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Funny satire stories about Chicago Bears

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Jay Cutler suffers season threatening ego bruise

Funny story: Jay Cutler suffers season threatening ego bruise

After putting on a convincing performance earlier in the loss against the Arizona Cardinals Sunday afternoon, Jay Cutler realized he just isn't that good and took a dive immediately after throwing a pick-6. The humiliation of making another glaringl...

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Michelle Obama Says She Doesn't Like Her Husband Betting On Sports Games

Funny story: Michelle Obama Says She Doesn't Like Her Husband Betting On Sports Games

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana - The nation's first lady, Michelle Obama was in Indianapolis speaking to a group of pre-law students at Johnny Appleseed University. She stressed that our great nation, now more than ever, needs good, competent, affordable l...

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Aaron Rodgers Returns And Leads The Green Bay Packers Past The Chicago Bears And Into The NFL Playoffs

Funny story: Aaron Rodgers Returns And Leads The Green Bay Packers Past The Chicago Bears And Into The NFL Playoffs

CHICAGO - Quarterback Aaron Rodgers returned to the Green Bay Packers after missing 8 games due to a broken clavicle as well as a bruised right ear lobe. Green Bay's #12 managed to lead his team into the NFL playoffs by defeating the Chicago Bears...

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The New York Giants Are Now 0-6 As They Get Beat By The Chicago Bears

Funny story: The New York Giants Are Now 0-6 As They Get Beat By The Chicago Bears

NEW YORK CITY - There is no happiness in The City That Never Sleeps as their Giants have now lost half a dozen games. The Chicago Bears are the latest team to beat Coach Tom Coughlin's boys and when the final gun sounded the score was 27-21. Ma...

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The Detroit Lions Make Bankrupt Detroit Proud As They Up Their Record To 3-1

Funny story: The Detroit Lions Make Bankrupt Detroit Proud As They Up Their Record To 3-1

DETROIT - Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti said that the Chicago Bears had more turnovers than a Bronx bakery (5). And that little stat helped the Lions defeat the boys from the Windy City by a score of 40-32. The Lions coaches were...

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Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy The Chicago Bears

Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Wants To Buy The Chicago Bears

CHICAGO - The Windy City is home to the Bears, the Cubs, the White Sox, the Bulls, the Black Hawks, and to The Big O, Oprah Winfrey. Winfrey recently appeared on The Viagra View and she confessed to Regis Philbin that she has made an offer to purc...

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Michelle Obama Picks The Chicago Bears To Make It To The Super Bowl

Funny story: Michelle Obama Picks The Chicago Bears To Make It To The Super Bowl

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The First Lady was asked how she thinks her hometown Chicago Bears are going to do in the NFL this year. She smiled and said that she has a real good feeling about the team. She pointed out that she had met with several players...

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Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

Funny story: Bears WR tells Scottish reporter about Viagra use in the NFL

CHICAGO, Illinois (ABSNN) - "They test NFL players for performance enhancement drugs (PED's), but what they're looking for is steroids, not male enhancement drugs such as Viagra. They can stop us from bulking up, but not from getting laid," said Chi...

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Brian Urlacher of The Chicago Bears Breaks Up With Jenny McCarthy

Funny story: Brian Urlacher of The Chicago Bears Breaks Up With Jenny McCarthy

CHICAGO - In what has got to be one of the biggest surprise breakups in recent sports celebrity history, Chicago Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher has just kissed Playboy cover girl Jenny McCarthy bye bye. Neither Urlacher, 34, nor McCarthy,...

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Mike Martz Bombshell: I Designed That Reverse On My Old, Buzzing Coleco Electric Football Game

Funny story: Mike Martz Bombshell: I Designed That Reverse On My Old, Buzzing Coleco Electric Football Game

Mike Martz, The Chicago Bears Offensive Collapse Coordinator, admitted during a impromptu interview with former hottie (and current "nottie") Pam Oliver that he was secretly hired by the Green Bay Packers, to give them an advantage during the NFC Cha...

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Michael Vick Loses Dogfight Against Bears In Chicago.

Funny story: Michael Vick Loses Dogfight Against Bears In Chicago.

Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles lost a dog fight in Chicago, losing 31-26. There Are Not Nearly... ... as many sports-related dog metaphors as I first thought."It was a beating, an absolute beagle-whupping," said Vick, who was dogged by t...

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Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever

Funny story: Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever

Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever. Sealing their place in history with a stellar 4 reception performance in Chicago, the tandem of Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall have been named the NFL's best, p...

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Area Man Feels Vindicated After Calling Radio Sports Show

Chicago, Illinois - Laurence Fulton, 42, called the local radio sports show, "Teddy and the Bear" last Sunday to discuss the Chicago Bears' chances at winning a title next year. Larry, a full time listener to the show and part time father, de...

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Chicago Bears starting quarterback has new trick

Funny story: Chicago Bears starting quarterback has new trick

Rex Grossman, the starting quaterback for the Chicago Bears has recently surprised the sporting world with his new ability to "shapeshift" into a cute rodent. His new ability has not been willingly accepted by everyone though, and an appea...

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