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Funny satire stories about Chocolate

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Funny story: Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

Man jailed for not eating a chocolate bar quickly enough

A former council worker who did not eat a chocolate bar quickly enough on a very hot day, leaving it completely melted, has been jailed for 11 years. Under the extended sentence for chocolate product protection, Joey Smith will have to serve two-t...
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Funny story: Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

Lorry driver Richard Langford jailed for trying to import 50,000 chocolate bars through Dover

A lorry driver has been jailed for smuggling chocolate bars through the Port of Dover. Richard Langford, 31, was caught with a staggering 5,000 kilos of Dairy Milk, 1,000 kilos of Galaxy and 3,000 U.S. Hershey's chocolate bars when he was stopped...
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Funny story: Chocolate Causing Facial Hair growth because of Audrey Hepburn Ad Campaign

Chocolate Causing Facial Hair growth because of Audrey Hepburn Ad Campaign

The team behind resurrecting Audrey Hepburn for a recent TV commercial now admit they may have got it horribly wrong. The advert was a milestone in special effects and Audrey's face was recreated using computer graphics (CG). Using FACS (facial...
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Funny story: Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Health officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon

Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...
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Funny story: New Christian Sect Giving Out Chocolate Coated Cookies For Communion Goes Viral

New Christian Sect Giving Out Chocolate Coated Cookies For Communion Goes Viral

A new religious group using chocolate coated cookies and Cola for communion purposes has outstripped all popular religions in church attendance figures according to "Which Church" magazine. Normally a kind of nasty old bread called Hosta is used. Thi...
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Funny story: Military airlifts planned for future traffic jams during Sunbelt snow/ice storms

Military airlifts planned for future traffic jams during Sunbelt snow/ice storms

Marietta, GA-Representatives of Lockheed-Martin, the United States Air Force, the United States Army, the Federal Emergency Management Agency and various local state agencies are drafting contingency plans for a Berlin-airlift response which official...
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Funny story: Holland Sends Kim Jong Un 4,000 Pounds of His Favorite Chocolate Candy

Holland Sends Kim Jong Un 4,000 Pounds of His Favorite Chocolate Candy

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Holland the country which is famous for chocolate, tulips, and neutrality has just put a gigantic smile on the face of the leader of North Korea Kim Jong Un. Holland's Dyke News Agency is reporting that the government of H...
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Funny story: A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

A Chemist In Cincinnati Discovers The Ingredients In M&M's and Manufactures N&N's

CINCINNATI - A chemist who has resided in Cincinnati all of his life has just informed American Spotlight Magazine that he has invented a new hard shell chocolate candy. Livingston Odessa who received his Chemistry Degree from Johnny Appleseed Uni...
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Funny story: Tyra Banks Vows To Lose Her Muffin Top

Tyra Banks Vows To Lose Her Muffin Top

NEW YORK CITY - The host of America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks, has promised that she is going to do everything within her power to get rid of the muffin top that she has developed over the past few months. Tyra told her good friend Beyonce that...
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Funny story: New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

New Chocolate Sensation will be First Past the Post in Sales

A new Chocolate bar was launched today by Knestles named HORSE DELIGHT. It is the product of years of research into the eating habits of both humans and horses. Chief Executive of Knestles, Toby Barker, said that HORSE DELIGHT would be the the 'bi...
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Funny story: Anti Porn group make their own Movies

Anti Porn group make their own Movies

A group in California have started to make what they are calling Anti Porn movies featuring scenarios that are common to adult movies but that end up in wholesome activities. The films are being distributed via a website and at the moment there...
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Funny story: The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The Shuttlecocks All Set To Invade Germany Over Christmas

The dearth of news emanating from Martin and Anne Shuttlecock's locally based address recently has led to a great deal of speculation. Some observers assumed that the happily inept couple have gone into retirement, or at the very least, semi-retir...
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Funny story: Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Football Gossip - WORLD CUP QUALIFYING September 2012

Moldova 0 England 5 Moldova were rolled over by The Three Lions. Two goals from Frank Lampard, one from Jermaine Defoe and first international strikes from James Milner and Leighton Baines. I think even Leyton Orient might have scored against Moldova. Scotland 0 Serbia 0 Manager Craig Levein told the press conference he believed that his team could win all 10 qualifying games. He was wrong.
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Funny story: Euro 2012: The real reason Frank Lampard was 'dropped from the squad' denial

Euro 2012: The real reason Frank Lampard was 'dropped from the squad' denial

The England camp today moved to distance themselves from claims in the Daily Fail newspaper that Frank Lampard is not really injured but was dropped from the squad because bosses were worried he would eat all the chocolate in Belgium where the team w...
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Funny story: Chocolate Lego bricks lets kids play with their food

Chocolate Lego bricks lets kids play with their food

Better known for their range of plastic bricks, and computer games, and theme parks, Lego have created a chocolate version of their plastic bricks. "They don't come in all the shapes and sizes of the plastic bricks," said Julie Poe, who created th...
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Funny story: Chocolate harvest failed, women advised to stock-up

Chocolate harvest failed, women advised to stock-up

Women are being urged to stockpile chocolate with the news that the 2012 cocoa bean crop is the lowest on record. "Basically," said psychologist, Paige Turner, "if you're a woman and you're menopausal, breaking up with your boyfriend, having a bad...
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Funny story: Eighties Pop Sensation To Make Comeback

Eighties Pop Sensation To Make Comeback

Former star of Aussie soap opera 'Son's and Neighbours', and one time heart-throb, Ringo Dingo, is to release a new album after 23 years in the musical wilderness. Dingo, 45, best remembered for his 1986 smash hit, 'Pat Sharp's Mullet', said he pl...
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Funny story: Emergency Room Visits Hit Record High on Valentines Day

Emergency Room Visits Hit Record High on Valentines Day

Starting in Europe, a sharp rise in medical emergencies was detected in at least seven countries beginning this February 14, Valentines Day. The trend has reportedly continued west into Canada and the United States but is apparently affecting only...
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L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation

"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
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