Blackburn Rovers superstar striker Anthony Stokes has pleaded guilty to attacking an Elvis impersonator one night out in the ghetto. The 28 year old has was described as having a "wooden heart" by the prosecutor displayed a lack of empathy as he ente...
Oligarch Alexei Salmon may become the new outright owner of Celtic and Rangers football clubs when the North Sea oil is divided up, Scotch gang leaders have announced.
His oil rigs and any football clubs will have the "protection" of razor wieldi...
Celtic football club has vociferously denied that its players are bored of football now that Rangers have gone to play in the Nether regions of Scottish football.
But an insider has tonight revealed that this is not true. Archie McTaggart, chie...
Swansea's excellent start to the season has caught the eye of Barcelona's Cesc Fabregas, who used Twitter to pay tribute to Michael Laudrup's side.
Sounds like another ex-Arsenal player wanting to join a club at the top of the table.
Celtic have initiated talks with Auxerre over the transfer of Willy Boly as manager Neil Lennon seeks a dominant centre-half.
(Mail on Sunday)
Liverpool's Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam has warned his club-mates to expect a hostile atmosphere when they visit Hearts in Thursday's Europa League tie.
No need to worry about a Glasgow Kiss, but watch out for the Edinburgh Elbow..
Rangers crowd of 49,000 v East Stirlingshire in Scottish Division Three was 17,000 more than the combined attendances of the Scottish Premier Leag...
Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg.
HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2
Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team.
Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0
Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...
Northern Premier League side Kendal United have signed a sponsorship deal with a company which makes fake beards.
Handy for the manager if he needs to sneak away without giving a press conference after a bad defeat.
Celtic goalkeeper Fraser Forster has likened HJK Helsinki's artificial surface, where the Scottish champions will perform on Wednesday, to playing in a car park.
New Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers says Luis Suarez must forget the racism controversy of last season.
Rodgers was spotted leaving HMV earlier with the DVD 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' plus a book called 'Dummies Guide to Hypnotising Stupid Footballers'
Celtic begin their defence of the Scottish Premier League with a narrow 1-0 win over Aberdeen at Celtic Park on the fi...
Portsmouth are due to play a friendly against AFC Wimbledon next week and such are their financial problems their squad list in the programme is empty.
Bring your boots - you might get a game!
Liverpool beat Gomel 1-0 in Belarus in the First leg of the First Round of the Europa League, with a goal from Stewart Downing.
Who said Stewart Downing can't produce the goods at the highest l...
Speculation was mounting last night that Scottish Premier League crisis club Rangers were looking to buy English league one club Bury and move the club 200 miles up to Glasgow, bringing English Football League fixtures to Scotland for the first time.
Celtic Football club have released a statement saying that they will probably have to say "No" to newly created football team "The Rangers" plea for inclusion in the Scottish Premier League.
The decision came after the Celtic board got together a...
Celtic boss, Neil Lennon, launched an astonishing attack on Scotlands referees yesterday evening after his team was dumped out of the Scottish cup.
The tipping point appears to have been the controversial penalty awarded to their semi-final oppone...
A top sports pundit has told the BBC and Sky to shut up about Glasgow Celtic and the Scottish FA Cup.
"It's hilarious, isn't it" laughed EIF News & Features sport editor Thelonious Adidas, after watching the BBC's Football Focus today.
Pakistan - Lahore Police HQ sources are saying tonight a 'natural causes' verdict is highly likely as pathologists delve to explain the sudden unexpected death of Paul McBride QC.
The Scottish lawyer was found dead in bed at the Shangrila Hotel Pr...
Northern Irish football was thrown into scandal last night after it turned out they might just possibly have accidentally appointed the wrong M.O'Neil as manager.
Michael O'Neill was given the job on December 28th 2011, the week between Christmas...
Rangers chairman Craig Whyte has revealed to close friends how he plans to pay the tax bill that forced the Scottish Premier League Champions into administration, forcing the SPL to deduct them 10 points.
A friend of a friend of a friend of a frie...
New research from Glasgow University has shown that football was invented in Scotland, and not, as the history books have it, in Cambridge.
"We have documentary evidence that football was being played in Glasgow as far back as 1066," said Scottish...
Pundits across Scotland are rubbing their hands at anticipation at what promises to be one of the most enthralling campaigns for many years.
"I can't wait" says Dundee football correspondent Matty McStay, "United have got in the exciting talent, y...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
United States Stupidity Quotient
Hunters Attempt to Take Back NRA
Trump Farts, Blames It On Obama
Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team
Super Bowl Winners Eagles Do Victory Tour
Eric, Donald Trump, Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Offered Big Hollywood Movie Roles
Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Kidnapped and Returned by the Russians
Vice-President Pence Reveals He Has a Fear of Orientals
Scientists Seek Artificial Filter for Trump's Thoughts
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!