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The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!

Funny story: The Texas Nude Maid Service Is Booming!

LUBBOCK - The Giddy Up Public Opinion Poll Company of Kalamazoo, Michigan, has just announced that The Texas Nude Maid Service, (formerly known as The Woman's Touch Maid Service) which is headquartered in Lubbock, Texas has become one of the fastest...

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US Postal comes clean

Funny story: US Postal comes clean

US Postal, Lance Armstrong's former cycling team admitted to cheating during his 7 Tour de France victories. In a strange twist, Armstrong himself remains untainted- US Postal say he knew nothing of their scams. This latest revelation continues th...

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Dubai Airport Toilets Win Cleanliness Accolade

Funny story: Dubai Airport Toilets Win Cleanliness Accolade

There were celebrations at Dubai International Airport this morning when it was revealed that the airport had been congratulated on the cleanliness of its toilet facilites - in the face of the most unbelievable filth imaginable to man. Moys Kenwoo...

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Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

Funny story: Billy Mays Killed by Stain that Won't Go Away

ORANGE GLO, FL - Superstar of the infomercial world Billy Mays was pronounced dead this morning at his home in Orange Glo, Florida. The shouting spokesman, 50, was reportedly trying to remove a particularly stubborn stain from his carpet when he s...

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Man Who Is Tired Of Getting Crap All Over The Souls Of His Feet Decides To Clean Up A Bit

Funny story: Man Who Is Tired Of Getting Crap All Over The Souls Of His Feet Decides To Clean Up A Bit

Sedona, Arizona - A man in Sedona, Arizona who is tired of getting crap all over the bottom of his bare feet has decided to clean up his place. Rodney Brewster, a former resident of Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, moved to a small apartment on...

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"Pitchman" Billy Mays' Historic Laryngeal Bypass Operation a Complete Success

Funny story: "Pitchman" Billy Mays' Historic Laryngeal Bypass Operation a Complete Success

ORANGE GLO, FL - When Discovery's Channel aired its new show "Pitchman," many viewers were surprised to find Billy Mays had a softer side. They can thank Dr. Les Lowden of Tampa General Hospital for this minor miracle. Just weeks before the show...

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Kim and Aggie comeback with a vengance!

Funny story: Kim and Aggie comeback with a vengance!

News today of a comeback by 'How disgusting is your house' cleaners and domestic goddesses Kim and Aggie. Almost Quoted as saying " This county needs us especially the council house brigade " Kim is particularly missing sniffing all the mould...

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Bang! and the dirt is gone, along with the infidels!

Funny story: Bang! and the dirt is gone, along with the infidels!

An anonymous source, who cannot be named, has revealed to our anonymous contact, who cannot be named, at the Daily Fascist, that good ol' Bazza Scott, the loud, obnoxious spokesperson for potentially environment damaging cleaning agent 'Cilla Bang' i...

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Northerners More Dirty

Funny story: Northerners More Dirty

Scabies, England - New research has found that northerners are dirtier than southerners. The study, conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, says the further north people live, the less likely they are to wash their hands afte...

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Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Funny story: Hilton and Marriott Adopt Protein-Stain Resistant Towels

Patented by Dr. Buster Hymens, a bio-chemist from Spit City, Nevada, a new coating that bonds itself to cotton fibers prevents even the worst protein stains from setting. Applied to towels and bedding in the initial wash cycle, the coating still al...

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George Formby was no good at cleaning windows

Funny story: George Formby was no good at cleaning windows

Historical texts have proven that Ukulele player George Formby was not a good window cleaner. Contemporary reports from the time revealed that the comedy maverick was often tardy, left his ladders all over the place, used the same water for days,...

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How to Groom A Small Man

Funny story: How to Groom A Small Man

The following article describes the procedure for grooming a small man and suggested techniques involved in a good, clean job. It is aimed at both beginners and experienced professionals.

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Outdaring

Life? I did not ask for it. It was done without my prior consent. Now, am I responsible to clean up someone else's mess? Certainly not. But I am going to play him in his own coin.

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Pam Ayres Controversial new poem - When I am Older than tomorrow

Pam Ayres, poet Laurette of a fading English ideal has released her most controversial new poem to date. It does not always rhyme, but we have had to clean it up, and the fourth, fifth and sixth stanza's really were not suitable for a family publication like this, so here is the version we are able to print.

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Major League Umpires Told, "Keep It Clean!"

Funny story: Major League Umpires Told, "Keep It Clean!"

Tiger Stadium, Detroit, Michigan - Major League Baseball Chief of Umpires, Blind Mississippi White Boy Pigsfeet Dupree has told the empiric crews working the World Series, "Keep it clean."...

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I Think I Might Be Addicted To Food

Funny story: I Think I Might Be Addicted To Food

It's the hardest thing in the world to admit to an addiction but, after much anguished deliberation, I feel as though it's time I came clean. I've been hiding this terrible secret for far too long. For you see, as long as I can remember now, I've had a deperate dependency on food, to the the extent that I sometimes eat up to 3 - 4 full meals a day. My situation has become hopeless,...

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Billy Mays Offers "Urineclean", FDA Investigates

Funny story: Billy Mays Offers "Urineclean", FDA Investigates

It has the power to clean and the power to wash; it makes brights brighter and darks darker; it cures cancer, kills vermin, and protects against forest fires. Of course I'm talking about the latest product of Billy Mays, "Urineclean". M...

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Bill Clinton's Dog Comes Clean

Funny story: Bill Clinton's Dog Comes Clean

Decent people the world over were visibly shocked today by Bill Clinton's confession that his dog did have sexual relations in the Oval Office.

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Breaking news…

Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?
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