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Funny story: Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

Melania Trump calls White House "A Dump"

New York, NY - Melania Trump returned from her visit at the White House residence and called her new home "a dump." She refused to speak with her husband, President-elect Donald J. Trump, for the entire helicopter ride home, and resorted to silent t...
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Funny story: Cheetos to Sponsor Trump TV

Cheetos to Sponsor Trump TV

Special to TPN - Cheetos' parent company, Frito-Lay, announced that it will be a primary sponsor of President-elect Trump's TV station, CRUD (Conservative Republicans Under Donald). "It's a natural fit," said Vivek Sankaran, COO of Frito-Lay North Am...
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Funny story: Trump Accepts Lead Role in "Bigly"

Trump Accepts Lead Role in "Bigly"

New York, NY - Donald J. Trump accepted the lead role in the new reality film "Bigly", where Trump plays a boy trapped in a man's body and becomes President of the United States. The reality film concept is a takeoff of the movie "Big" which starr...
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Funny story: Trump Wins Bad Hombres Award

Trump Wins Bad Hombres Award

Albuquerque, New Mexico - The Mexican-American Society (MAS) awarded GOP presidential candidate Donald J. Trump the "2016 Bad Hombres Award". Trump became qualified for the award when he spoke in Spanish at the last presidential debate against Hilla...
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Funny story: Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

Trump Considers Dropping Out of Race to Support Johnson

New York, NY - As the number of Republican leaders abandoning GOP nominee Donald J. Trump increases, Trump is considering exiting the presidential race and throwing his full support and resources behind Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson. The co...
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Funny story: Melania Makes Trump Sleep on the Couch

Melania Makes Trump Sleep on the Couch

New York, NY - A livid Melania Trump is reacting to recent revelations that her husband Donald J. Trump grabs women by their genitals and kisses them. Sources state that Melania Trump now requires her husband to sleep on the living room couch at...
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Funny story: Trump Explains Why He's A Genius to Lose a Billion Dollars

Trump Explains Why He's A Genius to Lose a Billion Dollars

Cairo, IL Continuing on the campaign trail, Republican Party candidate Donald Trump said that even though he was preoccupied at the time by building beautiful buildings, hotels, casinos and other capitalist castles, he PERSONALLY did not lose any mo...
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Funny story: Neighbors Catch Rubio Playing with his Sword

Neighbors Catch Rubio Playing with his Sword

West Miami, Fl - Florida Republican Senator Marco Rubio was caught by his neighbors playing with his sword on his front lawn. Rubio was wearing only a rainbow designed Speedo and high healed booties. The spectacle began after midnight. The former...
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Funny story: Trump Campaign's new CEO Quits Fearing She'll be Fired

Trump Campaign's new CEO Quits Fearing She'll be Fired

A few months ago, Donald Trump tapped Kellyanne Conway to be his campaign manager. As an attractive, well-spoken, expert pollster she was supposed to put a good face on a campaign associated with vulgarity, unrestrained hatred, vicious attacks Musli...
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Funny story: With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo

With Ryan Lochte Out, Trump Lands Speedo

New York City, NY - With Ryan Lochte losing his Speedo sponsorship amidst an international Olympic scandal, Donald J. Trump has been selected as Speedo's newest spokesperson. As part of the lucrative contract, Trump has agreed to wear a Speedo under...
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Funny story: Expressing Regrets, Trump Hosts Party in Mexico

Expressing Regrets, Trump Hosts Party in Mexico

Playa del Carmen, Mexico -- Donald J. Trump visited Mexico today in his recent quest to express regrets over his comments about Mexicans. Trump has consistently applied the term "rapists" to Mexicans who cross the border illegally into the United Sta...
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Funny story: Donald Trump's First National Security Briefing

Donald Trump's First National Security Briefing

Donald Trump endured his first two-hour national security briefing without falling asleep. Initially suspicious of the intel and fail to receive the entire picture of the world trouble spots, he walked away impressed by the FBI revelations about the...
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Funny story: Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Distracted Trump Watches Netflix During First Intel Briefing

Washington, DC -- Donald J. Trump was invited to his first intelligence briefing today with staff members of the Director of National Intelligence. As generals and staff spoke about national security concerns, sources close to the candidate stated th...
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Funny story: Chris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting

Chris Christie Scales Trump Tower with Toilet Plungers Begging for Meeting

New York City, NY - NJ Governor Chris Christie was reportedly seen scaling Trump Tower using two toilet bowl plungers and a rope to try to secure a meeting with Donald J. Trump. Gov. Christie climbed to the second floor of the famous glass tower onl...
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Funny story: Blacklists and Babies: Trump's Own McCarthyism

Blacklists and Babies: Trump's Own McCarthyism

Washington, D.C.: To some, a "Trumpism" may be considered a political gaff made during a rally or convention speech. To others, "Trumpism" is a movement akin to McCarthyism of the 1950s. What was once a somewhat curious footnote known as McCar...
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Funny story: Mike Pence To Drop Out of VP Race after Trump Calls him "Six Pence"

Mike Pence To Drop Out of VP Race after Trump Calls him "Six Pence"

Washington, D.C.: Sources close to the Trump campaign have indicated that Indiana Governor Mike Pence is dropping out of the U.S. vice- presidential race. Pence claimed that Trump's name calling went too far. Pence was overheard on a live microp...
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Funny story: Christie Jumps Off GW Bridge But Survives

Christie Jumps Off GW Bridge But Survives

Fort Lee, N.J.: Yesterday, at noon, Governor Chris Christie jumped off the George Washington Bridge. He survived. He was found three miles down the Hudson River floating on his back, noticeably shaken, on top of an inner tube which is believed to...
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Funny story: Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax

Trump Declines GOP Nomination, Cites Reality TV Hoax

Washington, DC: In a stunning turn of events, Donald Trump, the presumed presidential nominee for the Republican Party, declined the nomination altogether, and announced that his entire race to the White House was for a reality TV project. The prem...
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Holiday tips from Santa!

When interviewed, Santa clause was quoted saying "Remember, if you're going to jingle then please jingle all the way". So remember folks, Santa doesn't like a half-assed jingler.
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