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Funny satire stories about Chimps

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The Chimp's On You

Funny story: The Chimp's On You

A rare hairless chimp called "Chimp Chop" has died unexpectedly his keepers say. He was unexpectedly hit by a bus after unexpectedly fleeing from his enclosure and out onto a busy road. The bus driver was unnerved by the unexpected appearance...

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Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

Funny story: Chimps Beat a Path to Doors of Law Schools

No monkeying around! Now that they are pressing for the right to sue, a number of chimps have decided to go to law school. One chimp points out, "The proceeds of successful lawsuits should stay within the species. Why should we let bossy humans...

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Chimps Demand Retirement Party

Funny story: Chimps Demand Retirement Party

It happened as soon as the National Institutes of Health announced this week that "...310 chimps will be retiring from medical research over the next few years..." One of the chimps said, "Throwing us a party, it's the least they can do, we've put in our time." And the chimps weren't at all shy about exactly what kind of a party it should be. Here are a few of the things they demanded: --...

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Scientists Discover Chimps Suffer Mid-Life Crises Too

Funny story: Scientists Discover Chimps Suffer Mid-Life Crises Too

Following extensive research by a group of scientists it's been confirmed that chimpanzees are even more like humans than we thought. Researchers studied the behaviour of around 500 captive chimps all over the world and found that their sense of w...

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Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Funny story: Birmingham City Council's computerised phone system goes into 'meltdown'!

Brum, Land of the Brummies: Exasperated Brummies have been left with long waits and repeatedly been transferred to wrong Departments because the strong Brummie accent has baffled the voice recognition software. The Brummie twang causes the machin...

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Neo Nazi Tells Of Chimp Anguish

Funny story: Neo Nazi Tells Of Chimp Anguish

A hardened British neo nazi broke down and wept openly in front of reporters last night as he revealed that his married daughter had fled the family home to set up a shelter in The Democratic Republic Of The Congo to care for young chimps abandoned b...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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