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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story:  George Osborne to offer tax benefits to parents calling their children Ronnie

George Osborne to offer tax benefits to parents calling their children Ronnie

"The chronic Ronnie shortage is set to destroy "nostalgia " on British television by 2016", a nostalgia expert, Dennis Noorden told our T.V. correspondent. "At Christmas it is as traditional as mince pies to watch comedians imitate newsreaders sa...
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Funny story:  Christmas T.V. jeopardised as U.K. runs out of Ronnies

Christmas T.V. jeopardised as U.K. runs out of Ronnies

With the biggest loss of Ronnies in history in 2014, T.V. is being rocked to the core by man made "Ronnie warming". Ronnies, Barker and Biggs are just two of the 6,000 Ronnies who have faded away in the last ten years. Experts blame man made "...
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Funny story:  Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Fast track turkey breeding is taking place in government buildings throughout the U.K for an extra Christmas on the 25th of June. The Chancellor yesterday patronisingly announced the additional Yuletide as a reward to everyone for putting up with t...
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Funny story:  Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Buying "just one more" turkey because you know you will quit next week or slipping another turkey into your grocery basket at the superstore? Remarkably realistic electronic turkeys are now on sale to help with post-Christmas or Thanksgiving addi...
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Funny story:  End of  "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

End of "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

Christmas will terminate at midnight tonight in an attempt to curb turkey and mince pie abuse. Turkey can still be obtained by addicts but only on prescription. ChristmS trees, tinsel, mistletoe and chestnuts roasting on open fires will be banned unt...
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Funny story:  Michael Gove makes children repeat Christmas as it was wrongly carried out

Michael Gove makes children repeat Christmas as it was wrongly carried out

Christmas must be repeated as it has been marked too leniently, Tory School Oberfuhrer Michael Gove screamed yesterday. "Christmas will be repeated in the Summer, this time with more maths and science in it. Religion will also play a part in t...
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Funny story:  Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Police are planning a zero tolerance campaign to catch people out who have had a turkey dinner after the official deadline of midnight on January 6th. Highly accurate Turkelyzer kits have been ordered by police forces throughout the U.K. The kits...
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Funny story:  Apple Creates New Jobs

Apple Creates New Jobs

Technofiles rejoice! Apple have unveiled the latest addition to their ever expanding army of sense assaulting machines. 5S-teve! Included with this release will be a free download of IOS Jobs. The update comes with ruthless business acumen, foldi...
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Funny story:  People were less festive this year

People were less festive this year

As Twelfth Night approaches, less people are taking down exterior lights and Christmas decorations than for any year previously, since the invention of exterior lights and Christmas decorations. "My neighbour always had a magnificent display," sai...
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Funny story:  Spanish border guards kill Santa Claus for not declaring food for reindeer

Spanish border guards kill Santa Claus for not declaring food for reindeer

Spain punishes Gibraltar yet again for being Gibraltar. Santa and his reindeer and presents were made to queue on foot through the Spanish- Gibraltar border for 7 hours in a force 11 hurricane to punish Spanish and Gibraltar children for Santa's eff...
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Funny story:  Yeezus One Step Closer To Becoming Jesus

Yeezus One Step Closer To Becoming Jesus

American hip-hop artist Kanye West has given his fans a Christmas gift they will never forget, deciding to legally change his date of birth to 25 December 4BC. West's groundbreaking age reclassification decision means he will not only share a birt...
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Funny story:  Most Desired Gift is Cash

Most Desired Gift is Cash

Shoppers were stopped and interviewed by our blonde, intrepid reporter, and asked one simple question: if you could have anything you wanted from Santa, what would it be? Sarah, a single mother of two, said "Cash". Why cash? "Well, it's small,...
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Funny story:  Victims of Ice Storm learn the Horrible True Meaning of Christmas

Victims of Ice Storm learn the Horrible True Meaning of Christmas

Many Torontonians and Americans have had their power knocked out by a catastrophic ice storm, but some are taking solace in the fact that being cursed with such utter darkness has taught them the true, horrible meaning of Christmas. The ice storm...
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Funny story:  White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

White Christmas Dream Comes True after Flour Truck Overturns

A truck carrying sacks of flour overturned on the I-64 ramp as it exits onto I-65. It spilled its load onto the highway below, and the high winds that blew east south east served to spread the snowy white holiday cheer. Several lanes of traffic were...
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Funny story:  Why is North Pole, Inc. Changing Their Business?

Why is North Pole, Inc. Changing Their Business?

Major events at North Pole, Inc. are driving speculation about stability at the company. Over the last week, the company has made layoff announcements, had visits from government and business leaders, and met with Sara Palin (see "Sara Palin Visits Santa Claus"). Last week, the stock price fell 8% on fears of that Santa Claus, CEO of North Pole, Inc, cannot do the belt-tightening needed to keep...
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Funny story:  Group Seeks to Take Back Red and Green from Christmas

Group Seeks to Take Back Red and Green from Christmas

For at least one group of people, Christmas can't be over soon enough. No, this group isn't comprised of Scrooges or Grinches but advocates for the colors green and red who say it's time society take back these two colors from Christmas and restore...
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Funny story:  Iowa Bans Two Children's Christmas Books

Iowa Bans Two Children's Christmas Books

DES MOINES - The Iowa State Senate has just voted to ban two children's Christmas books on the grounds that the are highly inappropriate for the youngsters of the great state of Iowa. Senator Claudette Cora Wonderwillow [R-Sioux City] informed the...
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Funny story:  Great White Nutcracker Menaces U.S. Shore

Great White Nutcracker Menaces U.S. Shore

A Christmas nutcracker-the largest ever seen in the mid Atlantic-has been spotted patrolling beaches in several prime locations geared for tourists heading south during the winter holidays. Marine biologist Susan "Sugar Plum" Farley reports, "It'...
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Breaking News...

President Obama OK' Trillion Dollar Bills

Will print only 20 but we will send our creditors and pay off national debt. And so I get no argument, I put Ronald Reagan's picture on it.

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