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Funny story: Charity campaign for Christmas 2011 launched: Save a Chav for Crimbo

Charity campaign for Christmas 2011 launched: Save a Chav for Crimbo

Tulisa Contostavlos, X Factor judge and 'N'Dubz' singer (yeh right, Ed.) has today launched this years charity campaign, to run over the festive season. 'Save a Chav for Crimbo' was launched today in Essex nightclub 'Slappers', by Ms. Contostavlos...
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Funny story: Government and DWP announce new Yob Centres

Government and DWP announce new Yob Centres

The Government, through the Department for Work and Pensions, has announced the introduction of new Yob Centres aimed especially at the work-shy, brain dead and late-teen New Direction fans. Tastefully decorated in appealing "street pizza" pattern...
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Funny story: Talent show winner was serial killer

Talent show winner was serial killer

The makers of TV talent show "Britain's Chavs Will Attempt to Entertain You" were shocked when it was revealed that the winner of this year's contest was a serial killer who carried out murders on live television. Mr Stabby, a magician, was praise...
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Funny story: Rioters target shops they like

Rioters target shops they like

Rioters in Manchester and London appear to be targeting shops that they like. "We've seen a large number of shops targeted," said detective inspector Gutta Bungh. "Mainly though, they appear to be Miss Selfridge, Top Shop, Elizabeth Duke and Matal...
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Funny story: Olympic Torch to be carried through the streets of Middlesbrough, North East England on its way to London

Olympic Torch to be carried through the streets of Middlesbrough, North East England on its way to London

Most residents of Middlesbrough, England, were ecstatic when they heard that the Olympic Torch will be carried through their town en route to London for the opening of the 2012 Olympic Games. The 'handing over' of the torch will take place at The...
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Funny story: Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet, Mddlesbrough, both in denial when told they are CHAVS

Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet, Mddlesbrough, both in denial when told they are CHAVS

Takwana and Anitakapita met with their favourite Spoof Writer today after calling her to set up a meeting in their favourite restaurant, Morrisons' Berwick Hills Branch. By the time our writer met up with them they were both 'fit to be tied'. She asked them why they were so obviously angry. First they sat down at a table near the window with cups of tea and tuna sandwiches whilst the girls...
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Funny story: Mink Safe Haven Project Begins

Mink Safe Haven Project Begins

The first ever initiative to provide a safe haven for minks has begun in the West of Scotland. The Scottish Mink Project has been given £1 million to provide a safe area and shelter for thousands of minks and chavs in Glasgow. Large aerodrome s...
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Funny story: Spoofer Forced to Live in Chaverty for a Day

Spoofer Forced to Live in Chaverty for a Day

BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless was captured by a rogue gang of chavs today, and was forced to live with them. "Oh," he said. "MY GOD! I was away from my fricking mother! That sucks!" He said that experience was harrowing. "After two hours,...
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Funny story: ASBO's Fail Against Terrorism and Chavs - Terrorists to have their Bomb Making Equipment Confiscated, just like Chavs

ASBO's Fail Against Terrorism and Chavs - Terrorists to have their Bomb Making Equipment Confiscated, just like Chavs

The UK Government is finally getting tough on terrorists after ASBO's fail. The new laws will give police the power to take "bomb making equipment off terrorist if they believe they are being used anti-social" a spokes man said today. The move...
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Funny story: Chavs Found to Be Remaining Neanderthals

Chavs Found to Be Remaining Neanderthals

BIRMINGHAM - A new report by the University of Birmingham has found out that homo stultus (common chav), is a 99% descendent of the Neanderthals. "Yeah," said Dr. Bill Bates, "one of our colleagues got into a fight with a chav - and won. There was...
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Funny story: Fit Stonehenge Teenager Unearthed With Early Body Piercings

Fit Stonehenge Teenager Unearthed With Early Body Piercings

Looks like Bronze Age teenagers were no different to the chavs of today. Archaeologists examining the 3000 year old remains of a teenage girl have found clear evidence of piercings to her nose, upper lip, both ear-lobes, her left eyebrow and more...
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Funny story: Ed Gives Away Labour Leadership - But Not To David!

Ed Gives Away Labour Leadership - But Not To David!

Shock rippled through Labour today as Edward Miliband made a shocking revelation in his first speech - he is reluctantly giving up the leadership of Labour to his sister Kelly Miliband, after their mother Marion stepped in, saying "The boys get all...
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Funny story: X-Factor Chav Defends Herself On This Morning

X-Factor Chav Defends Herself On This Morning

X-Factor reject Chloe Mafia Has spoken out on ITV's This Morning about the allegations she is a paid escort and a heavy coke user. Speaking to Phil and the other one that's not Fern she said "No, right I's didn't do any of that right because I's...
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Funny story: Chav Turned Away At Hospital

Chav Turned Away At Hospital

In a recent incident in a Northern hospital complex a chavtastic teenager who swaggered into Ward 101 for a back operation whilst clearly under the influence was turned away. The chav, known only as Carl, was wearing a huge parka style coat, very...
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Funny story: Workshy Chav Father Of Twelve Battered Senseless

Workshy Chav Father Of Twelve Battered Senseless

Independent observers have warned about this sort of thing for years, and it finally happened last night. Workshy chav, Delorian Sedgewick was battered senseless and hospitalised by the irate father of his latest beau, as he started what has been...
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Funny story: Scrotal mismanagement lands bad chav father in world record books

Scrotal mismanagement lands bad chav father in world record books

He was dubbed Britain's worst father after successfully inserting his penis into seven separate fat lasses with low self esteem and ejaculating, which resulted in seven more mouths to feed and drain the national purse. He then found an eighth will...
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Funny story: Local man gets taken roughly up the back passage by sat-nav

Local man gets taken roughly up the back passage by sat-nav

A Local man seeking the golden beaches of Crapham Down, near Beachy Head, East Sussex, was disappointed when his GPS navigation system led him 400 miles off course, landing him instead, in the industrial northern town of Pisser Clough, near Widdop, W...
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Funny story: Local Chav gets bummed senseless by own pit bull

Local Chav gets bummed senseless by own pit bull

A 17 year old chav has told how he thought he was going to die during a horrific bumming that left him with an inability to walk straight, but has cleared his speech impediment right up. The boy, who would rather be referred to as a "man" but has...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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