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Funny satire stories about Chicago Cubs

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Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

Funny story: Cubs Forced Out of Wrigley Field Just After Opening Day

In a stunning announcement it has been learned the Chicago Cubs will have to vacate Wrigley Field immediately and will not be able to return to the field for any future home games. Apparently the Cubs owner, Thomas S. Ricketts was not aware of a cla...

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God Admits Rigging the World Series

Funny story: God Admits Rigging the World Series

God Almighty, aka Allah, the High Almighty, Jehovah, and Yahweh admits that he caused the World Series to go out to the full seven games. "I know it's unprecedented, but come on, I haven't ever interfered before, not even during that dreadful Blac...

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Cubs Win World Series; Christ Returns to Earth

CLEVELAND--In a move Vatican officials are calling "purely coincidental," to the Chicago Cubs' victory in the World Series, Jesus Christ, Son of God and Savior of Humanity, left His place at the right hand of the Father early Thursday morning, and ha...

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Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

Funny story: Who Threw the Overalls in Mr. Murphy's Chowder?

NY Mets player Daniel Murphy has astonished the sports world -- and himself -- with a history-making performance. Home runs in six consecutive post-season games! There's a secret to his success. Keep it under your hat, but SOMEONE has been throwin...

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Arrieta Delivers Baby; Cubs Win

The Chicago Cubs are on the verge of securing a NLDS series win over the St. Louis Cardinals. With the series victory they will only have one team in their way for the opportunity to compete in the World Series, for the first time since 1945. The...

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Ricketts Premeditates State Executions

Lincoln, Nebraska - Despite the fact that Governor Pete Ricketts' veto to repeal the death penalty was overridden by Nebraskan State Senators, Ricketts has promised to continue with executions. In his first attempt, he made a deal with an undergr...

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Pope-A-Dope Part 1: Pope Francis Deals It Up From The Bottom Of His Own Private What The Heck

Funny story: Pope-A-Dope Part 1: Pope Francis Deals It Up From The Bottom Of His Own Private What The Heck

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis unleashed his how you like me now mission statement for his (so far anyway) perpetually perplexing papacy Tuesday. During which he attempted to explain - via a variety of highly suspicious words otherwise recklessly distr...

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Chicago Baseball Fans Are Mad As Hell

Funny story: Chicago Baseball Fans Are Mad As Hell

CHICAGO - Lately it seems that once the National Anthem ends at Wrigley Field, home of the Cubs and Comiskey Park, home of the White Sox, it is all downhill from there. Die-hard fans are furious with both the Cubbies and the Sox due to the fact th...

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Divorce Possible in Cubs and Wrigley Field Spat

CHICAGO-After nearly a century of blissful failure in their marriage, the city of Chicago and their beloved Cubbies may be coming apart at the baseball seams. Threats of divorce with no settlement are always a bad sign when the bickering couple ha...

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Cubs Fan Saves City from Complaining Virus

"We're tired of complaining!" cried a male resident of Imperial County, Calif., responding to a recent outbreak of a not-seen-before 'Complaining Virus' that afflicted citizens of the surrounding towns. The virus was highly contagious and spread f...

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Bad Dreams: Heady Cubs' Fan Beheads a Goat

Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts did not awake to find a goat's head in his bed. No, the poor animal's head was delivered in a box to the Wrigley Field offices. This makes Wrigley Field the "Field of Nightmares." As far as known, Don Vito Corleo...

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Cubs fans invoke Lee Elia's Curse on front office

Funny story: Cubs fans invoke Lee Elia's Curse on front office

Representatives of the Chicago Cubs front office broke up a ceremony near Wrigley Field Monday, fearing the results might adversely affect the team's famous curse. Fans then unleashed a new wave of curses, the likes of which haven't been heard at...

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Ricketts promises bigger balls for 2012 Chicago Cubs

Funny story: Ricketts promises bigger balls for 2012 Chicago Cubs

Thomas S. Ricketts announced today the franchise of the Chicago Cubs are considering a league-switch which would radically affect Major League Baseball's current alignments. Ricketts is in negotiations with Major League Soccer to merge the Cubs f...

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Frustrated Lou Piniella grabs beer, activates emergency slide in dugout

Funny story: Frustrated Lou Piniella grabs beer, activates emergency slide in dugout

SAN FRANCISCO, CA-Following an 8-7 loss to the San Francisco Giants, their 67th of the season, Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella "snapped" according to witnesses. Piniella cursed out the Cubs organization on the P.A. system before grabbing a case...

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Mark Cuban Buys The Chicago Cubs

Funny story: Mark Cuban Buys The Chicago Cubs

CHICAGO, Illinois - After months of countless meetings and endless deliberations, Dallas Mavericks' owner Mark Cuban has finally purchased the Chicago Cubs. The selling price was not disclosed but Mark Cuban's personal secretary, Mitzi Backowitz t...

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MLB pays teams to let Cubs win in 2008

Funny story: MLB pays teams to let Cubs win in 2008

The Chicago Cubs are having their best season in 100 years. They look like they may be in the World Series in 2008. They are currently having the best record in the National League. Fans in Chicago are already in pennant fever a Cub tickets are se...

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Cubs Assemble Roster of Hellraisers for 2008

Funny story: Cubs Assemble Roster of Hellraisers for 2008

Chicago Cubs general manager Jim Hendry believes that he has finally come up with the winning formula to break the team's 100 year World Series drought.

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Ron Paul to Play for the Iowa Cubs

Funny story: Ron Paul to Play for the Iowa Cubs

Presidential candidate Ron Paul (R-Texas) announced today that he will take a 2-week break from the campaign so he can try out for the Iowa Cubs, a AAA minor league baseball team that serves as a farm team for the major league Chicago Cubs team.

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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