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Funny story:  Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Swansea appeal to UEFA about Champions League ban

Premier League front-runners Swansea today admitted they are planning an appeal should they banned from playing in the Champions League next season. A spokesman for UEFA confirmed it would be a problem for Swansea to represent England in the Champ...
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Funny story:  Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments (Scotland) 9th August 2012

Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg. HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2 Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team. Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0 Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...
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Funny story:  Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...
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Funny story:  Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

Fernando Torres hot spell 'due to climate change' says expert

After circus act Fernando Torres caught fire performing a hat-trick in Chelsea's 6-1 win over QPR in West London on Sunday, experts claim his hot spell is down to climate change. Walter Waffleson from the Institute of Hot Air Studies, explained th...
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Funny story:  Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Unbelievable. Probably the only word to sum up Chelsea's performance at the Nou Camp tonight. The game didn't start well for Chelsea when they lost Gary Cahill to a strained sideburn after eleven minutes. It got worse when Sergio Busquets gave Bar...
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Funny story:  Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...
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Funny story:  Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Man United quit midweek European matches because of 'busy fixture list'

Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...
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Funny story:  Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

Tevez: Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog

CARLOS TEVEZ has accused Roberto Mancini of treating him 'like a dog' and branded the Manchester City boss 'a liar'. The Argentine returns to City today after three months on strike. He blasted Mancini as he recalled the Champions League game v Ba...
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Funny story:  Rooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League

Rooney 'Can't Wait' To Play In The Europa League

Wayne Rooney put a positive spin on Manchester United's exit from the Champions League telling the waiting press pack he 'can't wait' to play in the Europa League. "Yeah, it's great, I've never played on a Thursday night before - well exciting - when...
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Funny story:  Exit Stage: Group

Exit Stage: Group

Manchester: the epicentre of football. Well, the epicentre of Thursday night Channel Five football. Instead of the Bernabeu in the next round Manchester City will be looking to the Britannia stadium for their midweek football. As Man City prepare to...
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Funny story:  Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

Manchester 0 London 2 - Hovis Jugglers Gutted

UEFA Champions League - It's good news for London, but a disaster for Manchester, as both Manchester clubs - City and United - crashed out of the tournament, whilst Arsenal and Chelsea progressed to the knockout stages. City fanatic, Liam Gaggler,...
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Funny story:  All football fans are mugs

All football fans are mugs

At a recent FIFF meeting (Football Is Finally Finished), Mr Porkypies'n Batter gave a resounding insight into what he thought of people connected with football. "It's quite simple. The whole lot of them are mugs. It has been my total life's ambit...
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Funny story:  Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Surprise Striker Selection For Manchester United Vs Basel

Manchester United boss Sir Alex Ferguson has announced a surprise selection for his named striker in the Champion's League match against Basel at Old Trafford. After losing stars Wayne Rooney and Javier Hernandez to injury, Ferguson was said to be...
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Funny story:  Man U make Champions League group stage draw-master top seed for knock-out phase draw

Man U make Champions League group stage draw-master top seed for knock-out phase draw

Manchester United have confirmed they will be making the man who presided over the draw for the Champions League group stage, their top seed to take the reigns for the draw for the knock-out phase of this years competition. Officials for the Premi...
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Funny story:  Offside shagging karma blamed as Man U Champions bid flops

Offside shagging karma blamed as Man U Champions bid flops

Wembley - Traces of a karmic impotence whoremoan may have done for Man U a postmortem on Saturday night's game has found. Random testing of players found depleted dopamine levels before the match consistent with 'getting an earful from the Missus'...
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Funny story:  Messi - We Could Have Scored Ten

Messi - We Could Have Scored Ten

Barcelona superstar, Lionel Messi - rated by many as the best player in the world - shrugged off suggestions that Barcelona's 3-1 Champions League Final victory over Manchester United had been a hard fought contest. The diminutive Argentinian geni...
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Funny story:  Sir Alex Joins Forces With Cheryl Cole

Sir Alex Joins Forces With Cheryl Cole

After the ritual humiliation Man Utd suffered at the hands of Barcelona in the Champions League final, Sir Alex Ferguson is changing career at the ripe old age of 69. Having seen his beloved side, carefully crafted through the years, being dismant...
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Funny story:  Sensation As Messi Hangs Up His Boots

Sensation As Messi Hangs Up His Boots

The world of football is in a state of shock with the news that Argentinian superstar Lionel Messi has quit the game. Just minutes after helping Barcelona to win the Champions League final against Sir Alex Ferguson's Man Utd, the 23 year old maest...
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President Obama OK' Trillion Dollar Bills

Will print only 20 but we will send our creditors and pay off national debt. And so I get no argument, I put Ronald Reagan's picture on it.

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