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Funny story:  Noose tightens around Donziger's neck

Noose tightens around Donziger's neck

New York - Dumped by his own attorneys as a potential bankruptcy liability Amazonbotch litigation hotshot Steven Donziger's ass is in a sling alright. Ecuador's $19 billion Chevron scam mastermind owes millions in unpaid legal fees to attorneys in...
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Funny story:  Chevron opens Moon regional HQ

Chevron opens Moon regional HQ

Pennsylvania - Newly acquired lunar oil field rights mean the San Ramon-based super major needs a new regional headquarters office campus a Chevron source said today. And next month the company will be starting up its newbuild-in-the-sky according...
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Funny story:  Chevron eyes Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald 'to fill Chuck Hagel's boots'

Chevron eyes Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald 'to fill Chuck Hagel's boots'

San Ramon - "You mean as in, er, 'With Concrete?' maybe?" bemused Big Oil sources quipped tonight as Chevron top brass reviewed the scalps Fitzie's notched up fighting organized crime in the last 30 years. This weekend the awesome former US Attor...
View 'Chevron eyes Scooter Libby prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald 'to fill Chuck Hagel's boots''
Funny story:  Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam

Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam

Long Island - "He's always been in cahoots with that dumbass Rafael Correa," a leading US taxation consultant commented as a tense standoff between UK police and Ecuador's London embassy escalated today. The former IRS lawyer who has represented a...
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Funny story:  OMG! Feds warn that Farcebook founder 'is Karen Hinton's secret brat'

OMG! Feds warn that Farcebook founder 'is Karen Hinton's secret brat'

Washington - DNA testing of the wannabe billionaire's soft tissue has thrown up the ultimate rogue parent scenario. According to a secret FBI memo published today some distinctive flaws in the maternal genome identify Ecuador corruption-peddling t...
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Funny story:  Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Aceh quakes trigger massive gas bubble in Chevron's Barrow Island Gorgon project

Indonesia - Two huge shocks that rattled the quake-torn province of Aceh, Indonesia this morning may have dislodged vast sub-oceanic reserves of trapped natural gas off the coast of Western Australia according to reports. The Carnarvon Basin gas f...
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Funny story:  Windsor Castle oil spill 'part of Chevron Ecuador pollution scam'

Windsor Castle oil spill 'part of Chevron Ecuador pollution scam'

Windsor, Berks - An oil leak close to a newly installed River Thames hydro power turbine near Windsor Castle has been blamed by Amazonbotch supporters on US super major Chevron. Thousands of gallons of sweet light crude have been reported gushing...
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Funny story:  Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Oil Companies Creating Special Packaging for $5-a-Gallon Gas

Houston, Texas -- As gasoline prices ratchet up past the $4-a-gallon mark, the oil industry is preparing a more luxurious way to present its increasingly costly product to consumers. "Think expensive fragrances, top-shelf liquor and premium cosmet...
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Funny story:  US troops to guard Chevron's Gorgon gas fields in Western Australia

US troops to guard Chevron's Gorgon gas fields in Western Australia

Washington - International Space Station monitoring programs have detected pesky Iranian submarines attempting to nuke Chevron's Gorgon and Wheatstone gas fields off the Western Australian coast. Initial reports said the subs 'were camouflaged wit...
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Funny story:  'Ecuadorean saboteurs' now suspected behind Kingsnorth oil depot blaze

'Ecuadorean saboteurs' now suspected behind Kingsnorth oil depot blaze

Kent - Pals of Ecuadorean malicious law suit nutjobs are thought to be behind a massive blaze at the Eco Oil depot in Kingsnorth, Kent. The second 'arson' in just two days follows Thursday's Chevron Pembroke disaster where two tankers allegedly co...
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Funny story:  Ecuadorean sabotage suspected at Chevron Pembroke blast

Ecuadorean sabotage suspected at Chevron Pembroke blast

Wales - Of course there have been no actual sightings of a vampire-masked Steven Donziger - or Karen Hinton - skulking in the shadows by the Welsh site. But the former Texaco refinery was the scene of a dramatic blast on Thursday evening amid sus...
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Funny story:  U.S. Gasoline Falls Below $3.85 a Gallon, Travelers Temporarily Thrilled

U.S. Gasoline Falls Below $3.85 a Gallon, Travelers Temporarily Thrilled

Just in time for the Memorial Day weekend travel and the unofficial start to summer, U.S. gasoline prices have fallen below a national average price of $3.85 a gallon. Recent mandates by government officials had warned oil producers that collusi...
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Funny story:  Hush-hush moves will double the USA's Strategic Petroleum Reserve

Hush-hush moves will double the USA's Strategic Petroleum Reserve

New Orleans - The value of the nation's 727 million barrel emergency tank passed a staggering $80 billion today as crude soared above the $108 a barrel mark. Now secret moves by Big Oil will see the US Strategic Petroleum Reserve double its capaci...
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Funny story:  Extortion racket in Chevron Ecuador case 'goes all the way to Palace boiler room scam'

Extortion racket in Chevron Ecuador case 'goes all the way to Palace boiler room scam'

New York - (Crude Business): A Manhattan federal court heard today how a seedy Ecuadorean extortion racket is the outsourced arm of a Buckingham Palace boiler room scam. US super major Chevron Corp has filed civil racketeering charges detailing l...
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Funny story:  Microsoft Agrees to Settlement with Chevron

Microsoft Agrees to Settlement with Chevron

Following five years of legal negotiations between Chevron and Microsoft Corporation, the lawsuit involving Chevron logo and trademark infringement by Microsoft has been settled for an undisclosed amount. Available as a graphical image in most all...
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Funny story:  Ecuador schmoozes Assange with passport, condo, own TV show in exchange for Wikileaks Chevron lawsuit cables

Ecuador schmoozes Assange with passport, condo, own TV show in exchange for Wikileaks Chevron lawsuit cables

Quito - (Assange Ass Mess): "Plus all the gorgeous hot-assed sun-kisst Latinas you could ever shag!" was the gist of an excited Ecuador Justice Ministry negotiator's rant today. The offer to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is said to include a Na...
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Funny story:  Ex-Chevron director General Jones dumps Obama

Ex-Chevron director General Jones dumps Obama

Washington AC/DC - (Crude Stuff): The lifeblood drained from the collective testicles of the Obama entourage today as former NATO supreme commander Gen James Jones walked away from his National Security Adviser post. Scrotally depleted and shrive...
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Funny story:  Karmic payback as mighty Chevron war chest poised to swoop on BP fire sale

Karmic payback as mighty Chevron war chest poised to swoop on BP fire sale

San Ramon - (Crude Mess): Years of murky shenanigans by BP's disgraced perjuring former CEO Lord Browne look set to rebound on the London-based supermajor. Exquisitely choreographed acts of espionage, insider dealing, dirty tricks and outright chi...
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