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Funny story: Bruce's Retirement Hobby - Being On Strictly Come Dancing Every Week

Bruce's Retirement Hobby - Being On Strictly Come Dancing Every Week

"I just can't leave it alone and its even worse when I'm bored" Bruce Forsyth told a delegation of International Television Producers yesterday. He was referring of course to Strictly Come Dancing and not his Dick. Bruce is very fond of Dick, his Coc...
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Funny story: First Lady Organises Martha's Vineyard Christmas Savings Club After Vacation In Trailer Park

First Lady Organises Martha's Vineyard Christmas Savings Club After Vacation In Trailer Park

Michelle Obama is to collect $2 per week from the housewives at the Martha's Vineyard trailer park where she spends her vacations with her husband Barack. The savings are to be paid out at Christmas. "I always do this to help pay for the close kn...
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Funny story: Dyson Invents Rolf Harrisless Stylophone

Dyson Invents Rolf Harrisless Stylophone

Jamie Dyson, cousin of genius, James "Bagless" Dyson has reverse engineered everyone's least favourite Xmas present, the Stylophone in time for Christmas 2014. All traces of Rolf Harris and his black bearded Beatnik image have been removed from the c...
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Funny story: 9 Year Old Arrested For Faking Her Continued Belief In Santa Claus

9 Year Old Arrested For Faking Her Continued Belief In Santa Claus

Huntington, W.Va. - A local nine year old girl was arrested yesterday after her parents realized the girl had been faking her belief in Santa Claus as a ruse to get more Christmas presents, and to ensure that the presents she received were more fun.
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Funny story: Life sized Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell punchbags break all records for advanced Christmas orders

Life sized Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell punchbags break all records for advanced Christmas orders

Piers Morgan has the face that most men would like . . . . . . .to punch according to a survey by Punch Bag magazine. Piers is "resting" at the moment between jobs but an anonymous close friend, Cliffe Richards told our reporter, "Piers is a gre...
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Funny story: George Osborne to offer tax benefits to parents calling their children Ronnie

George Osborne to offer tax benefits to parents calling their children Ronnie

"The chronic Ronnie shortage is set to destroy "nostalgia " on British television by 2016", a nostalgia expert, Dennis Noorden told our T.V. correspondent. "At Christmas it is as traditional as mince pies to watch comedians imitate newsreaders sa...
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Funny story: Christmas T.V. jeopardised as U.K. runs out of Ronnies

Christmas T.V. jeopardised as U.K. runs out of Ronnies

With the biggest loss of Ronnies in history in 2014, T.V. is being rocked to the core by man made "Ronnie warming". Ronnies, Barker and Biggs are just two of the 6,000 Ronnies who have faded away in the last ten years. Experts blame man made "...
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Funny story: Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Turkey production doubled for additional Christmas in June

Fast track turkey breeding is taking place in government buildings throughout the U.K for an extra Christmas on the 25th of June. The Chancellor yesterday patronisingly announced the additional Yuletide as a reward to everyone for putting up with t...
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Funny story: Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners

Buying "just one more" turkey because you know you will quit next week or slipping another turkey into your grocery basket at the superstore? Remarkably realistic electronic turkeys are now on sale to help with post-Christmas or Thanksgiving addi...
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Funny story: End of "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

End of "Twelve days of Christmas" - Official

Christmas will terminate at midnight tonight in an attempt to curb turkey and mince pie abuse. Turkey can still be obtained by addicts but only on prescription. ChristmS trees, tinsel, mistletoe and chestnuts roasting on open fires will be banned unt...
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Funny story: Michael Gove makes children repeat Christmas as it was wrongly carried out

Michael Gove makes children repeat Christmas as it was wrongly carried out

Christmas must be repeated as it has been marked too leniently, Tory School Oberfuhrer Michael Gove screamed yesterday. "Christmas will be repeated in the Summer, this time with more maths and science in it. Religion will also play a part in t...
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Funny story: Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Police planning roadside Turkey checks

Police are planning a zero tolerance campaign to catch people out who have had a turkey dinner after the official deadline of midnight on January 6th. Highly accurate Turkelyzer kits have been ordered by police forces throughout the U.K. The kits...
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Funny story: Apple Creates New Jobs

Apple Creates New Jobs

Technofiles rejoice! Apple have unveiled the latest addition to their ever expanding army of sense assaulting machines. 5S-teve! Included with this release will be a free download of IOS Jobs. The update comes with ruthless business acumen, foldi...
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Funny story: People were less festive this year

People were less festive this year

As Twelfth Night approaches, less people are taking down exterior lights and Christmas decorations than for any year previously, since the invention of exterior lights and Christmas decorations. "My neighbour always had a magnificent display," sai...
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Funny story: Spanish border guards kill Santa Claus for not declaring food for reindeer

Spanish border guards kill Santa Claus for not declaring food for reindeer

Spain punishes Gibraltar yet again for being Gibraltar. Santa and his reindeer and presents were made to queue on foot through the Spanish- Gibraltar border for 7 hours in a force 11 hurricane to punish Spanish and Gibraltar children for Santa's eff...
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Funny story: Yeezus One Step Closer To Becoming Jesus

Yeezus One Step Closer To Becoming Jesus

American hip-hop artist Kanye West has given his fans a Christmas gift they will never forget, deciding to legally change his date of birth to 25 December 4BC. West's groundbreaking age reclassification decision means he will not only share a birt...
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Funny story: Most Desired Gift is Cash

Most Desired Gift is Cash

Shoppers were stopped and interviewed by our blonde, intrepid reporter, and asked one simple question: if you could have anything you wanted from Santa, what would it be? Sarah, a single mother of two, said "Cash". Why cash? "Well, it's small,...
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Funny story: Victims of Ice Storm learn the Horrible True Meaning of Christmas

Victims of Ice Storm learn the Horrible True Meaning of Christmas

Many Torontonians and Americans have had their power knocked out by a catastrophic ice storm, but some are taking solace in the fact that being cursed with such utter darkness has taught them the true, horrible meaning of Christmas. The ice storm...
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Obama... Ordinary like us.

Yesterday, President Obama was refused entry into a restaurant for not wearing a tie and later fined for double parking and... ordered to return his library books... and thrown off a tram...and...

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