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Funny satire stories about Champions League

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Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

Funny story: Real Madrid Sign Karius From Liverpool

European champions Real Madrid celebrated last night after overcoming a resilient Liverpool side in the Champions League final in Kiev, then announced they have signed the Anfield club's German goalkeeper, Loris Karius. Madrid won the game 3-1 - t...

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Argentinian Beard 1 vs Spanish beard 0

Beard lovers worldwide were glued to the Atletico Madrid vs Bayern Munich Champions League semi-final this evening, where Diego Simeone went head-to-head (or chin-to-chin) with Pep Guardiola in the most anticipated beard-off since the creation of Ami...

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English clubs form their own Champions league competition!

Funny story: English clubs form their own Champions league competition!

After the dire performances of all English clubs in the European Champions League the FA (Football Association for our US friends) has decided to withdraw all English clubs because it is fed up having an embarrassing red nose every time it has to exp...

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Arsene Wenger rings credit card fraud team after seeing Sanchez purchase on monthly bill

Funny story: Arsene Wenger rings credit card fraud team after seeing Sanchez purchase on monthly bill

Arsenal FC manager Arsene Wenger reported the theft of his credit card to his banks fraud team today. The football coach became suspicious that someone was using his card when coming across the £30 million purchase of Chilean striker Alexis Sanchez i...

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Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Funny story: Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Premier League front-runners Swansea today admitted they are planning an appeal should they banned from playing in the Champions League next season. A spokesman for UEFA confirmed it would be a problem for Swansea to represent England in the Champ...

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Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg. HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2 Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team. Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0 Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...

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Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Funny story: Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...

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Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

Funny story: Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

After circus act Fernando Torres caught fire performing a hat-trick in Chelsea's 6-1 win over QPR in West London on Sunday, experts claim his hot spell is down to climate change. Walter Waffleson from the Institute of Hot Air Studies, explained th...

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Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Funny story: Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Unbelievable. Probably the only word to sum up Chelsea's performance at the Nou Camp tonight. The game didn't start well for Chelsea when they lost Gary Cahill to a strained sideburn after eleven minutes. It got worse when Sergio Busquets gave Bar...

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Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Funny story: Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...

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Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Funny story: Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...

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Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

Funny story: Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

CARLOS TEVEZ has accused Roberto Mancini of treating him 'like a dog' and branded the Manchester City boss 'a liar'. The Argentine returns to City today after three months on strike. He blasted Mancini as he recalled the Champions League game v Ba...

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Rooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League

Funny story: Rooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League

Wayne Rooney put a positive spin on Manchester United's exit from the Champions League telling the waiting press pack he 'can't wait' to play in the Europa League. "Yeah, it's great, I've never played on a Thursday night before - well exciting - when...

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Exit Stage: Group

Manchester: the epicentre of football. Well, the epicentre of Thursday night Channel Five football. Instead of the Bernabeu in the next round Manchester City will be looking to the Britannia stadium for their midweek football. As Man City prepare to...

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Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

Funny story: Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

UEFA Champions League - It's good news for London, but a disaster for Manchester, as both Manchester clubs - City and United - crashed out of the tournament, whilst Arsenal and Chelsea progressed to the knockout stages. City fanatic, Liam Gaggler,...

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All football fans are mugs

At a recent FIFF meeting (Football Is Finally Finished), Mr Porkypies'n Batter gave a resounding insight into what he thought of people connected with football. "It's quite simple. The whole lot of them are mugs. It has been my total life's ambit...

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Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Funny story: Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has announced a surprise selection for his named striker in the Champion's League match against Basel at Old Trafford. After losing stars Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez to injury, Ferguson was said to be...

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Man U make Champions League group stage draw-master top seed for knock-out phase draw

Manchester United have confirmed they will be making the man who presided over the draw for the Champions League group stage, their top seed to take the reigns for the draw for the knock-out phase of this years competition. Officials for the Premi...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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