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Funny story: Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

Pope Francis on Sin and Penance.

VATICAN CITY PAPAL ANNOUNCEMENT. The following was broadcast last night by Pope Francis from Rome. "The Holy See's concern with the march of materialism has prompted her to reinstate PENANCE as the primary mode of the expiation of sins. For too long we have ignored the sacrament and its healing power. The global obsession with transient pleasures, with material things, with cosmetics, travel...
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Funny story: Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...
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Funny story: Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

WEST BANK-A number of Dead Sea Squirrels, found in one of the Qumran Caves in a large plateau near the West Bank, have stunned archeologists at the nearby Qumran National Park who are investigating them. The Dead Sea Squirrels, six of them sta...
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Funny story: Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

Whole lotta twerkin' goin' on!

BENNINGTON, VT - Students--especially coed students--at Bennington, VT's, Catholic academy, Mount Anthony Union High School, really know how to "get down"--and their principal, Susie Q. Maguire is not happy about her student body's fancy moves. In...
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Funny story: Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Philadelphia, PA-- A six-foot tall statue of the Virgin Mary inside a local church has been doing something strange. Parishers at the church of Our Lady Of Hysterical Weeping say the statue has begun smoking marijuana. The statue begins exhaling sm...
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Funny story: Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

Catholics put pot into their prayers, over Pope's objections

The Vatican - A secret enclave of Catholic bishops and cardinals has added marijuana smoking to the church's menu of Holy Sacraments. The unprecedented action is expected to boost the popularity of Catholicism while replenishing the church's coffers,...
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Funny story: Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

Cardinal Dolan Arrested For Theft Of Contraceptives

In response to Cardinal Nolan's erroneously saying that contraceptives can be purchased at 7-11's and implying that they are available even to poor women, the National Coalition of American Nuns has established a Women's Health Center North of 100th...
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Funny story: Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

A fragment of an ancient Egyptian papyrus known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," unveiled in 2012, shows no evidence of being a modern forgery, as some critics had charged, according to an article published in the Harvard Theological Review. The con...
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Funny story: Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

Vatican Admits Existence of Nun Special Forces Unit

VATICAN CITY, ROME - A spokesman for Vatican City finally admitted today that, yes, there is a special forces unit operating under the authority of the Holy See. The possible existence of the ecclesiastical unit came to light when an 84 year-old...
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Funny story: Vatican Defies UN, Assaults Sex Abuse Report

Vatican Defies UN, Assaults Sex Abuse Report

The Vatican is responding to today's much-anticipated report from the U.N. Committee on the Rights of the Child. Church officials testified before the committee a month ago. Today's U.N. report bluntly criticized the Catholic hierarchy for polici...
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Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Says No To Childless Couples

Cardinal Baloney Says No To Childless Couples

There are many couples in the U.S. who have decided not to have children due to the certainty that the offspring would get a horrible disease, passed to it through one of the parents. But due to scientific breakthroughs, disease causing genes my...
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Funny story: Vatican's In Utero Baptism Initiative "Perfect Way to Get 'em While They're Young"

Vatican's In Utero Baptism Initiative "Perfect Way to Get 'em While They're Young"

THE VATICAN - Though Pope Francis' turn at the papal office is still in its infancy, he has already become widely regarded as the most progressive in the Vatican's long history. But while doubters criticize many of his recent viewpoints as being "un-...
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Funny story: Cardinal Baloney Opposes Relief From Torturous Pain

Cardinal Baloney Opposes Relief From Torturous Pain

In a recent Times, there is a front-page story entitled, "Murder Or Mercy?" It is, in part, a story of an ailing World War II veteran who commits suicide. Before his death the 88-year-old man told his son, because of his terminal illness, that...
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Funny story: Pope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say

Pope Francis's Superficial Christlikeness is Miraculous, Observers Say

Dateline: VATICAN-Experts agree that Pope Francis has made a concerted effort to change people's impression of the Catholic Church, by adopting a less ostentatious style of public relations, leading non-Christians and Christians alike to be aston...
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Funny story: Pope-A-Dope Part 3: At Which Point You Know Who (Just For The Heaven And You Know Where Of It) Does What He Can To Further Prove That 1+2<3

Pope-A-Dope Part 3: At Which Point You Know Who (Just For The Heaven And You Know Where Of It) Does What He Can To Further Prove That 1+2<3

VATICAN CITY - And so, to sum things up. "Wait! No…..huh?" Oh yeah. In other words, more or less, recklessly composed for just such an occasion, here's an otherwise additional supply from Pope Francis, as unleashed recently via his first offi...
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Funny story: Pope-A-Dope Part 1: Pope Francis Deals It Up From The Bottom Of His Own Private What The Heck

Pope-A-Dope Part 1: Pope Francis Deals It Up From The Bottom Of His Own Private What The Heck

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis unleashed his how you like me now mission statement for his (so far anyway) perpetually perplexing papacy Tuesday. During which he attempted to explain - via a variety of highly suspicious words otherwise recklessly distr...
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Funny story: Pope enters reality TV biz, premiering "Fish on Friday"

Pope enters reality TV biz, premiering "Fish on Friday"

The Vatican - Faced with rising legal costs and shrinking contributions, the Catholic Church is jumping into the lucrative reality TV segment with an unscripted show that features the Son of God. "Our initial offering will be a how-to reality-ba...
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Funny story: Three Nuns Vow To Walk From Boston To Los Angeles To Prove That Nuns Are Not Lazy

Three Nuns Vow To Walk From Boston To Los Angeles To Prove That Nuns Are Not Lazy

BOSTON - Three nuns from St. Lobster's Church in Boston have stated that they are fed up with non-Catholic individuals saying that nuns are basically lazy. Sister Marie Bingo told National Focus Magazine reporter Durango Tucker that when she was i...
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Showing page 1 (of 17 pages)
Breaking News...

Banks will close even earlier on Shortest Day

Banks already close too early for most people's convenience. They will close at 11 am, on the shortest day, this year 'because we can 'says Exec.
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