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Funny satire stories about Chimps

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Funny story: Chimpanzees in New York get issued habeas corpus

Chimpanzees in New York get issued habeas corpus

Two chimps in New York get their day in court when a judge issued a writ of habeas corpus in a case brought by animal rights activist. Lawyers for the chimps said the court had "implicitly determined" that the two chimps were 96 percent human and...
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Funny story: Obama Gives Evolution Explanation

Obama Gives Evolution Explanation

Washington DC - Under fire for asking Republicans scientific questions but giving Democrats a pass, reporters swarmed President Obama as he and the First Lady were leaving a fashionable Georgetown restaurant and demanded he explain to them the theory...
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Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...
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Funny story: Chimps Demand Retirement Party

Chimps Demand Retirement Party

It happened as soon as the National Institutes of Health announced this week that "...310 chimps will be retiring from medical research over the next few years..." One of the chimps said, "Throwing us a party, it's the least they can do, we've put in our time." And the chimps weren't at all shy about exactly what kind of a party it should be. Here are a few of the things they demanded: --...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Chimps Suffer Mid-Life Crises Too

Scientists Discover Chimps Suffer Mid-Life Crises Too

Following extensive research by a group of scientists it's been confirmed that chimpanzees are even more like humans than we thought. Researchers studied the behaviour of around 500 captive chimps all over the world and found that their sense of w...
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Funny story: Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Brum, Land of the Brummies: Exasperated Brummies have been left with long waits and repeatedly been transferred to wrong Departments because the strong Brummie accent has baffled the voice recognition software. The Brummie twang causes the machin...
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Funny story: Neo Nazi Tells Of Chimp Anguish

Neo Nazi Tells Of Chimp Anguish

A hardened British neo nazi broke down and wept openly in front of reporters last night as he revealed that his married daughter had fled the family home to set up a shelter in The Democratic Republic Of The Congo to care for young chimps abandoned b...
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L.A.P.D Weighs in on Jenner's Transformation

"Bruce Jenner drove like a prick," said a police spokesman. " Caitlyn drives like a cunt. Any questions?"
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