US Postal, Lance Armstrong's former cycling team admitted to cheating during his 7 Tour de France victories. In a strange twist, Armstrong himself remains untainted- US Postal say he knew nothing of their scams.
This latest revelation continues th...
There were celebrations at Dubai International Airport this morning when it was revealed that the airport had been congratulated on the cleanliness of its toilet facilites - in the face of the most unbelievable filth imaginable to man.
Moys Kenwoo...
ORANGE GLO, FL - Superstar of the infomercial world Billy Mays was pronounced dead this morning at his home in Orange Glo, Florida.
The shouting spokesman, 50, was reportedly trying to remove a particularly stubborn stain from his carpet when he s...
Sedona, Arizona - A man in Sedona, Arizona who is tired of getting crap all over the bottom of his bare feet has decided to clean up his place.
Rodney Brewster, a former resident of Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, moved to a small apartment on...
ORANGE GLO, FL - When Discovery's Channel aired its new show "Pitchman," many viewers were surprised to find Billy Mays had a softer side. They can thank Dr. Les Lowden of Tampa General Hospital for this minor miracle.
Just weeks before the show...
News today of a comeback by 'How disgusting is your house' cleaners and domestic goddesses Kim and Aggie.
Almost Quoted as saying " This county needs us especially the council house brigade "
Kim is particularly missing sniffing all the mould...
An anonymous source, who cannot be named, has revealed to our anonymous contact, who cannot be named, at the Daily Fascist, that good ol' Bazza Scott, the loud, obnoxious spokesperson for potentially environment damaging cleaning agent 'Cilla Bang' i...
Scabies, England - New research has found that northerners are dirtier than southerners. The study, conducted by the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, says the further north people live, the less likely they are to wash their hands afte...
Patented by Dr. Buster Hymens, a bio-chemist from Spit City, Nevada, a new coating that bonds itself to cotton fibers prevents even the worst protein stains from setting. Applied to towels and bedding in the initial wash cycle, the coating still al...
Historical texts have proven that Ukulele player George Formby was not a good window cleaner.
Contemporary reports from the time revealed that the comedy maverick was often tardy, left his ladders all over the place, used the same water for days,...
The following article describes the procedure for grooming a small man and suggested techniques involved in a good, clean job. It is aimed at both beginners and experienced professionals.
Life? I did not ask for it. It was done without my prior consent. Now, am I responsible to clean up someone else's mess? Certainly not. But I am going to play him in his own coin.
Pam Ayres, poet Laurette of a fading English ideal has released her most controversial new poem to date. It does not always rhyme, but we have had to clean it up, and the fourth, fifth and sixth stanza's really were not suitable for a family publication like this, so here is the version we are able to print.
Tiger Stadium, Detroit, Michigan - Major League Baseball Chief of Umpires, Blind Mississippi White Boy Pigsfeet Dupree has told the empiric crews working the World Series, "Keep it clean."...
It's the hardest thing in the world to admit to an addiction but, after much anguished deliberation, I feel as though it's time I came clean. I've been hiding this terrible secret for far too long. For you see, as long as I can remember now, I've had a deperate dependency on food, to the the extent that I sometimes eat up to 3 - 4 full meals a day. My situation has become hopeless,...
It has the power to clean and the power to wash; it makes brights brighter and darks darker; it cures cancer, kills vermin, and protects against forest fires. Of course I'm talking about the latest product of Billy Mays, "Urineclean". M...
Decent people the world over were visibly shocked today by Bill Clinton's confession that his dog did have sexual relations in the Oval Office.
All children to eat Texas okra; broccoli to be banned...