Joe Ratzinger wheeled out of cryogenic stasis

Vatican Shitty, Rome - Half a dozen toots up each nostril and the Deserter Pope Joseph Ratzinger made it to today's canonisation double act a newly envigorated man. The 87 year-old former Nazi appeared in full Pontifical bling after a year's abse...
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Funny story: Nigella Turned Back at Airport - but Visa then granted America's Purity and Morality Saved Just in Time

Nigella Turned Back at Airport - but Visa then granted America's Purity and Morality Saved Just in Time

A legitimate online flight booking to L. A. by F.B.I's most wanted T.V. cook Nigella Lawson was used to alert Captain America yesterday. The Superhero swooped down to confront and humiliate the highly lethal English Lady. With nothing better to...
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Funny story: Airport Security Finds 30 Pounds of Cocaine Under Fat Lady's Boobs!

Airport Security Finds 30 Pounds of Cocaine Under Fat Lady's Boobs!

While this might not be a drug mule case, security guards at Kennedy Airport say it was more like a cow-smuggling incident. An as yet unknown 300-pound woman was routinely being searched at the airport when a bag of cocaine fell out on the floor.
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Funny story: Secret Documents Reveal That Vladimir Putin Had Made Plans To Invade Colombia

Secret Documents Reveal That Vladimir Putin Had Made Plans To Invade Colombia

MOSCOW - An unidentified source with strong ties to upper Russian officials has revealed that he saw top secret documents concerning Russia's plan to invade the South American country of Colombia. The plans showed a date for the invasion to be som...
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Funny story: Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Why it's getting harder to back a winner

Aintree ought to be buzzing with anticipation of todays Grand National, but instead there are disturbing claims that many of the entrants are hooked on recreational drugs. And we don't mean the jockeys, we mean the HORSES! Rumours of horses takin...
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Funny story: Is Lindsay Lohan "Betty" At The Salon?

Is Lindsay Lohan "Betty" At The Salon?

Lindsay Lohan has been missing for a couple of weeks -not even in court -so some friends and fans have been concerned. However, a recent article with a photo of some girl named "Betty" has them believing she has either lost her memory or just wants a...
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Funny story: Peru drug mule stooges 'home for Christmas 2033'

Peru drug mule stooges 'home for Christmas 2033'

Lima - Two daft Brit cows caught with one-and-a-half kilos of Colombian cocaine have changed their pitch and admitted trafficking following a Peruvian Justice Ministry plea bargain sweetener. This offers a reduced terms sentence in exchange for gr...
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Funny story: Cook County crack addict resigns from bench

Cook County crack addict resigns from bench

ST. ECLAIR, ILL - Michael Cook, who was caught, white-handed, cooking up smack (or maybe it was coke; details are confused in what remains of his mind), has resigned in disgrace from his position as a Cook County judge. A colleague died of a heroi...
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Funny story: The Interesting Case Of DEA K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy

The Interesting Case Of DEA K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy

LAREDO - The United States Drug Enforcement Agency, known as DEA, is reporting that K-9 Drug Dog Agent Rover Boy, who is regarded as one of the DEA's top drug sniffing dogs, has been entered into The Bow-Wow Dog Rehab Clinic in Baltimore. A spokes...
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Funny story: Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend

Steve Gold: The Death Of A Footballing Legend

Controversial former Leicester City and England footballer Steve Gold has died aged 50. The legendary striker was found unconscious in his squalid Leicester flat by police after a local off-license owner became concerned for his safety. Police confirmed the news earlier today. Laura Pintage, proprietor of the 'Booze Till You Snooze' off-license told us, "Steve was a regular in the shop. S...
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Funny story: Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

Bobby Brown to arrange catering at Whitney's funeral!

The list of celebs and VIP's has been drawn up for Whitney's funeral and it's a who's who of the pop, soul, blues world. Kevin Costner is to recite a eulogy stating how much fun it was being her bodyguard and having his ears bashed during breaks.
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Funny story: President Obama Blames Tea Party For Recession: Calls Them "Tin Horn Tokers" For Not Buying Drugs

President Obama Blames Tea Party For Recession: Calls Them "Tin Horn Tokers" For Not Buying Drugs

WASHINGTON - Just prior to boarding Air Force One this morning to join Michelle and the girls in Hawaii, President Obama poured it on conservative Tea Party activists by calling them "Tin Horn Tokers" for not buying enough marijuana and cocaine to ke...
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Funny story: Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

Frankie Cocozza's drug stash seized: It's just sherbet

X-Factor producers have re-instated disgraced contestant Frankie Cocozza after a police report concluded that the 400g of white powder found in his possession was in fact sherbet. The beehive-sporting party animal apparently had no idea that he h...
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Funny story: Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Media Attack BBC's Refusal to Provide Cocaine for 5 Live Staff Party - Radio 1 Rally to Help

Party pooper, state funded TV company the BBC, has refused to provide any drugs for a big send off party they are organising for their live news and sports station, Radio 5 Live. Thousands of staff at the radio station are being deported, along with...
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Funny story: Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

Honduras Has Captured A Cocaine-Laded Submarine That Reportedly Was Headed For Malibu Beach

TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras - The Honduran Navy has reportedly captured a 90-foot submarine, off the coast of neighboring El Salvador, that allegedly was destined for Malibu Beach, California. The submarine which had personalized Arizona license plates...
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Funny story: Buju Banton jailed for 10 years

Buju Banton jailed for 10 years

Grammy-award-winning star Buju Banton has been sentenced to 10 years in jail in the US for his role in setting up a cocaine deal in 2009. The singer, whose real name is Mark Myrie, was told at Tampa federal court that he must serve five years' pro...
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Funny story: Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

Cocaine Abuse Commonplace In The Premiership

A leading drug baron who doesn't wish to be named has made the astonishing allegation that cocaine abuse is an everyday occurrence among the highly paid stars of football's Premier League. "There's loads of 'em at it," the criminal alleged. "There...
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Funny story: Canada 'tossed me under bus': Harper

Canada 'tossed me under bus': Harper

Prime Minister of Canada Steven Harper lashed out at Canada Friday over his treatment when he was kicked out of the Conservative caucus over sensational allegations. Harper took aim at country after a Friday news conference in Collingwood, Ont., s...
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Angry Birds CEO to step down

Angry Birds CEO Mikael Hed will not head the Finnish company next year; he is being replaced because he is not "choleric" enough to effectively represent the hostile video game franchise.

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