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Funny satire stories about Christmas

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Funny story: Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

Saving the Mayor's Chestnuts

(To be sung to the tune of The Christmas Song) Indictments waiting in an open file. Horse huggers basking in their grief. Federal probes snooping here, snooping there, Mean that de Blasio will get no relief. You see the mayor has tons of influence to spread. Plus he has to keep the homeless housed and fed. But unlike Bloomberg, who knew how to fly, this mayor seems to be afraid of the...
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Funny story: Guest Mistakenly Drinks Family Eggnog

Guest Mistakenly Drinks Family Eggnog

Everyone in the Waller family has known for years. Whatever you do, you do not drink Grandpa Julian's Christmas eggnog. It is an act of self-preservation passed down to the young. Children learn from their elders. You pour the frothy poison in...
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Funny story: Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Posthoorn Interview no. 6: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Holiday prepper'?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. With Brexit looming, and maybe having to leave the Netherlands, Tom is prepping himself to live back in Scotland. Before going on holiday the reporter of the world...
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Funny story: The Queen has a cold.

The Queen has a cold.

The News. December 21st 2016. The Queen, 90, has a cold and her Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Prince Philip, 95, has a cold and his Christmas visit to Sandringham has been delayed. Doris Hodgkins, 91, has a cold and will...
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Funny story: Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

Trump Asks Santa for Giant Wall for Christmas

President Elect Donald Trump took a break from tweeting insults to finish his Christmas wish list. According to an unnamed White House source Mr. Trump's top item on his Christmas wish list was a giant wall. Supposedly the list began with "Item numb...
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Funny story: Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

Rudolph Refusing To Go Anywhere Near Aleppo

North Pole, Arctic - Rudolph is not apologizing for his recent weekend Twitter rampage, stating that he will not be forced to drop presents off in Aleppo, Syria. Sighting claims that it is far too dangerous to go anywhere near the bombed-out city...
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Funny story: Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks denies anti Christian Holiday theme

Starbucks unveiled its line of holiday cups today and shocked concerned Christians throughout the world. One odd cup features a portrait of Pontius Pilate. When asked why this was chosen at this particular time of year spokesperson Arnold Pudge sai...
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Funny story: Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Trump to Persecute People Who Say "Happy Holidays"

Trump transition team member Corey Lewandowski derailed a decent conversation on Hannity by making a strangely worded announcement about Christmas. During the Tuesday interview, Lewandowski tried to steer the conversation away from legitimate crit...
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Funny story: 43-year-old man still struggling with the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards

43-year-old man still struggling with the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards

New Haven, CT - 43-year-old stockbroker Martin Wells is in the grip of an annual anxiety attack from the strain of trying to grasp the unwritten rules of giving and receiving Christmas cards. "I don't even want to get Christmas cards, let alone gi...
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Funny story: Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

Santa Struggles To Deliver Enough Coal To Trump Towers On Christmas Eve

An inside source in Santa's workshop, namely Mrs. Claus, has revealed that Jolly Saint Nick will have the unenviable task of delivering tons of coal to Trump Towers this Christmas. Mrs. Claus, or Karma as she like to be called, talked to this repo...
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Funny story: Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

Tony Bennett Releases Yet Another Fucking Christmas Album

New York, New York - Proving to the world once again that he is, indeed, still alive, crooner Tony Bennett releases the 500th Christmas album in his nauseating yule tide collection. This latest one is called, I'm A Christmas Whore - There, I Said It!...
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Funny story: Trump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping

Trump Has Big Effect On Christmas Shopping

Christmas shopping is of course underway and many shoppers are taking into account future Trump Administration policies as they choose gifts. Since Title X family planning programs and repeal of Obamacare, which provides the GOP will probably effe...
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Funny story: Posthoorn Interview no. 5: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Nexit prepper"?

Posthoorn Interview no. 5: Tom 'Brexit prepper' or 'Nexit prepper"?

Tom, from Scotland, has lived in The Netherlands since 1972 and has a Dutch wife. The reporter of the world famous weekly newspaper The Posthoorn (chosen by 75% of their readers as their favourite alternative cat litter) passes Tom's pub on his way t...
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Funny story: Turkeys vote for Christmas

Turkeys vote for Christmas

In a shock election result, turkeys have voted in favour of Christmas for the first time since they gained the right to hold elections in 1845. In every year since then, turkeys have voted firmly against the Yuletide feast. However, this year a popul...
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Funny story: NORAD's Ability To Track Santa In Doubt

NORAD's Ability To Track Santa In Doubt

As the holiday season approaches, Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reiley will, as usual, warn Americans about the "secular progressive" war on Christmas. O'Reiley, on his program "The O'Reiley Factor, has charged that the secular left wants to ignore...
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Funny story: Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

Missing cell-tower found in Rockefeller center

"I always had four bars and a clear line" said a distraught Patsy Lang standing in front of what was a cell tower that stood on her land for four years until it mysteriously disappeared "now I got no bars and I had to buy me a five-thousand-foot exte...
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Funny story: Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

Politically correct nativity scenes sweep Christian nations

As Christmas approaches, many will be decorating their homes with more than just trees and lights. For Christians, a common tradition is to put a nativity scene somewhere on display. A nativity scene uses figurines and a stable to depict the story of...
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Funny story: Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

Cold and Fever Exchange New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight and Gain Weight, Respectively

At the start of 2016, long-time cohorts Cold and Fever exchanged solemn New Year's resolutions to lose weight and gain weight, respectively. Cold admitted to having really packed on the pounds in recent decades. He pointed to the oft-touted home r...
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Showing page 1 (of 35 pages)
Breaking News...

Randy Quaid's act unconvincing

Has-been actor Randy Quaid was arrested at the border when, according to Mounties, he tried to impersonate a Canuck in order to illegally enter Canada. (The U. S. doesn't want him, either.)
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