London - "Looks like ET was planning on flooding the world with hundreds of General Petraeus lookalikes and Mitt Romney clones," the head of the UK Diplomatic Protection Racket Corps said today as the news broke, "we even found their original Paula...
Boston Red Sox and Liverpool FC owner John Henry today announced that the Boston Red Sox were teaming up with scientists from the University of Liverpool to clone George Herman 'Babe' Ruth to replace Bobby Valentine who was fired after the Sox failed...
The King of Rock'n'Roll, Elvis Aaron Presley, it set to make a shock comeback to the music scene thirty five years after his death.
"We've just developed the technology to reconstitute a whole human being from just a puddle of preserved vomit," sa...
SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...
Amidst the media's speculation about presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney's choice for a running mate, it came as a major shock today when he announced his decision: Mitt Romney has chosen Mitt Romney.
When asked what would happ...
Skoob was dead right, things had changed, the Gerbils were now everywhere and they were even bigger than before. One blocking our path up the stairs looked to be 800 stone. One turned towards us and it glared...right through my soul.
"They've got so many now, you can't move a milli-second without one having it's nose up your ass," said J.O., standing right behind me, "They re-engineered them, n...
Mystic, pundit, conservative ideologist, Dr. Billingsgate is all of that and more. Few people are the center of more fascination and yearning than the man once rumored to be a reincarnated homopteran. After years of living in relative anonymity, on...
Islamabad - Hours after American Navy Seals took out Osama Bin Ladin in a covert operation of amazing swiftness, Al Queda operatives claim they have a portion of Osama Bin Ladin's nose.
"The American swine shot off part of his nose!" said Abducta...
The real body of Adolf Hitler was stolen from a lab in Russia by some Neo-Nazis who are plotting to clone their grand leader that they love so much.
The Neo-Nazis are hoping that once Hitler is cloned, he will lead them into glory.
Barack Husse...
Apple is frantically trying to find the glitch in the operating system that is causing its iPhone 4 multi-tasking phones to replicate themselves. "The web is crawling with claims by iPhone 4 owners that they have clone phones replicating at the rate...
Two scientists working at a laboratory in Oxfordhire claim to have cloned themselves, resulting in a totally new life form. The creature is like a miniature human being, at less than 50cm long and weighing just 3.5kg.
Dr Quentin Nerd and fellow...
The first human cloned DNA experiment was a success today when scientist from the institute of California cloned Ex.first president of the United States George Washington.
After a week of assimilating to his new surroundings the Ex. President /...
After interviewing Dolly the Sheep at her stall in Herfordshire, England, so called "birthers" have concluded that the reason Barack Obama will not allow the State of Hawaii to release his disputed birth certificate is that it would reveal that he wa...
In a follow-up story to one that this publication printed yesterday, our reporters have learned that Santa has been inundated with requests for his cloned lingerie models ( see original story here by Bargis Tryhol ). The requests for these models, h...
Shocking news came out today when MI6 leaders told the queen that clones are smarter than average humans.
This theory has been tested on some of Britain's greatest minds as well as the queen, herself. In the queen case, they were both given a pie...
Security services in the UK have uncovered a plot by the British National Party to mass clone the former British Prime Minister, Baroness Thatcher and the late, larger than life comic from Manchester, Bernard Manning.
It is understood that the cu...
Scientists at CERN have defected and begun to build cloning machines. Because of their superior knowledge and supermotivation, the first cloning factory was built on the 30th of April, 2009, 30 seconds after the idea was conceived.
"We're amazed...
NORTH, KOREA: North Korean scientists state they have successfully cloned a 'glowing Dear Leader', using DNA from Kim Jong-il and mutant beagle puppies.
The head of the experiment said: "Everybody thinking maybe Dear Leader die or maybe have strok...